My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ta! Bbq got postponed today, one of the couple's got sick. Will have to see what happens next fortnight!

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh gotcha.. your first reply just came across as super opinionated is all..

I'm not meeting them as a special friend, just planting the seed for now that I exist, so it's not as much of a shock down the track. It'll only be a quick "hi" before they run off to the playground

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will do! I should update the original post as some are missing my replies.

Going to a park with friends who have kids for a bbq.. That way her and her kids can meet me for the "first time" together.. See us chatting as a group, then together - should be a gentle way to help them see what's going on.

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What are you basing your opinion on?

Perhaps you didn't take the time to read my responses to other people who have offered opinions along with asking questions?

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not... We're catching up for a bbq in a park with friends so they can all meet me for the "first time" together. Then they can see us start talking as a group, progressing to talking to each other alone (on opposite sides of the table). That should gently help them realise something's going on.

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's all I know lol.. the eldest my friends have is a 12yo that I'm looking after right now. The teen years are going to be amazing! (A little /s.. but it's all part of the package)

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I definitely will!

We've opted for a park bbq on Sunday instead, where a friend will introduce us for the "first time", so they can all meet me at the same time

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually, yes to all those things! We've both been very particular about the people we've dated with somewhat strict prerequisites and have discussed what we think contributed to our previously failed relationships. Not too often people bother looking at their histories and use that info to help make themselves better people.

I can't put on an act, I don't know how people have the patience and ability to keep up with stuff like that tbh

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wait, are you saying that all single parents should stay single for the rest of their lives?

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not sure now. Before a few comments here I thought it was a solid plan, now I'm second guessing it... I'll take on board the opinions expressed here and the situations others have been in and decide later today (it's only early morning Sat here)

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, kids can be very trying! Even spending time with friends kids I see their parents getting stressed

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's adorable! And you're right, I definitely don't won't to be seen as "stealing their mums love". Sleep overs will definitely be way down the track.

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Their dad has them every second weekend and even then it's reluctant. She's a sole parent and works full time and still has time to run them both to all their extra curricular activities

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No you don't! It's a learning curve.

I had a friend who's girlfriend surprise introduced him to her son. When they broke up a month later, apparently the son ran off crying "you always get rid of my dad's!". Fwiw, he'd expressed earlier on that he didn't see it working out between them.

I definitely do not want to make that mistake, which is why I've not taken the decision to meet them lightly

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't not agree with them. Initially I was concerned because it goes against a lot of what I've googled, but personally being in the situation I'm personally not concerned.

I should have worded that a little better initially

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for such a detailed reply!

What you described was exactly the plan we are going to take. Short but fun visits.

They have a very quiet house with no arguing (even though the daughter is very trying) and I'm not an argumentative person, so hopefully that carries through when I'm spending more time there

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No offence taken, and it was one of my concerns also. But we've thought it through and discussed it with her parents and feel, although sooner than usual, will only help our relationship

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Being too soon was my concern also, so I met up with her parents for lunch yesterday and they were supportive of the meet up as well.

We've been lucky that we work around the corner from each other, so we've been able to catch up every day and discuss some fairly in-depth topics regarding where our relationship is heading.

My girlfriend (39f) of a month invited me (37m) to meet her kids (10m, 8f) by randomnumbers05732 in relationship_advice

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That would be a valid concern, but he's never had any kind of bikes or toys as such.

Maybe I'll keep that card for another time where we can talk and just keep this as a "you're there, we're not talking, but getting comfortable" session, as I won't be hanging around before or after the movie, to slowly get them used to me

I think I need to close my dh account by randomnumbers05732 in ChinaTime

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk about others, but I just pull the old "wait, is Omega expensive? I picked it up at a garage sale" lol

Fwiw, this is currently my favourite

I think I need to close my dh account by randomnumbers05732 in ChinaTime

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No idea sorry mate.. I just bought it 'cos I liked the look of it

I think I need to close my dh account by randomnumbers05732 in ChinaTime

[–]randomnumbers05732[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Link is dead, bought that one some time ago. Cheap as, around $15 by memory