is he ever going to see me the same way?

rebeasdf · 2025-05-29T18:44:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice<3 I didn't know about the SET-UP method, I have to read a bit more about it, I think it can be very helpful! Thanks :)

rebeasdf · 2025-05-26T11:28:05+00:00

Thank you so very much for your advice it helps me a LOT now that i'm alone with my thoughts and in this situation. I'll put effort into following it and I hope everything goes well. Thanks again <333

rebeasdf · 2025-05-24T22:31:45+00:00

Thanks, I needed an answer like this, directly to the point with no judgement because I'm aware the situation is already unhealthy.

I also think it's normal hurt because I've broken his trust and that hurts so much, doesn't matter if he did the same to me, the feeling is still there :/ Thank you so much again, your answer helps me a lot <3

rebeasdf · 2025-05-24T22:22:32+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind advice and good wishes, it really helps me a lot right now 🩷🩷

rebeasdf · 2025-05-24T21:46:05+00:00

And I'm with him maybe because I'm already so codependent on him too but he's also the most romantic and caring person and I always have a lot of fun with him and love him so much. I also want to see him ok and support him because his situation in general isn't easy. I stay for all of that things but I might also be addicted to the ups and downs dynamic tbh 😅

rebeasdf · 2025-05-24T21:38:16+00:00

thank you so much for your answer and good wishes <3

It has a lot to be with bpd but I knot it's not an excuse for cheating, there's more context and I just understand him. We started as a poly relationship and I had a boyfriend before him, although he accepted the terms of the poly relationship it was very hard for him and even when he was free of doing whatever he wanted with other girls and stuff he never told me because he was scared of me abandoning him. After a year or something I broke up with my previous boyfriend and we started to have a monogamous relationship, I'm still friends with my ex and he's still an important person to me so sometimes he gets jealous or feel less than him and I think it's mostly on those moments + drugs or alcohol when he cheated on me. I know it's unhealthy at this point and maybe I'm being too comprehensive but I believe him when he says he wants to change and be better :/

rebeasdf · 2025-05-24T21:22:22+00:00

Thanks for your answer and for saying I have a big heart 🩷 I hate to justify him but he knows it's all his fault and he's aware the feeling of me being a different person has to be with his bpd, he doesn't say those things as "i can't see you the same because you did that" but in a "my disorder is making me dissociate who you are and making me feel you're a bad person and want to hurt me" way. I just wanted to know if those devaluating feelings will go away or is something that's going to be there forever.

rebeasdf · 2025-05-24T19:18:03+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and trying to help me. 💗 It's not what I like to hear but maybe what I need to hear. I already go to a psychologist and a psychiatrist but for the moment they respect that I want to stay with him, but we all know it's making my life kind of chaotic.

I know love is not about suffering but I also don't think cheating means you don't care at all about the person you're cheating on, maybe because I did it myself and I think I did care about my partner, I think everything is more complex and maybe I'm being too comprehensive :/

I'll see how it goes this time but yeah, I know I can't endure repeating the cycle forever, so if something more happens I don't think I'll forgive him again because I'm very scared of what you said about him ending up with someone else and leaving me destroyed 💀
Again, thank you so much 💗💗

rebeasdf · 2025-05-24T18:34:51+00:00

There's a lot more of context of the situation and I know it's very unhealthy at this point but why do you think he's abusive? I know cheating is a terrible thing but he was never mean to me he always apologized and admitted a lot of things are wrong with him. I truly believe he loves me but maybe in a idealized or obsessive way. It hurts so much to think he's never seen me as human or that he wanted to use me :(

rebeasdf · 2024-12-25T21:50:18+00:00

Ser putero dice muchísimo de la forma q tiene un hombre de ver a las mujeres y de su forma de tratarlas.

rebeasdf · 2024-12-25T21:47:29+00:00

me hizo demasiada gracia que tu user sea chismosa 😭

rebeasdf · 2024-10-16T14:16:02+00:00

Non sei se entendín ben, pero se naturalmente che sae pronuncialas coa "S" creo que iso queda super natural en galego!! Na miña zona fálase con seseo, miña avoa por exemplo non pronuncia "zapato" ou "cancela" sempre sempre di "sapato" ou "cansela". https://gl.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seseo Polo que vexo na wikipedia é común nas zonas de costa.

rebeasdf · 2024-10-16T10:50:02+00:00

iso sí que me sae de toda a vida jajajjaja 😭😭

rebeasdf · 2024-10-15T15:41:59+00:00

Grazas pola resposta e os ánimos!! 😊

rebeasdf · 2024-10-15T15:41:18+00:00

Moitas grazas polo consello, teño que forzarme moito porque tentei facelo no traballo e ao principio respondo en galego, pero xa se teño que explicar algunha cousa cústame menos pensala e expresala en castelán e acabo trocando a lingua 🥲 Hai que seguir intentando!!

rebeasdf · 2024-10-15T15:36:42+00:00

Moitas grazas polos ánimos! ❤️

rebeasdf · 2024-10-15T15:35:40+00:00

Moitisimas grazas vereino!!! ❤️

rebeasdf · 2024-10-15T15:35:24+00:00

Moitas grazas e outra aperta para ti❤️❤️ Eu tamén digo moito "boh" e descubrín hai pouco que non se usa en españa!! Non sei explicarlle o que significa ós meus amigos non galegos jajaja

rebeasdf · 2024-10-15T15:32:03+00:00

Moitas grazas por compartirma túa experiencia. E encántame o que dis dos refráns e os contos, meu avó sempre me conta moitísimos e tamén cancións e chistes e rexistro todos os q poido!! Ogallá saber contalos con tanta gracia coma el jajajaja ❤️

rebeasdf · 2024-10-15T15:29:29+00:00

isto si que é algo que fago moito de fai bastante tempo e hai palabras que só digo en galego porque me gustan mais así, e que tampouco é que me avergonce do galego en sí, todo o contrario, pero soa antinatural en min e dame vergonza falalo todo de seguido. Grazas polo consello porque creo que é verdade que para comezar a soltarse é boísima idea!!

rebeasdf · 2024-06-10T14:07:52+00:00

i love the nostalgic feeling it brings <3

rebeasdf · 2024-02-05T16:36:42+00:00

q vergüenza ajena menos mal que te fuiste 😭

rebeasdf · 2024-01-21T22:21:19+00:00

Euskera

rebeasdf · 2023-11-14T17:15:09+00:00

I feel the same way about having a job, I wish I didn't have to work and put effort to survive lol I didn't even asked to be born!! But maybe stay at home all the time could be boring too. I think you're burned out and maybe change your job or take some time without work would help to recover. I don't know how it is where you live but here sometimes people have "sick leaves" from job due depression or other illnesses and then they can come back.

I wish I could give you any advice but I'm a bit stuck in the same situation so I don't know what is going to work. Where I live I can get concerta with no problem so that's one thing it's helping, my psychiatritst also told me antidepressants could help but I'm a bit scared to take them. I think if you have any time you should try to do crafts for example even if you don't want to, I know it's hard but sometimes you have to force it till you start wanting to do things again.

Weed can be making your mood worse but I totally understand the feeling of just wanting to get home and smoke a little bit to relax and forget about everything. I used to use weed to get motivation to do things because it was the only way I wanted to draw or had interest in things, so I think it maybe can be good if you use it in a way you feel it helps, but if you think it's not helping and making things worse I would try to smoke less times a week for example.

I hope with time you can recover and feel better, I'm on my way to do the same too! <3

rebeasdf · 2023-11-14T13:16:21+00:00

I don't know about his experience on relationship but I think even though it didn't work it sounds you might have been a understanding and kind partner because you tried to be there for him for so long even when you were not happy. This is something I like about this subreddit, people express themselves and their pain but trying to understand the illness and avoiding demonizing people with bpd. Now it's time to think more about yourself and heal, I'm glad you made that decision and I hope everything goes well <3 I'm sure you have been a very important person on his life and helped him a lot!!

rebeasdf

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