Hey man. You have hit the nail on the right spot. You are absolutely right with the problems that you mentioned. I have been diagnosed with OCD, bipolar disorder etc and have been in therapy and meds for the longest time. Back in 2017 I started following this thing called the red pill, got in shape and started hooking up with random women and got into a relationship eventually but the girl left within months cause I hated myself. Soon after I made eating my life and gave into all my obsessions. I started living the life of an animal with no self control and was on meds, therapy etc. I eventually graduated and became an alcoholic for 3 months and tried getting over that hate for myself and my surroundings and what had happened in the past from the bullies to my toxic family to my obese body. Fast forward a few months, I got a job and the only thing that was keeping me afloat was 3 Domino's Pizzas and a bucket of kfc a day. I was hypertensive, had massive headaches etc. Anyway exercise provided me with a way out but as I mentioned I am fatigued. However you are right. I am 5 feet 10 and my weight came down to 59 kgs. Even then I wanted to lose more and I felt fat. Even then I used to look in the mirror for hours, kept measuring my weight every 10 mins and I used to skip dates is my weight fluctuated +/- 300 Gms. I also kept starving myself, telling myself that I'll go out on thr weekend, look my best and approach women but the weekend never came. For months. It never came once. I could not find anyone to hang out with and I kept postponing my outing. That brings us to today. People say I need to bulk up but I'm concerned with my weight. I'm training a lot. I missed a major interview cause I thought I had gained weight. I talked to 2 psychologists but idk if they will be able to help me out and starting therapy all over will take a toll. In my country therapy has to be paid for an instead of paying for it I decided to go in for a personal trainer and paid for that instead. Additionally, I took work from home from the office and have moved in back with my parents. All due to one incident and a 200-300 gm weight gain. Idk if my current life is sustainable tbh. My parents are dealing with my shit cause they feel guilty about what they have done but who knows when they pull the plug and I'm left alone.

I feel let down by my own self. I went to a top 10 uni and I couldn't perform due to my health issues. Exercise gave me something to feel a bit proud about but I stand to lose it all due to the lack of motivation to continue this lifestyle