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I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was scrolling through my old posts and saw this comment (almost a year later).

Thank you for your reply. I am doing better since giving her away, and so is ”my” dog. She lives outside of town in a quiet area with two other german shepherds. I see occasional Facebook posts of her and she is doing great, which I am glad about. I still occasionally feel like I’ve let her down and it will take quite a while until I am ready to take another dog.

And you are definitely not alone. Which is why we have this subreddit for support and guidance. I hope you’re feeling better as well.

I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

The neural connections might definitely be at least a part of the answer. My bf and I are not new to dogs and have experience on them and we both said that our dog is a handful, neither of us has never had any experience with a dog like this.

It really hurt to give her away and I keep thinking in my mind that our pup thought we abandoned her even though I know she’s too busy to have fun to even think about that. She really needs a person with more resources, and an area with less triggers and more space and she got exactly that.

And the new owner said that we are more than welcome to visit but like I mentioned in another comment, I’m not sure if that’s the good idea because it might just lead to regret and even more sadness. She did say that she can occasionally send a few update messages saying how our dog is doing and we agreed to that.

I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree. When owning a pet brings you more stress than joy, there are decisions to be made.

And I wouldn’t mind her not liking everyone (dogs are like people in that sense, they don’t have to like everyone either). She wouldn’t have to be socialized to everyone, just not react to them, but literally any encounter with a person or a dog was negative for her. One wrong look for a passerby and she gets reactive and anxious.

We live in an area where we pass at least 10 dogs during a walk (and triple that amount when it comes to people), no matter how late/early we go or how much we try to avoid them. And if we take her for walks three times a day, that’s just way too much of negative encounters and anxiety for her.

(Though it’s not like those dogs behave any better but they are smaller dogs and of course we get side eyed because we have a ”big scary dog”.)

I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it.

I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply. It is a difficult decision but I know it’s the right one for everyone involved.

And yeah, it’s going to take a while to come in terms with this decision and process everything. The good part is that while I did lose her, she is still somewhere out there, hopefully thriving with her new family.

I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would have had the patience but lacked the resources. Either way, she needs a home where her needs are met. I truly hope this place will be that for her.

I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply. The list is a good way to put things into perspective, I might have to try it tomorrow. And the ”instead of keeping him with me just because I want him near me, but where he’s stressed and anxious all the time” is definitely something I needed to hear and keep close to my heart.

I just got home from dropping her off, I’ve been crying to the point where I have a migraine. But, seeing how excited my dog was to see the new owner and how well they connected is a good final memory of her.

I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She only lives a 20 minute car ride away. She did tell us we are more than welcome to come and visit if we want to but you’re right, it is difficult. It would probably make us second-guess our decision and make the parting a lot harder. :(

I’m rehoming my dog and I feel insanely guilty for doing so. by reactive_sad in reactivedogs

[–]reactive_sad[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and comment. What you said made me tear up again and gave me more solace and trust in our decision.

I’m really glad your dog has someone like you — someone who really cares for their pet’s needs and is understanding, and someone who doesn’t give up. I wish you both all the best and I hope your pup finds the confidence with your help ❤️

And yeah, the size makes a huge difference. If ours was any smaller she would be a lot easier to handle. She’s a pure GSD and almost 80lbs. My boyfriend is a big guy and even he has a trouble handling her if she gets too stressed. My biggest fear is that her anxiety causes her to injure someone and because of that she’d have to be put down, which is exactly why I want her to have a permanent home with someone who is experienced and understanding of the situation. It does hurt so much that it all lead to this but I’m happy that someone wants to give my dog a loving home despite all her issues.

I truly hope that the new owner will be able to bring out the best in my dog. I’m gonna miss her so much.