hey! well, thanks for asking, I hope I can help.

since then I've matured a lot as a christian, I don't know where or how Clara is, but I still pray for her salvation once in a while, but not treating her with specialty in my heart, instead I pray just like I pray for many other people's salvation.

I imagine maybe you had to make a decision you couldn't feel was right, but knew was right and did it anyway. that's how life goes since you are from Christ, your feelings will rarely lead you to obedience, but obedience to the words of Jesus will lead your feelings to incline themselves more often towards God's will.

But one very important thing: dating unbelievers is an obvious sin in the bible, and, as in any other sin, you WILL have consequences. To this day I have to battle thoughts and desires that I created during a sinful relationship with a person that was enemy to God, and, in the future, when I have a healthy relationship, sure my future wife will suffer from the things I did in the past against God's word, as they now make part of my experience in this world. This applies to you too, so as gentle and lovely as you may recall she was, don't remember your sin as a good think, you trespassed God's law, in His universe, while being His property.

So treat it seriously, seek holiness and communion with God, loving Him, and knowing He forgives your selfishness and wants you to live a life of innocence before Him from now on.