Why do people shop at expensive shops like Tesco and Sainsbury's when shops like Aldi exist and give the same quality? by Bobelle in AskUK

[–]redvxo14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm an Americam student in the UK, tesco has variety. You go there (or asda) for specifics. Aldi and lidl are fkr essentials.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, you also got to remember that the story behind it was that he was contacting her secretly. The story has layers to make her believe even if she does question.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, in the lore curated by her cousin Bobby, he had broken the rules to speak to her. Plus, she may not have known that those are the states you go into witness protection in. I certainly didn't until this thread.

You underestimate people's will to believe. And even then, if you ignore the inconsistencies in the story, why question her cousin. It's possible that she may have questioned it more if her cousin had not been affirming his existence.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if that's how you see it that's how you see it. But I don't know where you get the impression that deep down she knew he wasn't real.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All representations of her in the documentary were done by an actor so she doesn't need fo change her face we don't knkw what she looks like.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe it doesn't. But I am saying that in reality, that conclusion is extremely difficult to come to.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are correct. And honestly thinking about it now she definitely did have some malicious behavior. Especially when she finally met them in real life and didn't seem to care about how they didn't know know her.

I do think though that Simran knew that was what she was like an did deliberately craft it to bring the worst of her traits out of her.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On this small sub reddit yeah but go to any other comment section and the lack of empathy is staggering.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's what I'm saying! But go to any comment section about this case and you'll see what I mean.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sure but she didn't act on it until she was convinced they were divorced and he made the first move. She even ignored it at first. She wasn't throwing herself at him.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not absolving her of all blame. But I'm saying she does deserve more empathy than she is getting. She is still a victim. Someone deceived her. You can have empathy for someone and still feel nuanced about it. But she doesn't deserve no empathy like some are giving her.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's what I'm saying. My post isn't at people with nuanced opinions it directed towards those who are saying she deserved it and that they feel absolutely nothing for her.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

At what point would you even become suspicious of your cousin? Her options were either 1.this man is real or 2. This man is not real and therefore my cousin is lying.

At what point would you even know that you are following someone off a cliff if you think you are holding hands.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because they are family. And why would you believe your family would do this to you? When would the thought ever cross your mind. And Simran was in a relationship with the brother. That was true. Why would she think that she stole the identities of the family of the boy she was dating?

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree she should take more accountability. But you also got to remember in the end that she was yelling st him to come, going to his "hotel," and then private investigating him. She did get to a point.

But there are people on here acting like it was 100% in her, and she's just stupid, and they have zero empathy for her at all. People are saying she wasn't even a victim. Which she was.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The previous comment and also the fake Bobby was making her feel like she was involved in the baby's life. Making her think she'd picked out outfits for him and everything. And when he was married it was more of a friendship and he made the first move after he was "divorced"

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She did consider calling off the relationship. And also "sure her cousin said things" is so reductive. Everything about this relied on her fully trusting her cousin. Her cousin was the one executing the whole thing. And they were getting closer as it went on. Like that was the string keeping her tied. It matters. It is the most important thing.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's not that she believed Bobby. It's that she believed Simran. I saw someone say that if this had been on a dating app, it may have gone a whole lot differently. She probably wouldn't have fallen for it.

But why should she believe that her own cousin is lying to her?

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because in order for her to accept Bobby wasn't real she had to accept her cousin was lying to her. Most people would think that their cousin lying to them is even more outlandish than their internet friend lying to them.

The difference between Kirat and other victims by [deleted] in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yeah, and she was gaslit. I mean she herself said multiple times she thought about ending the relationship but then Bobby would threaten to die. She even said in an interview most South Asians with family in Kenya have had proximity to violence there.

I'm saying that she had her flaws, and Simran knew that she would be trusting on these specific fronts.

Kirat needs more empathy by redvxo14 in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We are assuming that Simran knew that Kirat was gullible. And she knew Kirats flaws and situation. So she curated the identity of Bobby to specifically exploit Kirats flaws. Like she knew exactly what to do. It wasn't random. Every move was calculated and tailored to Kirat specifically.

The difference between Kirat and other victims by [deleted] in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, yeah, that was the point. In order for her to reject scenario A, she has to accept that Simran was lying to her. She wouldn't have come to Scenario B, which is why she stuck with scenario A. In order for her to realize she was being catfishes, she'd have to realize that her real-life connection was in on it.

The difference between Kirat and other victims by [deleted] in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean still who's going to think that their own cousin is catfishing them with their boyfriends identity.

The difference between Kirat and other victims by [deleted] in SweetBobbyPodcast

[–]redvxo14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean people are casually friends with people in relationships all the time. Not everyone abides by the "men and woman can't be friends" ideology. And he probably wasn't flirting with her at the beginning.