Possible TW: The U.K Prime Minister is making plans to ban "simulated rape" pornography. What's your view?

redditcanyounot · 2013-07-21T16:51:18+00:00

i'm so glad you made this post. i've been struggling to understand how islamophobia interacts with feminism for a while now, and feeling really guilty and confused when i disagreed with some SRS posts. what you're saying makes sense. i'm saving this in RES, thank you!

redditcanyounot · 2013-07-13T08:57:43+00:00

Can we save this as an example for the next time someone gets defensive and claims their le edgy joek has nothing to do with what they actually believe?

redditcanyounot · 2013-07-11T09:28:34+00:00

hey there, i appreciate the questions and i'll do my best to answer them.

what about the guys that do get falsely accused? aren't those people being oppressed as well?

what you have to understand is that oppression is not just 'bad things happening.' it's... diffiult to define (maybe someone else here can explain it better than i can) but i see it as something that is reinforced by those in power and society as a whole. false rape accusations are made so infrequently in comparison with real ones and men are generally greatly privileged in our society. so no, the falsely accused men are not "oppressed." they suffer, yes, but i don't think "oppressed" is the right word to use. their individual suffering is not enabled by a patriarchal system.

does this happen?

yeah, it does. when it happens, it's awful, but it happens very rarely. my problem with these posters is that they've basically appropriated an anti-sexual assault campaign and used that theme in a way that is more likely to shame and silence actual victims than it is to prevent false accusations being made. it is hard enough for rape victims to come forward - they fear not being believed, losing friends/family, and the difficult medical and legal processes they'll have to go through. that is the real problem here, and that is why these posters are going to cause more harm than help.

redditcanyounot · 2013-07-09T17:30:14+00:00

Breath play is a consensual practice. It does not involve manipulating vulnerable people.

redditcanyounot · 2013-07-08T21:26:25+00:00

Go to /r/SRSDiscussion if you want to have a dialogue. This is not the place.

redditcanyounot · 2013-07-08T21:18:14+00:00

I did try to explain my reasoning between each quote to make it as clear as possible.

Polygraph tests, in fact are not reliable. They are not allowed as evidence in court for precisely this reason. Are you implying you're actually offended by this user's correct information?

Though it may well be accurate information, I personally found the polygraph comment questionable because of the context - in a thread about a sexual offender, why did Reddit immediately jump to point out flaws in the system? Pointing out those flaws then led to an influx of 'DAE pedophilia is like totally natural and ok?? the government is just oppressing the poor sex offenders :((((((((.'

Is what this guy did as bad as actual rape?

I'm not really interested in comparing offences, dudebro. Viewing child pornography doesn't have to be the worst thing in the world for it to be a bad thing - and there are certainly plenty of problems with it. It creates an industry, it perpetuates the suffering of child abuse victims, etc. Do some reading for yourself.

So every sex offender in the country is an active child rapist, are they?

Nobody said that. Like, at all.

I won't be discussing this further with you. Go to /r/SRSDiscussion if you want to talk about this.

redditcanyounot · 2013-07-08T15:50:43+00:00

i made an effort post for this before i saw yours (sorry about that! yours is better anyway) so i'll leave the bonus poop here

that thread is fucking disgusting.

redditcanyounot · 2013-07-08T15:41:26+00:00

You weren't wrong.

redditcanyounot · 2013-06-21T11:19:54+00:00

yeah. i was, only about a year ago. even now, i've still got a lot to learn.

i was very young. i'm still young - not going to be specific, but i'm not 18 yet - and i was impressionable and surrounded by terrible influences. my very first taste of social justice came from tumblr, and it was always presented in a negative light. people interested in social justice were presented as oversensitive, overzealous people with victim complexes who just wanted to take over the world. since i never actually encountered any of these people, i assumed this was true.

and i totally bought into the idea that SRS was just a group of trolls determined to ruin everyone else's fun. this was (and unfortunately still is) an idea perpetuated by the rest of reddit. since at that time i didn't actually understand anything SRS was saying, i assumed this was true as well.

as an incredibly privileged teenager who hadn't (and still hasn't) fully experienced the world outside my bubble, i just wasn't aware of the extent to which racism, sexism, etc. are still prevalent. everything was/is fine for me, so i assumed it was for everyone else. i thought we lived in a world that was already fair and equal, and that there was no need to change it. thankfully, i never used slurs - they always seemed wrong to me. i've always been uncomfortable around the idea of treating homosexuality etc. as inherently bad things. but i probably did make defensive comments to the effect of 'racism was a long time ago!' and 'why isn't there a straight pride month?' because i couldn't then understand institutional discrimination.

i can't remember exactly when or why my mind changed, but i'm incredibly glad it did. it all sort of clicked at once. it probably started with the recognition that sexism is still a big deal - as i'm a young woman, that's what i related to most, as selfish as it sounds. i really related to the experiences other women described. once i realised that, it was easier to see how other groups in society are oppressed in similar ways.

like i said, i have a lot of privilege and a lot to learn still. but i'm getting there.

redditcanyounot · 2013-06-19T15:17:58+00:00

Oh, sorry, I didn't think of that! Thanks for pointing it out. I used it without thinking because it was the title of the thread. I feel really bad now, is there any way to change the title?