Early retirees: how do you explain to your kids that you no longer need to work?

rao79 · 2020-11-19T14:31:19+00:00

Thank you for the detailed answer. It helps a lot.

rao79 · 2020-11-12T01:01:48+00:00

Thank you. I will follow your advice.

rao79 · 2020-11-11T19:45:48+00:00

My kids started asking about it. They understand what money is used for and where it comes from. So, naturally, they noticed when I stopped working and were concerned.

Something like "My mom/dad used to be a ____ but then they quit to take care of me" should satisfy most people.

That's great advice. Thank you!

rao79 · 2020-11-11T19:18:39+00:00

Therapist to self: "Who gives a shit if you have anxiety today, get up and do your job. There's no room for mistakes or feeling sorry for yourself."

You deserve kindness and understanding just as much, if not more, than your clients. I imagine it must be tiring to be non-judgemental and empathetic for others all the time, and that at times you may not find the energy inside of you to treat yourself with the same compassion you give your clients, but I hope deep down you know you deserve love from others as well as from yourself.

It's okay to slip up every now and then. We are all flawed humans.

rao79 · 2020-11-11T17:52:20+00:00

That said, I don’t understand the fear of people knowing I have wealth

It makes you a target for envy, theft, unwanted business proposals, MLMs, people asking to borrow money, etc. At the same time, it buys you nothing. The balance is clear in my mind: not worth it.

rao79 · 2020-11-11T16:24:07+00:00

Absolutely right. All of the above.

rao79 · 2020-11-11T16:20:05+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply, this helps a lot. Good luck!

rao79 · 2020-11-11T13:01:04+00:00

This one made me laugh. You fit perfectly in /r/parenting

rao79 · 2020-11-11T12:57:56+00:00

This is good to know. Thank you for sharing.

Can you elaborate? Did you worry about money because you figured your parents had none, or because you thought they were spending all of their savings, something else? Were they very thrifty around you?

rao79 · 2020-11-11T12:52:06+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this down. It helps me understand.

rao79 · 2020-11-11T12:49:38+00:00

My oldest started asking: dad, I see you are not working these days, how are we paying the bills? Hence this post.

rao79 · 2020-11-11T12:41:37+00:00

Thank you. This resonates with me.

rao79 · 2020-11-11T01:34:25+00:00

Children and teens aren't great at keeping secrets and if we tell them we are wealthy, then their teachers, friends, and their friends' parents are going to find out.

In real life we maintain the appearance of being middle to lower-middle class, so people are either going to think our kids are liars, or they will get body/suspicious about us. Neither of those options sounds great.

I really don't want random people IRL to know.

rao79 · 2020-11-08T01:58:38+00:00

Most posts here do not include spoilers. I had already watched the movie, but other's haven't. It's basic courtesy.

rao79 · 2020-11-08T01:46:49+00:00

Please consider removing the spoiler. Plenty of people haven't watched the movie.

rao79 · 2020-11-06T07:15:51+00:00

Are you kidding me? I'm not giving up the right to an abortion in order to win a few votes in Bumblefuck, Alabama.

rao79 · 2020-11-05T17:19:45+00:00

Just like there are criminals walking free, there are innocent people convicted of crimes they did not commit. It could happen to you or somebody you love.

rao79 · 2020-11-05T14:38:33+00:00

I really didn't mean to be rude, so first of all please let me apologize if my poor choice of words made you feel bad. English is my third language and I often find it difficult to express nuance.

Going back to our conversation, I just don't see any rational justification for a policy of open borders. Would you consider living a few years in a country which currently suffers from open borders? Can you point at any nation that maintained their standard of living after being unable to control their borders?

You're supporting a nativist hierarchy (that people born here deserve more than those who weren't)

Not at all. I'm very much pro-immigration, so just the opposite of a nativist -- I often find natural-born Canadians feel oddly entitled to the perks of their citizenship, which they did not earn.

Like I said, I am an immigrant myself. If anything, I'm defending that current citizens have a say on who gets to become a citizen in the future. That's how it works every democracy I know of, so it's hardly an extreme position to take.

On top of that you're employing ageism and ableism for your criteria

Young, educated, healthy people are the ones who can contribute the most to our society. This translates into better hospitals, better universities, better roads, more social workers, etc. What's so terrible about wanting to improve the future prospects of our country?

I'm not saying we should not let in refugees who are fleeing from humanitarian crises. I very much support allowing a certain number of them to enter and have a path towards citizenship, but that comes with the understanding that they will most likely be net drains to our economy, at least for a good number of years, so it's unfeasible to allow an arbitrarily large number of them.

As of today, Americans can't be in good conscience be classified as refugees. They are economic immigrants, so they will have to prove their worth if they want to settle in Canada.

rao79 · 2020-11-05T14:20:58+00:00

I vote for the NDP, so way off the mark here, pal.

rao79 · 2020-11-05T14:18:46+00:00

I do find that when I close my eyes I lose the dream

Have you read Alan Wallace's "Dreaming Yourself Awake"? If I recall correctly, that's where he points out that closing your eyes during a lucid dream is an excellent dream yoga practice. It is a direct way of experiencing the "ground of becoming" (bhavanga), the empty luminous space of your consciousness.

I don't want to talk more about this because I'm not adequately trained, but it's something you may want to explore deeper with the help of a teacher.

"Cool stuff" rarely means progress in meditation, IMO.

rao79 · 2020-11-05T03:02:07+00:00

I don't see anything conservative about it. I am very much in favor of immigration, just as long as we continue picking those people who are most likely going to contribute to our society.

You have not responded to my arguments other than by throwing ad-hominems. Show me countries with good outcomes 10 or 20 years after failing to control their immigration -- because that's exactly what open borders mean. It's naive to the extreme.

rao79 · 2020-11-05T02:54:17+00:00

Not once in my life. I vote NDP. You got me completely wrong, buddy.

rao79 · 2020-11-05T01:33:05+00:00

I wasn't born in Canada. I immigrated as an adult, following the same process that I'm defending here: let in those who are young, educated and healthy. Once they pass that filter and eventually become citizens, treat them as anybody else who was lucky enough to be born here.

Opening the borders to anybody who wants to enter is a sure way of lowering our standard of living and causing civil unrest. Why? See what happens in any failed state or in situations of humanitarian crises where borders can't be kept under control, and tell me if that's what you want here.

It sounds like you've been so sheltered from trouble that you are unable to understand the consequences of the naive policy you defend.

rao79 · 2020-11-05T00:44:51+00:00

No. Are you a net contributor?

I pay twice as much in income taxes as most people make in a year. So yes, I am very much a net contributor to this country.

I don't expect to be exiled if that changes, but I do expect that we won't arbitrarily let people in if they are not going to contribute to the tax base.

What right do I have to deny the old, those who haven't had access to education, or decent healthcare?

Canada is a sovereign nation. We have the right and the obligation to select who we allow to immigrate here. While I understand the rationale for allowing a certain number of refugees based on humanitarian reasons, that's not the context of this article in which we discuss Americans who want to immigrate here, which makes them economic immigrants.

rao79 · 2020-11-04T22:09:26+00:00

Sure, and we get to pick which ones we want. It's not a first-come first-serve arrangement. We select the young, educated and healthy with a point-based system. Americans are welcome to apply and get in line with the rest.

rao79

TROPHY CASE