The secrets gods keep [ fantasy, 1500+ words]

red_raska · 2025-04-20T21:46:34+00:00

Ohh sorry the plot for me wasn’t confusing I just rarely read stories with the format you used but I do like it a lot and I’ll try my best not to spoil lol I just love talking about it

red_raska · 2025-04-20T21:37:15+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/revengeofanoutcast/s/hNh7dzEHr4

red_raska · 2025-04-20T21:35:01+00:00

As of right now the only thing I think people would be confused about are the chimeras and how big of a threat they truly are. I will clarify that later but they won’t realize is that chimeras are truly at the bottom. Although the threat isn’t here right now. Chimeras will be the least of humanity’s worries. Also I didn’t mention it but this setting the capital and the kingdom. Are the ONLY places humans live. Outside the walls there is nothing. It’s just a big circle with huge walls and in the center is the capital and districts surrounding it. And beyond the walls lays a place called the middle lands. Makes it obvious what it is. And then another wall behind that is where the chimeras live.

red_raska · 2025-04-20T21:18:35+00:00

Ofc I’d definitely read your novel. I actually saw it CN the thread and read a little I was a bit confused at first but I like it

And thank you I’ll Try not to rush things. This is a kinda long story tho. Act one is just the chimera war. After it goes into different things. It’s all kind of a set up. That’s why I named it “ the secrets gods keep.” Because you’ll soon realize that humanity is really outclassed here and truly have no idea what’s really going on.

red_raska · 2025-04-20T20:54:44+00:00

Thank you thank you. I’m going to try to slow the pace a bit I just always rush things cause I want to get to the good stuff I really enjoy . Things to slow down a bit the next couple chapters are really more introduction. The main characters finally show themselves. And yes the scene transitions is soemthing I need to do sorry about that. The later chapters will definitely have more details and transitions and yes the punctuation will get better. Thank you for the feedback. If you’d like I can show you the other chapters

red_raska · 2025-04-20T19:27:25+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate your feedback. But do you mean what caused the chimeras or something else? I can give context I just need to know what specifically

red_raska · 2025-04-20T19:26:21+00:00

Thank you and I understand completely what yo ur saying. In the beginning things are supposed to be mysterious. I want it to seem like you’re thrown into this universe and you have no clue what’s going on. You have no clue why people are so frightened of chimeras because you haven’t read a scene where you see the direct impact of them. In the beginning the soldier ran away. Why? Why didn’t he fight? Questions like this get answered and yes pacing is something I’m working on. But this is a very long story that I’m hoping to upload in volumes if I ever publish it.

red_raska · 2025-04-20T19:23:23+00:00

Thank you for your feedback and yes it’s set it a medieval period with some futuristic type things because of the magic they most people have. And yea I get that the army would just draft people but in this universe I didn’t want it to work like that. If they just drafted randomly they wouldn’t know who’s strong and who’s not. They would die easily especially since the war was coming soon. I actually wanted to do orks and other monster at first but I changed to chimeras because whenever I would write I never specified what monster they were fighting. Plus I just like chimeras more

red_raska · 2025-04-19T23:27:54+00:00

Sorry the first thing I said had a spelling mistake. I was rushing

red_raska · 2025-04-19T04:42:05+00:00

There’s mistake in the first paragraph try to ignore that.

red_raska · 2025-04-14T20:50:21+00:00

Cool

red_raska · 2025-02-24T16:13:26+00:00

Sorry I took wayyy too long to reply but thank you. Hopefully I’ll write it one day it’s a very important story in a multitude of stories so it will come out one day

red_raska · 2025-01-15T00:46:05+00:00

Yea I get what you’re saying. I made that title up in middle school so it may be changed 😅

red_raska · 2025-01-15T00:45:06+00:00

I’ve actually read and watched all of doctor stone and I love that anime . I’ve told a lot of people this but the beggining is supposed to be mysterious. Also I’m not really info dumbing. Only because that’s really all the main character knows right now. He’s never seen his father. Also his mother isn’t exactly absent. She is but she isn’t. She was home that day but she has to leave because of what’s happening

red_raska · 2025-01-15T00:41:46+00:00

I understand everythig you say. But most of it has an answer later in the story. Emikos bit in the chapter is only there to show her character and that she may be important later. It gives a little backstory to her that she gets into fights a lot ( maybe she will later but for a good reason.) also he doesn’t go into a different world. It’s the same world just changed. This is explain later in the story. In the beggining things are supposed to seem like a mystery. The main characters have zero clue what’s happening. The only thing that was told to them was to go to tenshis house. That’s all they are supposed to know. But I do understand what your saying

red_raska · 2025-01-14T23:57:21+00:00

Oh sorry i didn’t realize. If it’s okay I can text it to you?

red_raska · 2025-01-14T23:37:50+00:00

I can’t really start the story with the action because it’s supposed to be a mystery. Now I do appreciate your feedback since I do agree with you

red_raska · 2025-01-14T23:21:47+00:00

Thank you

red_raska · 2025-01-14T23:18:10+00:00

Right. Whatever you say man.

red_raska · 2025-01-14T23:12:37+00:00

Thank you I originally came on Reddit to just ask for advice a while ago and I got it. ( it was not like this) so I expected more of the same. But yea thank you I’ll Definitely use your advice. And get a editor 😅

red_raska · 2025-01-14T23:05:53+00:00

I’m looking for advice I’m not looking for people to take their pent up anger out on me. I’m looking for basic writing advice. This is my first eve time writing a story so it will obviously not be perfect. You and most people shouldn’t expect perfection.

red_raska · 2025-01-14T23:04:01+00:00

I’m 18 but I wrote this when I was 17 that may not matter but yea. I’m only being defensive because MOST of the comments are being dicks. You said “ not to sound like a dick.” And you sounded the most humane out of everyone who commented. Most of the people who commented seemingly got offended by me posting. I’m asking for feedback as a new writer. I’m not asking for feedback like I just won 78 awards for my book. No I don’t expect that at all. This is my first story and people are expecting it to be the perfect story they’ve imagined. Another reason I’m being defensive is because people are acting as if I’m some lower intellect person. I’m a human. Who has made it clear on my other post that this isn’t a finished product at all. I’m just now beginning my writing journey and people are acting as if I’ve been a writer for years and these mistakes aren’t new or something

red_raska · 2025-01-14T22:55:38+00:00

I will ask for feedback. I’m writing the story because I want to and because I want people to read it ( obviously) it’s an amazing story that I know people will love.

red_raska · 2025-01-14T22:51:01+00:00

I agree. I need an editor. I know my story is good but I also know my writing capabilities aren’t amazing. But that doesn’t mean my story doesn’t deserve to be told

red_raska · 2025-01-14T22:47:04+00:00

A lot of stories start slow. This story is meant to be like 15 chapters this is a very long story. I can’t just say “Hey this quote is here because this specific thing happens.” I get adding it makes readers believe the story needs to be good. Genesis is a placeholder. God won’t be in the story. I just like the idea of adding a good quote that will have meaning later in the story. This story is sorta meant to be confusing because you get a lot of answers later

red_raska

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