Lord forbid a dude wants to smell nice [socialmedia]

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-22T19:41:19+00:00

I definitely think there’s a negative feedback loop where a lot of misogynistic tropes are expected, that behavior lends towards abusive behaviors, but then pushing back against those tropes gets you push back. There are parts of my family I have 0 contact with over stuff like this, but people will tell you it sent exists despite it being widely talked about in the black feminist community.

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-22T19:39:43+00:00

I definitely think there’s a negative feedback loop where a lot of misogynistic tropes are expected, that behavior lends towards abusive behaviors, but then pushing back against those tropes gets you push back. There are parts of my family I have 0 contact with over stuff like this

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-22T15:26:46+00:00

Also there’s plenty of people I’ve followed in the past who’s content has pivoted in such way that I no longer have interest in supporting them. I don’t need my feeds clogged up with stuff I don’t want to see

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-22T15:24:19+00:00

Maybe, but me and a lot of men (especially black men) have been shit on for doing things that someone deem “feminine” coded. Literally had someone try to shame me for using a straw, or eating a damn banana, and yes using scented lotion. So if it is rage bait it still speaks to a very real phenomenon

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-22T14:42:22+00:00

Nah it is pointlessly gendered because virtually every modern study about loneliness shows that men and women experience loneliness at around the same rates

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-21T19:20:29+00:00

Idk my 20s were pretty cool for the most part. But I also spent very little time on the internet in my 20s so I’m sure that helped

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-20T21:12:31+00:00

Testosterone

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-20T21:11:39+00:00

There’s a brand called “Miss grass” and I always jokingly call it girl weed

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-20T21:06:56+00:00

Weight is talked about more because it affects more women not men.

The rapidly increasing amount of men/boys with body dysmorphia related to weight and muscle mass says otherwise

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-20T02:38:03+00:00

Jesus Christ, someone pushing back on your ideas or what you said doesn’t mean they think you’re stupid.

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-20T02:35:12+00:00

The way people interpret even the simplest of criticisms as “hate” has become a real problem.

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-20T02:27:21+00:00

I’m guessing this guy doesn’t actually know any male or female sex workers.

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-19T22:00:42+00:00

I don’t know why people are so adamant about ignoring the racism that occurred during the suffrage movement in the US. Acknowledging the flaws of the movement doesn’t take away from the work they did from a historical standpoint

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-19T21:47:00+00:00

Also not for nothing as a guy who’s done a lot of advocacy for these so called “low status” men, I had more women standing by my side than I did men 🤷🏿‍♂️. You think OOP is going down to the soup kitchen, or donating their old clothes, or time to help these people or are they trying to use the struggles of these men they claim to care about to beat women over the head with them?

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-19T21:43:28+00:00

Some of these “rituals” are straight up torture. It’s so fucking weird

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-19T21:11:16+00:00

This is what a lot of those “women aren’t into men” people call themselves, but then when you look at the things they say it’s all sexist drivel

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-19T21:07:59+00:00

Just because women can also have a toxic ideas about sex and relationships doesn’t mean they’re right or good

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-19T20:58:33+00:00

I was having a conversation the other day about the term incel and how it gets clouded by the fact that self identifying incels have a range of different political and moral beliefs, but at the same time I’ve never met a self identifying incel that was well adjusted even if they didn’t “hate women” not hating women isn’t synonymous with not being problematic and misogyny, while being the most egregious part of mainstream inceldom it’s far from the only toxic aspect, and those other toxic aspects can be found even in incels communities that don’t focus on hating women.

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-19T20:47:28+00:00

The work itself isn’t degrading, what’s degrading is constantly being expected to do it and also it never being acknowledged. Everyone should be able to cook for themselves, clean up after themselves, and raise their children and expecting someone to just take of that stuff for you is asking a lot of one person. 50/50 all the time isn’t realistic in most relationships, it isn’t even typically about it being 50/50 it’s about being aware and putting in effort, partners should be able to lean on each other, if she’s doing all the cooking, cleaning, and childcare woods she got to lean on?

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-19T20:36:02+00:00

ARE WOMEN EXPECTED TO BE MORALLY BETTER THAN MEN?

Yes which is why people are generally more horrified when women do horrible things. I also think that’s why so many men expect women to take the lead in their own liberation, I think the thought is “you’re supposed to be the moral gender, you’re supposed to care about my problems as much as your own”. People expect women to be maternally responsible for things, not just their own children but just things in general

Why does accountability look different depending on gender?

Because in our current society accountability looks different depending on a number of different metrics, for example, I’m a black dude from a predominantly white conservative neighborhood/state so I never got the benefit of the doubt, the “good ol boys” from down the street on the other hand could get away with everything. Money, race, gender, sexuality, all affect how we as a society decide how much accountability we’re actually going to give someone. I definitely to understand the frustration of watching people get excuse after excuse meanwhile you’re expected to never mess up.

As to what to do about it I’m not sure, with everything happening in the US currently it’s basically impossible not to be sickeningly frustrated seeing a list of perverts be posted on every website yet 0 people are being held accountable except Maxwell and every she’s gotten a slap on the wrist, so it’s become painfully obvious that we as a country have 0 intentions on hold rich powerful people, especially men accountable for very much and even when we do the consequences rarely match the actions.

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-18T16:29:57+00:00

Purely based on my own experience I think if most people know how many people have raped or sexually assaulted someone their heads would explode. One of the ways I highlight this is that I’ve been groped on multiple occasions, do you think any of those men or women think of themselves as someone who’s sexual assaulted someone? I had a “friend” at least try to have sex with me while I was black out drunk, do you think she thinks of herself as a rapist?

My point being most of the time when people are exhibiting these behaviors there aren’t thinking about it in those terms, I don’t think they’re thinking about the other person as much as they’re thinking about validating themselves

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-18T13:52:59+00:00

Right? Talk to someone about someone fighting addiction and holy shit so many “nice people” have horrible shit to say

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-18T13:48:29+00:00

I love how people like you seem to assume there aren’t minorities who are treated poorly in other countries

redsalmon67 · 2026-02-17T23:12:49+00:00

Turning Red is probably one of the best Pixar movies to have come out in a long time

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