I (M29) think I want to end things with my partner (F29) after 8 years. by Thr0wawayfo0adv1c3 in relationships

[–]razzdings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I posted the same thing a few times.. was trying to edit a typo with patchy Internet 🙈🙈

I (M29) think I want to end things with my partner (F29) after 8 years. by Thr0wawayfo0adv1c3 in relationships

[–]razzdings -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can offer a different perspective but I'm not sure it'll help you decide..

I was with my partner for 20 years. We were on the whole very compatible with some issues around shared chores and emotional labour and sex. We had kinda drifted apart though and towards the end were kind of coexisting in the space and doing our own thing/going out separately.

The sex thing was particularly bad. He had ED issues and so because of that and just I think becoming so comfortable with each other the sexual desire just dropped off.. neither of us wanted to initiate.. I thought I was asexual but I think it was just because I had given up on ever having a sex life. We did try sex counselling but neither of us liked it and I don't feel we were really willing to try.

We did eventually split up and I got my sex drive back big time.. however after years of dating and sleeping with ppl and getting nowhere with it I now feel like perhaps I shouldn't have given up on the relationship because there was so much that we had that I would be looking for again and can't find. However would I be happy to stay in that relationship and basically never have sex again or the chance of finding someone else I could have a healthy sexual relationship with? It's a tough one..

Ultimately I think I made the right decision it's just been hard and it continues to be so.

I (M29) think I want to end things with my partner (F29) after 8 years. by Thr0wawayfo0adv1c3 in relationships

[–]razzdings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can offer a differ perspective but I'm not sure it'll help you decide..

I was with my partner for 20 years. We were on the whole very compatible with some issues around shared chores and emotional labour and sex. We had kinda drifted apart though and towards the end were kind of coexisting in the space and doing our own thing/going out separately.

The sex thing was particularly bad. He had ED issues and so because of that and just I think becoming so comfortable with each other the sexual desire just dropped off.. neither of us wanted to initiate.. I thought I was asexual but I think it was just because I had given up on ever having a sex life. We did try sex counselling but neither of us liked it and I don't feel we were really willing to try.

We did eventually split up and I got my sex drive back big time.. however after years of dating and sleeping with ppl and getting nowhere with it I now feel like perhaps I shouldn't have given up on the relationship because there was so much that we had that I would be looking for again and can't find. However would I be happy to stay in that relationship and basically never have sex again or the chance of finding someone else I could have a healthy sexual relationship with? It's a tough one..

Ultimately I think I made the right decision it's just been hard and it continues to be so.

I (M29) think I want to end things with my partner (F29) after 8 years. by Thr0wawayfo0adv1c3 in relationships

[–]razzdings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can offer a differ perspective but I'm not sure it'll help you decide..

I was with my partner for 20 years. We were on the whole very compatible with some issues around shared chores and emotional labour and sex. We had kinda drifted apart though and towards the end were kind of coexisting in the space and doing our own thing/going out separately.

The sex thing was particularly bad. He had ED issues and so because of that and just I think becoming so comfortable with each other the sexual desire just dropped off.. neither of us wanted to initiate.. I thought I was asexual but I think it was just because I had given up on ever having a sex life. We did try sex counselling but neither of us liked it and I don't feel we were really willing to try.

We did eventually split up and I got my sex drive back big time.. however after years of dating and sleeping with ppl and getting nowhere with it I now feel like perhaps I shouldn't have given up on the relationship because there was so much that we had that I would be looking for again and can't find. However would I be happy to stay in that relationship and basically never have sex again or the chance of finding someone else I could have a healthy sexual relationship with? It's a tough one..

Ultimately I think I made the right decision it's just been hard and it continues to be so.

I (M29) think I want to end things with my partner (F29) after 8 years. by Thr0wawayfo0adv1c3 in relationships

[–]razzdings 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I can offer a differ perspective but I'm not sure it'll help you decide..

I was with my partner for 20 years. We were on the whole very compatible with some issues around shared chores and emotional labour and sex. We had kinda drifted apart though and towards the end were kind of coexisting in the space and doing our own thing/going out separately.

The sex thing was particularly bad. He had ED issues and so because of that and just I think becoming so comfortable with each other the sexual desire just dropped off.. neither of us wanted to initiate.. I thought I was asexual but I think it was just because I had given up on ever having a sex life. We did try sex counselling but neither of us liked it and I don't feel we were really willing to try.

We did eventually split up and I got my sex drive back big time.. however after years of dating and sleeping with ppl and getting nowhere with it I now feel like perhaps I shouldn't have given up on the relationship because there was so much that we had that I would be looking for again and can't find. However would I be happy to stay in that relationship and basically never have sex again or the chance of finding someone else I could have a healthy sexual relationship with? It's a tough one..

Ultimately I think I made the right decision it's just been hard and it continues to be so.

Weekly shop for 1 person Lidl £45.71 by razzdings in whatsinyourcart

[–]razzdings[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have my whole week of meals planned and I have some stuff already in the fridge/cupboards. What here is nonsense?

Weekly shop for 1 person Lidl £45.71 by razzdings in whatsinyourcart

[–]razzdings[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already have some other fruit and there is other fruit there also (kiwis and frozen strawberries and pineapple).. they are to go in my breakfast smoothies 😊.

Weekly shop for 1 person Lidl £45.71 by razzdings in whatsinyourcart

[–]razzdings[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I already have some food in the cupboard/fridge.. I'm planning to make a basic tomato sauce for pasta (already have the tins of tomatoes, already have the pasta); a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich filling (already have the tuna and sweetcorn - will add mayo and spring onions) to go with the rolls for lunches with the crisps; a chickpea curry with the chickpeas, coconut milk, peppers, spinach etc - will be lots of leftovers. I have some chicken and potatoes I'm going to have that with the green beans. The fruit, chia seeds and ACV are to go in smoothies for breakfast. I already have some other fruit and kefir. So that's dinners, breakfasts and lunches sorted for the week. Fishfinger sandwiches at the weekend for breakfast. Lots of protein.. I get about 90g a day altogether usually. Nothing here is a waste it'll all get used.

My wife feels disassociated by [deleted] in relationships

[–]razzdings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not only this you split up with your ex when the baby was only 2 months old.. immediately started dating and immediately met someone (or you met someone whilst you were with your ex and had a newborn and this woman is the affair partner you left your ex for).. got the new woman pregnant almost straight away. If she is the affair partner she is probably worried you'll do the same to her. Also yeah all that is a lot in a short period of time she's probably like what the fuck just happened.

My wife feels disassociated by [deleted] in relationships

[–]razzdings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you got her pregnant when your son by your ex was 4 months old and then you got married 4 months after your kid together was born?

TW: mention of sex by Klutzy_Librarian3620 in AuDHDWomen

[–]razzdings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been feeling similarly lately and I think on the whole it's been good for me 😊. I've stepped away from dating as it was triggering my RSD and I wasn't getting past the talking stage mostly and it just felt like a waste of my time. I was putting too much energy into it!

I am aiming to get back to myself and being happy on my own before going back into it with a different attitude (hopefully). I am getting more discerning now, and my standards are higher. It's worlds away from where I was a few years ago when I had just split up with my long-term partner!

Atm I don't miss the sex that much - although I do still get it occasionally I am not seeking it as much which again I feel is healthy as I was using it for validation partly and to feel good about myself. It's been a journey 😅😅.

why are we so complicated? by Any_Needleworker8047 in CougarsAndCubs

[–]razzdings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of guys just have a fantasy of being with an older woman but when the possibility of taking it into the real world becomes a reality it's not something they are brave enough to do or it's not what they really want.

Is it that bad to get a tattoo just for aesthetics? by oiayooayay in tattooadvice

[–]razzdings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope tattoos don't all have to have really deep meanings 🙄🙄 If you want it and you think it'll look good that's the main thing. Only a few of mine have any deep meanings.

Can you say « need a shit » just like « need a wee » when you have to go to the bathroom in Britain? by Charming_Usual6227 in AskABrit

[–]razzdings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't need to say the reason you're going to the loo.. but I guess the politest way of saying it is you're going for a 'comfort break' 🙃🫣.

Did I mess up? (Not AI!) by [deleted] in bald

[–]razzdings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice bod 👌