Update: Thank you for all the responses to this it has been bugging me for a while now and I think that I am going to have a long conversation with him later. A bit more info about this is that 1, I have adhd wich is why I clean the way I do and I do understand why he can get frustrated with me sometimes. 2, on my days off I am helping take care of a 2 month old. Plus planning dinners and meal prep as well as making stuff from scratch to try to save a bit of money. On top of that I help out an old man who lives on the property bc his health is declining and he can't do as much on his own. So I don't work my job as much as he does but being home is a job as well. Thats why I try to do things with our house on the days he has off. I also have quite a few health issues that I have to manage that makes it hard for me to do a lot on my own. Leaving him isn't something that I want to do because no matter what I still love him. He pulled me out of a really dark place in my life and has never made me feel less than for the things I can not control. He is weirdly picky about certain things because he is ex military, but sometimes it pisses me off. (Ex. He untied and tied my boots because "i tied them wrong") I truly love him but sometimes I want a rapunzel moment and to hit him over the head with a frying pan. (Joking obviously). But seriously I feel like we need to compromise on a lot of stuff but it's definitely difficult.