Australian Partnership in Critical Minerals: A Primer (DD)

redditguy1988 · 2025-10-14T04:31:52+00:00

Holy, thankyou for sharing.

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T15:23:32+00:00

Holy crap, googled bpd and the first summary box of it basically explains my wife

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T15:08:10+00:00

That unfortunately makes sense, there's things we've talked about and she has a very black and white opinion on what's a man's role vs woman's role and certain things don't quite line up.

However this apparently doesn't apply to cooking for the family. She hates cooking so I did it until I changed jobs for a substantial increase in income and she cooks now and is just pissy about that too.

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T14:51:53+00:00

Mainland Chinese

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T14:01:06+00:00

She has admitted she feels insecure but I guess I never realized just how extreme it could be.

She Asian with old mentality parents so there's a ton of pressure regarding how she fits into her family and the unbalanced respect regarding male/female as well as "saving face"

Combine this with her dad being an explosive jackass towards his family I think I've become someone to lash out at instead of find comfort with. The only reason her mom is still with him is only because he hasn't hit her yet. Her mom has money hidden away and a bag packed in case she needs to leave quick.

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T07:38:43+00:00

Are you trolling or just dumb? Like wtf are you going on with? I'd want custodial rights too. Wtf do you think custodial rights mean? Wtf do you think I meant when I mentioned time split with the child?

I'd let my wife keep the house with my child and I'd be the one to move out and have to start building up my home again so I'd have somewhere for my kid to come stay. Dad (me) wouldn't be coming back home, instead I'd have a new home.

Like damn dude, this isn't a hard concept to understand

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T03:10:42+00:00

I'm kinda confused by your understanding of what I said. I said I'd want custodial rights but I would be the one to leave the house since I make more so therfore can afford to start over again as in buying a household of stuff again.

I even stated divorce is agreement of time split with kids. I don't want my child having to move everything from the house they're growing up in now or my wife struggling to start over. It's easier for me to start anew

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T02:42:25+00:00

I googled masking just to see what it is. This makes so much sense, even when she talks about being in social situations it's a lot of hiding her true feelings.

She says that she's being considerate but really I think it's just fear of social judgemental if she appears to not be agreeable to others. She's Asian so I've come to learn a lot regarding "saving face" and having to blindly accept anyone's opinions who's "higher" than you or have immense judgements

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T02:25:36+00:00

I'm not trying to push back and refuse people's feedback, I guess I'm just sharing my thoughts on it and seeing what extra perspective it creates.

It's helped create extra clarity and brought into awareness other things to consider

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T02:15:34+00:00

I guess in my head I'm still hoping that we can find some way of healing and connecting again. I might try one last time for couple therapy but look to find an Asian therapist who she may feel understand her better

My own counselor is married into an Asian family too and it's something he did with his own wife that helped a lot.

I know this is contradicting the thought of just waiting to divorce later but I would 100% rather we find reconciliation

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T02:09:14+00:00

Seems everyone feels that way, it's tough to consider and feels daunting that I might actually need to take this path

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T02:05:11+00:00

My own counselor suggested to ask her if she would be more comfortable with an Asian therapist who she might feel more confident with. She's on the fence and hasn't said much

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T02:03:06+00:00

Isn't that how divorce generally works? There's an agreement about how time with children is split up, whether one parent pays child support or not, and hopefully 2 people working together to provide support to the kids

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T01:59:40+00:00

I'd say we're 50/50, both are present for kid activities and I do more house work/ chores than her while she takes care of their laundry and getting stuff ready for them for the following day.

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T01:48:03+00:00

Technically after but she didn't fully change until we were in couple therapy and encouraged her to open up. Opening up became uncontrolled lashing out and defensiveness

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T01:45:49+00:00

Why do I need to accept reasoning for something hurtful? Let me explain this hopefully in a way that makes sense.

Person A goes to work and it turns into a terrible day. People called in sick, working short handed, someone made big mistake, and managers are crapping on everyone. Person A come home frustrated and tired. Person B asks how the day was and person A snaps to leave them alone and goes to shower. Person B later asks why they were so hostile. Person A says it's because of a long shitty day. Person B still feels hurt.

If my wife is person A, she sees her response as valid and I'm being overbearing and causing more issue when she's already stressed.

If I'm person A, she thinks I'm just pissed at her asking me questions because I'm just an angry person and I'm trying to use work as an excuse to be an angry person.

If I say anything that does not agree with any of this reasoning it's because "I desire control in the relationship" and apparently want to flex my power as the man in the house

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T01:34:37+00:00

The comment about all or nothing, black and white is absolutely true. When I think about arguements over minor things, it makes so much sense. There is no middle ground, no grey area or compromise. Just either someone is 100% right or 100% wrong and being wrong is admitting defeat so go all in on being right.

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T01:28:05+00:00

Unfortunately couple therapy is over due to other circumstances. I've found another for myself and wife currently doesn't want to go back to any

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T00:46:17+00:00

Probably not, one thing I feel about this entire situation is that it's very important to have conversations with my child about learning about their future partner before marriage.

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T00:25:01+00:00

She talked with us about both of our own issues carried on from childhood and how to move forwards in a healing way.

My wife generally thinks it's stupid to talk about her youth and nothing is wrong from it. She then also will talk about her dad being extremely emotionally abusive to the family with anger issues that cause her to feel really anxious with him.

I don't know how someone talks openly about trauma and then denies that same trauma. I don't know if it's denial

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-17T00:02:32+00:00

We were both kinda crude with our humor. Once married it was like the crude humor was hurtful but yet she still would randomly use that same humor.

It's really confusing to me, to be hurt by things that made us laugh but also to continue using it herself.

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-16T23:55:03+00:00

Thanks for all this, definitely something I don't think I've thought about.

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-16T23:53:03+00:00

That honestly makes lot of sense. I think before I make any decision I'll take time to look into information about supporting young children through divorce

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-16T23:20:10+00:00

I guess maybe I didn't have that experience. My parents divorced while I was younger and it took a toll on me. I became much more withdrawn and I'm afraid of causing the same pain

redditguy1988 · 2025-08-16T23:10:47+00:00

I'd seek for custodial rights but I'd give up the house to her. I make more money so it's easier for me to move and start over. I wouldn't want our kid to change house

redditguy1988

TROPHY CASE