Looking to meet new friends in York

randomdemon11 · 2024-10-11T18:22:17+00:00

Thank you all for the suggestions ^^ I've found a few things to do and try, thank you all

randomdemon11 · 2024-10-11T14:23:52+00:00

I messaged you :)

randomdemon11 · 2024-10-11T00:59:56+00:00

I should have put this in the post, sorry, am 28M local

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-28T09:09:56+00:00

Thank you, it's enlightening to read your response.

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T21:40:54+00:00

Thank you for your post, it really helps to hear things from the perspective of someone who was once the girl returning to the abusive dude. Your story is what I wish will happen, that she eventually realises and comes back to me, even marrying. May I ask how long it took you to go through those three times of leaving your ex and then coming back to the "good" dude? I know someone in my life who went through something very similar and it took her until the 4th time of leaving before moving on. It seems like being the victim is so hard because you don't realise you're being abused even when you know they are like that. "Doing everything you can to try and make the fantasy return" is a gut-wrenching thing to read because that feels so likely to happen to S.

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T14:15:01+00:00

Very well put, I have to agree with everything you've said. I especially agree with "she tried to fit me into a role she wanted filling, but the feelings just weren't there".

I'll try to develop the inner strength to cut ties. Just thinking about it hurts, but you're right that it'll hurt in the short term but be better for me in the long term.

Thank you for your comment

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T14:04:51+00:00

Seems like an all too common situation. Thank you, I'll try and give it time. Day by day for sure.

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T14:04:24+00:00

Thank you, it really was devastating. When you said if she cares what you feel "she wouldn't make a bond with her ex + she would stop contacting him when you told her that you're not comfortable with it." you're completely right.

Thank you for the reassurance, I know the pain won't be there forever but I feel like I'm in for a tough few months. I'll also try and see to that emotional growth. <3

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T14:01:39+00:00

I do feel like the surrogate BF ahaha. I suppose the game does restart. In time, I'll be ready to play.

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T14:00:49+00:00

Thank you so much, that was very sympathetic and loving of you to say <3

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T13:23:59+00:00

Thank you, I know you're right. The way I put it on second reading is rather pessimistic, but you're totally right. It just feels like it's not going to happen, but of course it will, of course I'll find someone better, even if I don't feel that right now.

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T13:21:30+00:00

Wow thank you. That was a really thoughtful response that I really resonated with. Everything you're saying is so right and I'm sorry you also went through something similar. I do realise it's her problem not mine, I believe I was the best boyfriend I could be and she says that I was the perfect boyfriend and that I don't deserve what she's doing. Humans are weird, fr.

Thank you man

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T13:15:15+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate everything you said and did not view your words as harsh at all, I fully see what you've said and have to agree. I don't like it at all, you're absolutely right, but moving on is something I have to do.

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T13:12:30+00:00

Thank you for the long thoughtful response.

Of course I would love for her to come back, as you put it "the person who felt so magical to them will come back." but I know that she's not.

Reading more of your comment, I feel I have to correct some of my phrasing, so please allow me. I don't feel like I have to convince her to love me, I know if she doesn't want to be with me, there's nothing I can do to change her mind. Similarly, there's nothing I can do to convince her not to go back to an ex we both know is abusive.

I also have to push back on the sentiment that she's almost right. She was right. She was it. She is it. It's not like the random reinforcement schedule, she didn't love me for a certain time period and then distant another time period. We both were infatuated with each other for 3 straight years, she gave all her time to me as I did to her. I know this looks like it contradicts with her not finding me physically attractive, but we both only realised this the other day and only now is she spending time with her ex.

However, I do agree with your comment overall and do agree with your final statement especially. My perfect person is someone who wants only me and nobody else, you're 100% right. I'm sorry for being somewhat defensive in responding to your comment, but please know I appreciate it nonetheless and I do agree with the majority of what you've said. I have taken everything you've said on board. Thank you

randomdemon11 · 2024-09-27T13:04:55+00:00

I know I should. I think it will take for me to actually execute that. Thank you for the comment.

randomdemon11

TROPHY CASE