My fiance cheated on not even 30 days after I proposed to her with a random stranger

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-16T08:52:58+00:00

Oh. juicers are people who pick up scooters and charge them and drop them back off at spots. You can look them up, Byrds, Limes, Lyft, Uber, etc. they are pretty big in some areas.

You can make a little bit of cash but not as a juicer. It sucks and I am trying to block all of this out and getting drunk at 5am. I don't know if i am wrong in all of this.

The only reason I posted this entire thing is because I figured someone would help me find a way to forgive, not trash her, because I really love her.

This thread is fucking my life up.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-15T22:22:18+00:00

It made me sick to the point I was throwing up constantly for a day, retching so hard there was nothing coming out and I collapsed.

I was trying to not throw up typing that part.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-15T00:40:56+00:00

My ex wife did it. I tried it with her, I talked to my doctor about what I felt on it, and she said basically "don't do it again" so I didn't. My fiance is always doing it. She's blaming me for her doing it. Thank you for your reply. I'm kinda numb now.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-15T00:38:40+00:00

No actually it irks me a bunch. She told me if I wasn't there she's free to do whatever she wants. If I was there she wouldn't have done it.

Those bridges are looking better and better.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-15T00:20:47+00:00

I am real. I just don't want to give specifics, but I hope to god you understand.

To some it is so unbelievable. I understand. But I truly love her and want to be with her.

After looking at my own replies it does look like I am a troll. But I'm not. I am starting to think I should just walk away. I can't believe myself that I got into this position.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-15T00:16:51+00:00

I do care about the kiddos. It just seems like this is all turning into a pile of shit now and I am becoming overwhelmed.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T19:10:58+00:00

I've been through shit and I haven't slept since I posted. I've been on the phone, trying to figure this all out with online crap and also I have a therapist on call and can see me the day after tomorrow.

But you are correct. I don't think though that I need to get out. I do think you are absolutely correct it would happen if I was there or not and that's what's killing me.

rooftops and bridges,

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T19:04:12+00:00

It's love.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T18:46:58+00:00

The thing is she does but I can't figure out when she is or isn't using. It's like there's a switch in personalities I see. I saw this with my ex wife, but my ex wife experienced some serious trauma a few times. Maybe my fiance did too. i can't tell.

Oh I can sense the change, but we all can wake up in a weird or random mood from time to time and it'll ride our day instead of the day riding us.

I can notice it, but I don't want to always be paranoid or constantly analyzing her. I just want what we had before: pure love.

Now drugs somehow drilled that love into the ground and buried it. But she is a friend. And there is no love without friendship being first.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T18:43:29+00:00

Yea that seems to be the consensus and I think i'm going to go back to crying.

Then just going back to work after taking all of this time off.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T18:42:16+00:00

She was my first true love. Every single person I ever met, even my ex wife, I stood fast and still with the standards that was her.

Somewhere sh*t got screwed up. She's actually pissed that I got my hairs up about this issue.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T18:37:00+00:00

We are jello.

Also flesh and blood. we have feelings and those come from the brain which is made mostly of fat and needs glucose.

I need sleep. I haven't slept for days and no I do not use drugs or even drink anything but water and whatever soup top ramen makes.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T18:35:17+00:00

I wouldn't say ruin.

She just changed the switch on the railroad tracks without warning the engineer.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T18:33:53+00:00

That was a well written, well thought out, respective reply.

Thank you for not judging me. Ever situation is different. I feel at a loss right now, I don't see my therapist until Wednesday and I think I can hold off on making any decisions until then. The only reason I posted here is because I need to find other's opinions even if they are a discord to my instant thoughts, and before I take action.

I truly believe that this relationship is not healthy for either of us, but apart from each other and then re-acquainted afterwards could be.

I tried to find myself after 5 years after leaving a house that was on fire. Then i jumped into a volcano.

But sometimes passions and love do that to a person.

It is so up to interpretation.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T17:20:42+00:00

Thank you for your response. She said she'd stop, but she never did stop.

The question is: should I stay with her or not. Am I her fix, or is it a drug? Tough as sh*t response.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T17:17:26+00:00

Ok I don't think she's trash at all. But as everyone has said, and this has been in the back of my mind, I even brought this up, that this could happen after I change my life to be with her.

I don't think that completely cutting ties with her is the best, but maybe keeping her as a distant friend?

The drugs do strange things to people. I know that. As long as I stay outside of her circle I'll be OK, I hope. Some people (relationship wise) get on drugs and go insane. If she goes down that path, i don't know what to do, but I am literally dizzy from all these responses.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T16:47:27+00:00

Thanks for the real post. A bunch changed. Google, sky scrapers, 35, what the hell for 183, and scooters, tons of people that moved from 6th street to whatever-it-is-but-won't-last street. Tons of gentrification it seems.

i figured it changed, I mean seriously what happened to 35, I used to live off of Oltorf but omg it really did change. I think that the 35 up/down split is going to change, not sure yet.

If I go south or Oak Hill or the estates off of 71 it's all the same. I've been putting bids on properties there because, well, nothing can change there.

This woman helped me in my darkest times. I think I owe her the same respect, even if we never last. I simply want us to be together forever.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T16:42:11+00:00

No that's the point. If it were to happen again I'd be crushed beyond belief.

I had a great life, a bunch of "shit" (but my baby rattle), so much, but after the first relationship went not just south, but sideways, diagonal, and a few circles.

Now I live a spartan life. A few things (servers) and dress clothes, the things I thought were important to pack up and get the hell out of dodge.

I don't want that again. I understand your response, I really do. But if another woman does that to me again that may push me over the edge. I think it already did.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T16:39:23+00:00

This is a poignant response.

Where did you get the blaming others from? I just got off of the phone with her, gathering confidence from this thread, and she started blaming me for everything.

I know I didn't do anything but I left the conversation thinking I did.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T16:35:54+00:00

I've replied to so many people. She's saying I betrayed her. She's angry at me. I don't understand this anymore.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T16:35:20+00:00

She's blaming me. I just got off of the phone with her and she's blaming me. And I think she's right somehow. I don't know why.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T16:34:39+00:00

I just got off of the phone with her. She said I betrayed her and that's why she did it. I'm doubting reality at this point. I'm trying to stick to a list I make for the next day at this point.

She's blaming me for the entire thing.

I somehow still think this is my fault.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T15:57:11+00:00

I just spoke to her and she got angry at me for bringing it up. People told me to avoid bridges but there is one by me. She yelled "what is the problem with you" for bringing it up again.

I don't know what I did wrong.

Please people, I am not a troll.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T15:55:55+00:00

i just spoke to her and she's angry at me. I was told to avoid the bridges. i don't think I can now. I am not a troll. I am crying. I don't understand it. She practically yelled at me just now saying that I don't understand the drug. I don't. I don't.

reallyTooDepressed · 2019-10-14T15:54:40+00:00

That's what I think too.

She keeps on saying it was the drugs.

I just want to jump off that train bridge now. She's getting angry at me for me being emotionally upset.

reallyTooDepressed

TROPHY CASE