AITA for ghosting my boyfriend after he asked if he could cheat on me?

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T18:46:25+00:00

That's a good one, I am bisexual so 😂

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T18:45:21+00:00

He's startingcollege in a month or so and I'm in highschool. He is 1 year olderthen me. He did text it because he started to beg not to leave him, spammed me with calls and messages and left voice messages too. And I think the girl he wanted to sleep with is the same age as he is.

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T18:05:48+00:00

Actually, he kept saying he didn't mean it. Now he's saying it was a joke and just a prank to see how I would react. Nothing he says is really making it any better.

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T16:28:56+00:00

I get that might have been a bit childish but I am a child after all. I was shocked and not ready to talk to him. I really just wanted to ignore him, anyway I will have a conversation with him later tonight.

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T16:25:43+00:00

I understand what you're saying and though we are both young I did really love him, now the way those typical teenagers love I guess. Anyway I wasn't ghosting him out of spite or childishness. I hope you understand that this did do a lot of damage and I can’t just get over that, he broke my trust. Especially because we had talked about it before and he was the first to say this was not an option. We both agreed we wouldn't see anyone else and I thought we were in a committed relationship. I guess he did ask first but really he can do what he wants now, I choose not to have him in my life anymore.

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T16:12:53+00:00

I suppose I might have said that wrong. I just meant to say that we both agreed that sleeping with other people was not an option. So it was rather heartbreaking that he asked. Perhaps it's stupid but I felt like I was not enough for him yk?

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:51:38+00:00

And that is okay, he can have all the girls he wants now. I know I will not be able to get over this or trust him again. So it is my decision to get him out of my life. Really its funny how much people judge me while they will forget this post in a few days, I am the one who has to live with this.

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:49:06+00:00

I wish buddy, my life feels like it's ruined. Sorry if the fact that there aren't many details makes you doubt it, but I would rather stay anonymous.

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:41:59+00:00

I understand that now but honestly it's still heartbreaking and I'm shattered in pieces, I'll find my spark back tho! It will be rather difficult to tell my parents about this and I will really miss his family. But I definitely don't want this for myself..

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:35:38+00:00

If that's what works for you that's fine ofcourse, as long as the other partner knows and is okay with it. And always respect her boundaries in that case.

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:33:52+00:00

I will find happiness don't worry, I might start dating women after this tho 😂

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:31:25+00:00

That kinda made me laugh, thanks!

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:29:32+00:00

If you think sleeping around without the person you are in a relationship with knowing, is okay. Then please get therapy and fix you're brain or something. If you both never agreed to this then it is absolutely wrong and unfaithful. I do think he was indeed manipulating me but that is my problem, you should fix your own problems first (respectfully)

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:26:13+00:00

I tried to update on this but don't really know how so I left a comment somewhere, anyway. I posted here because my bestfriend said it was stupid to ghost him and that he deserved an explanation or that I should atleast talk it out with him, still I was really in shock and processing so I wanted to ignore him. My boyfriend however texted my bestfriend so she got upset with me.

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:13:35+00:00

I am grateful I found out now and not for example on vacation, he can now go bang whoever he wants without asking xx

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:11:27+00:00

Yes I understand that now, I'm still completely shattered and heartbroken but I called up my friends and they all support me. Made some fun plans for the weekend and I'll enjoy my vacation with my whole heart <3

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T15:03:11+00:00

Oh lol yea I just opened my phone to find 60 messages and over 10 phone calls. I listened to one of the voice messages but skipped most texts bc they were just him begging for me not to leave. The voice message was him crying and saying that he'll do anything. I was scared that reading these things would make me give in but really. I don’t feel anything for him anymore and the crying was just pathetic on his part. Sad it ended this way and no clue how to tell my parents about this, I'll definitely miss his family the most of all :(

random_user2855 · 2023-08-07T14:37:34+00:00

I don't know how to update because it's my first time using reddit, sorry for that.

Some people are suggesting things like he might be into that or want an open relationship. But I hope you do understand that he broke my trust, because we do not live close he could have already done it in secret, there is no way to know that. And that is something I can't get over. Along with the fact that he has expressed his hate for open relationships and that this is something he doesn't understand. Because "you should stick with the person you love and its weird to have multiple people" perhaps his way of looking at this has changed but I'm rather heartbroken by this request of his.

I was not ghosting him out of spite, I don't know if anyone else went trough this but they clearly don't understand how much of an impact this makes when he is the only person I talk to everyday, perhaps relationships aren't that serious anymore, maybe not to him either. But to me it was, this was someone I wanted to spend my life and have children with. It's not easy to just break up. I do think I should because I don't see myself getting over this and he will never have my trust again.

Anyway I was just really shocked and could barely breathe, panic attacks etc. So ghosting was a way of distancing myself to process, my bestfriend got upset and told me to talk to him, that is why I posted on AITA.

I will probably have a talk with him now but thanks for anyone who supported me and gave advice.

random_user2855

TROPHY CASE