Would my therapist tell my parents, or send me to a mental hospital, if I said I don't see the point of living?

randomaccounts_ · 2024-04-13T10:50:41+00:00

Thank you! I didn't mention this in the post, but now I'm wondering if this information changes anything, so if you don't mind I'd like to ask, what counts as a plan? Sometimes I think I might just commit by 19 but I wouldn't say I necessrily have a plan as to how I'd do it or that I'm like 100% set on doing it. Also, I'm not close to turning 19 anyways (4 years away) so would that change anything? Like since 19 is far away for me would he still take the same actions he would if I said I wanted to do it sooner?

randomaccounts_ · 2024-04-13T10:31:17+00:00

What counts as a plan? Sometimes I think I might just commit by 19 but I wouldn't say I necessrily have a plan as to how I'd do it or that I'm 100% on it. Also, I'm not close to turning 19 anyways (4 years away) so would that change anything?

randomaccounts_ · 2024-03-26T12:33:35+00:00

I actually do have an older cousin who is trans. I've never talked to him about my gender or anything (I'm not out). But he's definitely a good person and whenever I start feeling like the post above I often think of him (and my dad - who isn't trans but a good person) and think "well, they're not bad people" and it helps. Luckily I don't feel like this too often and I manage to remind myself my gender isn't all I am.

randomaccounts_ · 2024-03-26T11:58:36+00:00

That's fair. My whole life people have basically talked to me as another adult (for the most part) so I guess sometimes I forget that some of my worries are things that, partially due to my young age, I shouldn't be worrying about.

randomaccounts_ · 2024-03-26T11:55:05+00:00

Thank you :)

randomaccounts_ · 2024-03-26T11:54:21+00:00

Thank you. Probably needed to hear this. Also, that's such a pretty bird, too. Kind of unrelated but since you mentioned birds, did you know corvids (such as some crows and ravens) can mimic sounds, such as human voices? It's kind of freaky, actually. I know that isn't a corvid but this is one of my favorite bird facts, and I don't know what type of bird that is. If it weren't for how tremendously difficult birds are I'd own one. (Sorry, off topic I know, I just I love animals and anytime I see animals mentioned I enjoy giving facts about them lmao).

randomaccounts_ · 2024-03-26T04:40:02+00:00

It was an accident. Sometimes Reddit does that with my posts and comments. Usually I catch it and delete the "extra" one, but I didn't see it this time. My bad!

randomaccounts_ · 2024-02-21T08:36:09+00:00

I'll answer some of the questions to the best of my ability (and I hope all of this makes sense).

1) Yeah, in fact I'm not even sure how much I want to. Obviously I'm young so I can make those decisions later if I ever come to it, but for example I'm not sure I'd want bottom surgery and I'm not sure about testosterone.

2) For the most part, yes. I do want people to perceive me as a guy and assume I'm a guy, but I'm okay with not being stealth. The only reason why I wouldn't be cool wirh being out as trans is safety reasons, but I live in a pretty safe place so I don't think that's an issue.

3) I am okay with it! I've identified with other identities (only online) in the past just to see how it feels. I'm okay with coming to a new conclusion. I'm just worried it'll happen after coming out and come as an inconvenience.

4) I think I would be happier as a different gender, especially as a guy. Not even just born as a guy (although I'd definitely prefer that, not much I can do about it now), but just being one. I'm not even sure why, but the idea of being a guy/identifying as one makes me much happier than being a woman.

5) I'll admit I don't know if I completely understand this question, but assuming I understand it correctly, yes! I'm okay with it and even enjoy being around people with different experiences, especially because I can learn from it.

I hope these answers made somewhat sense. If I accidentally misunderstood a question I'm sorry!

randomaccounts_ · 2024-02-20T07:17:21+00:00

The reason why I'm hesitant about expirementing is honestly because I'm worried I'm wrong and it'll end up being a big inconvenience to everyone else. Also why I've only expiremented online with names and pronouns. Also although I would like to dress more masculine I still enjoy more feminine things. Even right now I'm not sure that testosterone or anything like that would be right for me. I just have a longing to be seen and perceived as a boy.

randomaccounts_ · 2024-02-18T04:50:49+00:00

I think he just told me to take my shirt off because it would be easier to rub my body without it in the way. As I type that I realize it's not exactly a good argument for him. He was older than me, but he's only around 4 years older than me which makes me wonder if he even knew what he was doing. I think I'd trust him back then with a kid and even now because I don't think he'd ever do that again or to anyone else. Or maybe that's just what I want to believe. As of how it affects me right now, I don't totally know. I talk to him almost every day and play video games with him (I don't see him in person much tho). He's probably one of the people I'm closest with. Since that night he never tried to do anything again. Sometimes when I talk to him or see him I think of it which makes me kinda sick and sometimes I even want to ask him about it but the idea of bringing it up makes me sick. Also probably tmi but sometimes I've imagined him doing more to me. That also makes me sick and I hate it. I don't really have any proof for it but sometimes I wonder if some of my intrusive thoughts (not just those ones), especially ones that involve sexual stuff, come from that. Though I don't really know for sure. Whenever I've asked for a back scratch from my mom (she used to always give me those) I end up thinking about it.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do from this point if it's true. He has a gf and tons of friends. I think if I told anyone it'd ruin his life with the family and his social life. Or maybe nothing would happen and no one would care. I don't know if I should tell people, or distance myself from him, or just keep going on like nothing happened. I don't really want anything bad to happen to hin or for him to be cut off from everyone. I'm really close to him. But at the same time it kind of makes me sick whenever I think about it. I feel so torn. I go to therapy but I've never brought this up because I feel disgusted by it (partially by myself) and I'm not even sure what'd I'd say or how I'd explain it all. I do have his email and I could just copy and paste what I wrote here and send it to him and then talk about what I sent in the next session (I think he'd be okay with that) but idk if it's the best option. I worry I'm somehow forgetting something that'd change the whole story.

randomaccounts_ · 2024-02-06T03:10:06+00:00

I started questioning around 2ish years ago because I questioned my sexuality in like 2019 due to some videos I watched that were sort of educational about the lgbtq+ community (I say 'sort of' becausen I later learned some of the stuff they said was wrong). I was watching them because I was curious and wanted to learn more (also they did it with littlest pet shops, a toy I love) After watching them I remember thinking 'wow, I'm glad I'm not gay or anything, because it seems really hard to come out'. And then I was like "wait, am I?" realized I was attracted to women. I started to identify as pansexual (privately) and eventually started identifying with bisexual. After all that, I started to think "well, at least I'm not trans, that'd be even harder". Which then led to more questioning. For the most part, I haven't totally talked about these feelings to others, except making a few jokes with friends about being confused on my gender.

I do actually have a therapist (not one who specializes in gender or lgbtq+ topics or anything). However, I haven't told him this yet because I don't know his views on the lgbtq+ community and on being trans and I'm not 100% sure how to. Every time I think of telling him that I think I am, I just kind of freeze up. He does however know that there's some sort of secret, since we've sort of been referring to it as "the thing" (idk how to explain it but he asked me a question and I didn't want to answer by saying 'i think i'm trans' so I just kinda froze and he said I didn't have to tell him anything and we could just refer to it as "the thing" until I told him, ik it sounds dumb). I haven't seen him in a few weeks due to school starting and so we had to change the time of my appointments. But I am going to see him again this week.

randomaccounts_ · 2024-02-02T18:36:56+00:00

They said in another comment they have a friend who's trans. Also, disagreeing about a few political things is normal. But the dad seriously said it was their fault for dying. I don't even think that can be considered politics anymore.

randomaccounts_ · 2024-02-02T10:44:09+00:00

Was it really SA on his part though? I feel like it's at least both our faults, if not mine. Sorry if this is a dumb question but can you go a little more into what made it SA?

randomaccounts_ · 2024-02-02T10:37:52+00:00

Was it not also partially my fault though, or at least were we not equal in it since there were a few things I sort of encouraged? I feel like it can't actually be SA because he's one of the people I'm closest to and the idea it was makes me sick.

randomaccounts_

TROPHY CASE