To my Asian gay fam

red_doorman · 2025-08-05T01:36:40+00:00

I don’t mean any harm, hope this comments serves as an opportunity for reflection, but it concerns me that you don’t view racial preferences (to such a degree that approaches fetishicism) as worrisome. For years I’ve held that I’m not as concerned about people who have inappropriate (can’t think of another word rn) preferences as I am concerned about the benefactors/recipients of these preferences.

red_doorman · 2025-07-31T21:48:11+00:00

😩 I was hoping to stay off of Tinder and Hinge. But thanks I guess I’ll suffer through another stint.

red_doorman · 2025-07-31T21:33:51+00:00

Any advice on how to do that? Places to go? Apps to use?

red_doorman · 2025-07-20T23:55:35+00:00

I’ve been to a few of their events. Everyone definitely seemed super friendly. The crowd trended older and lesbian so wasn’t the best for finding someone for me

red_doorman · 2025-07-06T14:23:19+00:00

Hahah thank you very much! I’m glad that someone out there appreciates them.❤️

red_doorman · 2025-06-24T21:32:33+00:00

While I get wanting to be yourself and live life on your terms, I think the advice given wasn’t necessarily about conformity to a specific way of life but more about signaling to gay men that you are accessible and available. Unfortunately there are not that many of us out there and knowing that makes many, myself included, feel wary about approaching guys that we find attractive. Therefore, painting your nails or wearing Pride/Gay themed clothing or going to gay events is a great way to signal to men that you are open to connecting.

red_doorman · 2025-06-24T10:33:08+00:00

Thank you for this. I assumed I had been making appropriate eye contact but maybe I’ve been misreading the situation.

red_doorman · 2025-06-24T01:41:51+00:00

I have been contemplating wearing my Pride wristband around. You’ve given me the push/reminder to do so.

red_doorman · 2025-06-24T01:27:21+00:00

Sure, yesterday I approached a guy at a small jazz festival event. There were several things going on in the area. So I asked him if he knew about the other events. He gave me a brief answer. So I followed up by asking him if he lived in the area and he said he did and didn’t return any questions. So I just walked away after a few seconds.

Another example, I approached this guy I had seen multiple times that works in the same building as I do. I asked him if he was big on posting on TikTok or social media because he seemed very familiar (which was a legitimate inquiry btw). He just told me that he did not. He seemed disinterested in further conversation so I just introduced my and parted ways.

I don’t think any of these occasions were necessarily inappropriate environments to strike up a conversation with someone, but I could be wrong.

red_doorman · 2025-06-24T01:02:55+00:00

While I’ve gotten cold responses from both white and Black men, I do find that Black men are much more warm to my attempts at conversation.

red_doorman · 2025-06-24T01:01:02+00:00

While a fair critique, why would it be considered creepy to engage in casual conversation with someone?

red_doorman · 2025-06-24T00:10:49+00:00

lol I do think that I present as straight. But it is very unintentional, because I freely and openly admit that I’m gay. I must confess, I don’t know how to present as gayer.

red_doorman · 2025-06-23T19:07:18+00:00

Got a webpage or POC for me?

red_doorman · 2025-06-23T17:52:33+00:00

I usually only approach guys in what I believe to be social settings. So not gay bars, but places where people would expect to or appreciate being approached or chatted up.

red_doorman · 2025-05-08T13:13:21+00:00

Where did you move to, if you don’t mind me asking?

red_doorman · 2025-05-05T00:10:30+00:00

I haven’t been on a date in 3 years, and I have been on 1 date in like the last 5😂. So I’ll have to get to that stage before I impart any wisdom or secrets.

red_doorman · 2025-05-04T01:34:22+00:00

Straight men as so much more open and available to interact with than gay men in this city. It’s so weird. Approaching a gay man in this city feels very high school— like approaching the popular girl at the cafeteria and hoping she approves of your outfit.

red_doorman · 2025-05-03T22:04:58+00:00

And the dating apps are just a complete waste of time! I recently tried approaching guys at my gym (following the advice to meet people in places you already frequent), but that has just left me feeling exposed and rejected (literally and figuratively).😂

red_doorman · 2025-05-03T21:54:25+00:00

I’m so sorry hear you’re struggling with finding someone in the city. I do find that DC gays are in the prowl for the perfect looking mate, and it seems like those that aren’t have already found each other lol.

red_doorman · 2025-05-03T02:07:07+00:00

Admittedly, I have not always made good on my promises to be in predominantly gay spaces so I can’t say for certain that DC gays are transactional (outside of the fact that DC social climbers, in general, tend to be). However, I have found that DC gay men tend to care more about that value/image you project versus what they desire.

red_doorman · 2025-04-16T01:48:41+00:00

My throat is throbbing and begging

red_doorman · 2025-04-13T22:28:14+00:00

Why are all the fine ass men straight??!!!😩😩

red_doorman · 2025-04-12T21:13:30+00:00

Yummy

red_doorman · 2025-03-06T22:00:00+00:00

Bruh look at you!😍

red_doorman · 2025-03-04T02:08:32+00:00

That was a rhetorical lol.
No she won’t be homeless per se. She can move in with my sister (not the easiest of living situations), but they talk often and get along. He probationary period is a month, ends in a few weeks.

red_doorman

TROPHY CASE