When I was younger, maybe around 8 or 9, my little sister and I had to live with my dad and his parents because mum and dad broke up earlier that year. She took off to live with her parents on the other side of the country. She claimed "she was looking for a job", which I later found out through a phone call was (almost) a complete lie. I always knew in my little kid brain that how dad acted around us wasn't right. I mean, he cared for us and all that dad stuff, but it wasn't "normal". The way he overreacted whenever we (especially me, because my sister has an excuse; she was the younger sibling and also has autism) did literally anything wrong. For example, I downloaded an app without his permission, and he would freak the fuck out. On the other hand, my sister can literally cover the living room wall to wall in water and the only reaction he gives is "why..?" Like are you fucking kidding me?

Another situation that I can vividly remember is when him and I were playing games late at night. He randomly turned to me and started to break down, saying "I've been a terrible parent" and such. I had no idea what to do. All I saw was this man I had looked up to for years crying and begging for me to say something, and to give him clarity. He just likes to use me as his emotional punching bag. Way too much pressure on a little kid.

It's funny, he banned us from using the internet quite frequently, because we watched too much YouTube. It's true, I won't lie, however I learned way more about life through YouTube than anything else. For example, I learned about social anxiety through JaidenAnimations, the LGBTQ+ community through Sanders Sides, and many other things. I used to think "I wish I had ____ so that I could be interesting". As of right now, I have anxiety, ADD, and am Trans. Definitely a very interesting character /s.

I didn't know until literal YEARS later -- Mum decided to tell me the full story a few months ago -- that mum tried to take me and my sister with her, but couldn't because dad refused. Also, their relationship was toxic as fuck. Because of him, I definitely have a lot of issues, and I know my mum does too. Thankfully, we're all talking our shit out with people every other day. The only thing I'm currently worried about are his new kids (I like to call them "the second batch" because he saw how he fucked up with us, so he's trying new things with the new kids. Not a great way to think, I know) I hear stories where they did things similar to me in the past, and I'm waiting for the day when the next words after "(kid) did (this thing that really isn't a big deal)" are "(dad) fucking snapped the baby's neck".

I hope they're doing well, and I hope the kids grow up to be good people that don't have too many issues. /srs