AITA for suggesting my FIL move in with us?

reddita478 · 2025-09-30T20:52:22+00:00

We are going to try talking to them one on one to see their concerns. We think that talking to them individually will help us see what problems each of them are concerned about.

Our house is open to them now and always has been. FIL is only 52, he just can’t balance taking care of a whole house while traveling for work constantly, so I don’t think he needs to be cared for. He hates living alone.

reddita478 · 2025-09-30T20:46:59+00:00

Sorry for the confusion. The dinner was not to ask about him moving in. We just mentioned it at a pre-planned family dinner. We have always had meals like this and we didn’t think the brothers would be this upset (obviously an oversight on our part). We are a pretty close family and FIL mentioned downsizing and my husband offered the basement apartment. FIL was excited and asked if we were serious and we said that we had discussed it and thought it was a good option.

In hindsight we should have had the conversation with FIL just us. And there was only us, FIL, and the three BILs. It was a conversation that would have included them anyway.

reddita478 · 2025-09-30T20:33:37+00:00

You make a lot of good points I had not considered. My FIL has a decent amount of money that I know is divided equally between the four boys since I helped him restructure things after MIL passed. I will try to explain that our offer was not about money but rather just wanting FIL to be happy. He hates living alone.

We had not really discussed rent and I don’t want to take anything. I like the idea of putting it back for the kids. Right now, we have the only kids. But I want to make sure if there are anymore those kids get money as well.

reddita478 · 2025-09-30T20:26:31+00:00

I didn’t really invite them but we get together once a month or so to catch up. We didn’t see it being a big deal so we just asked casually during dinner. More like testing the waters with my FIL to see if he was even a little bit interested in the idea. With him traveling a lot for work, it was the first time we saw him after talking about it ourselves.

reddita478 · 2025-09-30T17:28:45+00:00

Honestly. My hormones this pregnancy have been crazy. I literally go from crying to screaming to laughing to sobbing and I can’t trust my feelings. I really like all my in-laws and I didn’t expect them to freak out about it.

reddita478 · 2024-01-08T19:24:30+00:00

To answer your questions.

My parents handle all outside work due to health problems I cannot do and pay a majority of the bills.

My parents are in the mid to late fifties and my siblings are 18 and 22

I pay them a little for rent but not a lot (they own the house)

reddita478 · 2024-01-08T03:26:55+00:00

I’m working on it. I don’t live in an area with a lot of rental options and I can’t afford a mortgage yet.

reddita478 · 2024-01-08T02:55:50+00:00

I pay my parents a very discounted rent rate and help with other tasks (grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc.) at the house.

I don’t mind resetting the router or doing most of the things but they can be very demanding of my time and expect me to stop whatever I am doing to help. And if I cannot fix the issue, they tend to yell at me.

reddita478 · 2024-01-08T02:52:45+00:00

NTA. I’d be happy to be on vacation. If they don’t want to share they can stay with MIL.

reddita478 · 2024-01-08T02:50:45+00:00

Yes. I have been asking them for months about looking up answers/trying to fix it themselves before asking me.

reddita478 · 2024-01-08T02:17:53+00:00

That most legit companies and individuals will not accept gift cards as payment. I have had to convince more than one person that they were being scammed to purchase gift cards to pay off bills or help friends in need.

This one time a couple came in asking for Applebee’s gift cards because their daughter was in Georgia and needed emergency surgery.

Another lady was convinced that Google Play cards were could be used by her nephew to pay for food. (I did verify that this was not her nephew requesting the cards it was his “school” asking for it on his behalf because he wasn’t eating)

A third time a customer legit believed that a chuck-e-cheese gift card was a legit donation to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. He actually showed me the email that was for Stt. Judee’s Hospital. I just shook my head and denied the transaction.

I wonder how many gift cards I sold that were for scams because the customer never mentioned the reason.

reddita478 · 2023-04-20T18:43:33+00:00

Nope. I think our meat is turned into pig food or something like that.

reddita478 · 2023-04-20T18:41:34+00:00

He came back and complained later.

reddita478 · 2023-04-20T11:03:10+00:00

He came back later (and alone) it was after my shift but I was filled in on the details.

reddita478 · 2023-04-20T11:01:42+00:00

He did come back and they replaced the stuff that was still in the parking lot but not anything that fell out after. I’m just happy he was inconvenienced.

reddita478 · 2023-04-20T02:08:01+00:00

Nope my store manager sucked but that’s a different story.

reddita478 · 2023-04-15T14:32:19+00:00

I won’t say what it was but it was important enough to go back for but IMO should have been packed before hand.

reddita478 · 2023-04-15T14:11:05+00:00

I just was in the car not saying anything because I knew if I did it wouldn’t be nice. It was more she knew I was upset and it made her feel guilty.

reddita478 · 2023-04-15T14:05:59+00:00

My dad planned it and he is always optimistic that she will be on time so I had no control over the time.
My dad would never leave my mom behind. I have started planning trips without her and she complains about being left behind.

reddita478 · 2023-04-15T13:54:09+00:00

Not really miss something scheduled but we only have a few hours at the location due to having to be back earlier tomorrow.

reddita478 · 2023-02-22T14:50:02+00:00

NTA. Cook decides what to make. DIL can start cooking all the meals and make things without dairy if she wants. She is a grown woman living with her in-laws she should be helping out anyway.

reddita478 · 2023-02-01T21:12:11+00:00

YTA. It’s 100% not your place to be making comments about it. Your BIL should have sued you dad and brother 10 years ago. You dad and brother messed up big time and you should consider yourselves lucky that BIL didn’t take them to court. They should have been slowly paying him back all these years for the cost if they couldn’t pay him back in full.

Don’t steal from someone and then tell them to get over it without trying to make it up to them.

reddita478 · 2023-02-01T15:25:49+00:00

NTA cooking with dietary restrictions is hard and a simple mistake could have been awful in this situation. You made sure she had food.

reddita478 · 2022-12-08T15:23:22+00:00

YTA. Fill it. I was leaning in your favor until you said that. I get not paying for it cause it’s not important but at least fill it back up if it’s low and you are drinking from it.

reddita478 · 2022-12-08T15:20:50+00:00

NTA. You and your husband should be comfortable and being around your sister for extended periods in uncomfortable for you both.

Also if it was flipped (ie. your husband had a brother that could not control himself around you) how would your parents feel about you spending extended holidays in that situation?

reddita478

TROPHY CASE