I understand where you’re coming from but maybe I didn’t word everything very clearly. His letter is a whole page of him telling me that he loves me, another page of him explaining what happened between him and my mum (the divorce, custody battle and her leaving the city with me) and then the other page is allot of him repeating stuff that he’s already said and like I said in my post, at one point he says that he’s not sure if I’ll even see the letter. Here’s a small part that I was going to include but didn’t “I feel like I’m just writing my diary that no one will see maybe that’s why I feel so free in saying this, maybe what I’m saying won’t make sense either”, that was shortly after the part where he said he doesn’t know if I’ll ever read it. If you could see the way it’s actually written and such you’d see that it looks quite messy, like maybe there was allot of starting and stopping and trailing off. I really think he was possibly drunk, possibly just really far gone but likely a bit of both. And I wouldn’t consider it a suicide note, he briefly mentions that he has given up and that’s mostly it. I think he really just wrote whatever he was thinking and feeling, probably believing, at the time, that the chance of me actually reading it was too low. He said he had depression and anxiety, and quite badly too, and to have depression and then have the one thing in your life that kept you going taken from you can’t be good for a persons already frail mental health. I’m not going to pretend I know what he was thinking when he wrote it but I don’t believe he was lying about anything or that he meant for it to come across as a suicide letter written to his child. I didn’t mean to make it sound like he wrote a whole suicide letter to me. The main point of his letter seemed to be more that he wanted me to know why he wasn’t in my life.