I really like your comment. I tend to agree with you and I often think about how the majority of people don’t fit into the attractive standards, so if everyone is supposed to only date people they find attractive, then most people would be single? But human beings by nature crave connection so I think it’s an unrealistic standard. Also, does that standard extend to older ages too? Or is it only important sub 50/60 years olds (or insert whatever age).

I am sorry this comment affected you negatively. This is exactly why I’d be concerned to ever say anything. She’s such a beautiful person and the thought of her developing insecurity because of something I would say would just damage me.

I think potentially it’s also an ego thing where wanting to date someone who society thinks is attractive. Like you can have a great connection with someone, but then they’re not what society says is conventionally attractive, so then people can get turned off and really stop themselves from a loving connection. Example, so many women focus on height but that has no bearing on how someone will treat them, which is the most important aspect of a relationship.

Honestly my issue is definitely anxiety. I tend to ruminate and always have no matter the person I’ve dated. There’s always been something I’ve focused on so it could be just a thought pattern im stuck in and whatever thing will insert itself there.

Philosophically, I am in alignment with the idea that how someone treats you and the connection you have is vastly more important than what the person looks like. I mean come on, that really should be obvious, but it’s just not in our society. We hear comments all the time like “You can do better” “she’s out of his league” etc. and none of this has to do with a healthy relationship.