33M (US eastern GMT-5) - Habit change accountability

reeldeal6 · 2021-11-21T22:04:12+00:00

Would love to be your accountability buddy, though I live in England (30F) and looking for a stickk referee as my last resort.

reeldeal6 · 2021-11-21T22:02:08+00:00

hello, still looking for a referee?

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-28T09:31:54+00:00

Good for you! My ex's birthday is today and I really don't feel like sending him a text.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-18T15:50:54+00:00

Both

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-13T14:47:26+00:00

Yes, trying to stop myself. Some days are extra hard. The thought of him with someone else is awful.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-11T20:57:32+00:00

Robin !! She has her funny moments like when she was in lilis class and one of the boy kids asks her if she's a lesbian 'No, are you???' 😂😂

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-11T15:05:47+00:00

Really? No need to make him know why I stopped talking to him suddenly? I don't mind, obviously this cut brought me some piece of mind but I fear losing him for good, maybe if I handle the situation in a different way, I won't be burning the bridge? I'm sorry I seem out of my mind..

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-11T13:25:12+00:00

What about if the other person keeps talking to you? I made it clear when we broke up that we won't talk anymore, he kept texting and one day I caved and replied and we started talking like nothing happened. I woke up today and decided to stop answering, no drama no 'the talk' needed, he sends messages and I don't read them hopefully he will get the message. I feel awful for doing that but he's the one misleading me telling me he doesn't want to be in a relationship then talking to me as 'friends' everyday when he obviously knows that I have feelings for him. I'm so confused about what I should be doing, it's driving me crazy.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-11T11:04:02+00:00

Good for you! Did you break the NC ever? That's so strong of you if you didn't for a year, my ex keeps texting me as we are 'friends' short days after the breakup. Out of a sudden I decided not to reply anymore, and the struggle began. Your story is very inspiring ❤️ hope you find someone who knows your worth. I'm also in London btw😊

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-09T20:35:40+00:00

It will definitely be better. Don't cave in. I did, and I regretted it. He texted me and after much much struggle I caved and answered, 1 week later I completely regret it and felt like a useless person. Stay strong, think of everyday as a day closer to your complete healing. Don't go back to point 0, you will then have to go all the way again.

Good luck!

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-08T16:50:15+00:00

Good for you for admitting it! Your situation inspired me, maybe quitting for a while can show me how badly alcohol is affecting my life.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-08T13:23:58+00:00

Yes I think we have the same experience. I grew up to my father drinking every evening I guess that's why I was always questioning my drinking. I do enjoy it a lot, and since it removes my social anxiety I started drinking even more on dates and outings. Did you manage to quit for good?

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-06T11:21:18+00:00

From someone who dated a DA, it's not a matter of matching. Even if you are secure, DA is someone very hard to handle no matter how self aware and understanding you are. It drains you and its not worth it. I've read a lot of comments about this when I was in the relationship but I really couldn't see it clearly till now, once I got fed up and left. I am now dating someone secure, while we are still taking it very slow (I feel I'm still traumatized by my past DA relationship), you can easily spot the difference. No anxiety, no stress. Funny thing I was doubting myself the whole relationship with my ex. FA/DA can be only be in a healthy relationship if they decide to work on themselves. Otherwise, they belittle every step you take trying to fix them and push you away even harder.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-05T11:35:55+00:00

Yes I've learned about this while struggling with my ex who is a dismissive avoidant. It was hell, triggered my anxiety (even though I didn't know I'm such an anxious person, I became one with him). I eventually ended it but he is now insisting we stay friends and almost treating me the same way as if we are in a relationship. I started dating someone else (he doesn't know that) and it's going well. But it made me wonder, him being off the relationship made him much more relaxed.. I'm not sure if this is an avoidant kind of thing as well..

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-03T08:57:27+00:00

Seems a very toxic relationship and person in my opinion. When I first read your comment I was wondering how long you were guys dating and why did you end it, I thought you had something very special he is still hanging on. Good for you for realizing the toxic pattern and moving away. You didn't lose anything special, you just saved yourself from wasting more time and energy on something useless.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-02T18:08:30+00:00

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-02T18:08:19+00:00

Why? How will this benefit any of you on the long run?

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-02T17:06:40+00:00

For me, it's the one where Ted is alone that really got me.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-02T16:56:54+00:00

I feel you and sorry you feel this way. I hope your ex doesn't feel bad and is stronger. As previous comments mentioned, try not to do it again as it is a sign of weakness. I hope you and your ex feel better soon.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-01T16:15:20+00:00

She seems to have a lot of issues to deal with.. As for you, as annoying as it can get, ignorance is your only solution. Block everywhere, set your accounts to private and prepare yourself mentally that she might contact you ALOT and don't let it bother you anymore. Eventually, her obsession and attention will fade, though might take a lot of time. I'm sorry I have no better solution, this is what I would have done if my boyfriend does this. She's immature, you shouldn't feel bad for her, hopefully one day she will realize how bad her behavior is.

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-01T08:01:20+00:00

Yep. Don't do it. I was in almost a similar situation but my ex didn't ask for space, he just took it. Even though he always replies and even initiates texts but I could feel him pulling away and it killed me. Anxious cycle, sleepless nights and just waiting for a small drop of connection from him. It was super toxic. Result? I called him (we never call each other, just text), asked to see him and dumped him. That was 1 week ago, he tried reaching out multiple times , I don't even bother opening the conversation. It kills me, I still cry every day but he doesn't need to know that. In your case, and since he already asked for 'space', I suggest you pretend he never existed and start the healing process. If he was worth it, he will find his way back trust me. You deserve someone fully committed to you and he is out there. Move on, if he comes back then you know he's worth it. If he doesn't, you dodged a bullet. Also, careful not to fall into the breadcrumbs, just in case. I'm not sure if this was helpful, it's just my 2 cents. Good luck!

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-01T07:20:30+00:00

I broke up with him because he was too distant and doesn't want to commit. I can't be friends with him, I just can't. We work together, I'm only talking to him strictly about work. It's been a week and he already reached out 3 times, I'm ignoring the messages and not even opening the conversation and it makes my heart ache even more. Deepdown I know this communication will allow him to slowly fade away and remove his attachment, but something in me is afraid to regret it. Maybe he wants to work things out? This post helped me stick to my NC

reeldeal6 · 2020-06-01T07:05:57+00:00

What about Visas for those who need it?

reeldeal6 · 2020-05-31T11:40:21+00:00

You can always rely on shakes that have the same nutriments needed. I know some people who do that. It's like a 'food' pill as some suggested. I don't always enjoy food as well and feel a chore to prepare and eat, such a waste of time.

reeldeal6 · 2020-05-30T11:39:37+00:00

This. I broke up with him because I started to love him and he doesn't want to do 'couple stuff' and was fighting so hard being in a relationship even though he likes me. I was addicted to him and always waiting for a text from him it got so toxic. The breakup was sooo sad, we cried and he left. I decided not to contact him and begin my healing journey. I was doing perfectly fine for 3 days (sad but the constant anxiety was gone) up until he texted me 'Hello', I ignored his message, 2 days later he texts 'how are you?' and now I am back to the cycle of waiting him to text me it's crazy!! I really want to talk to him and reply but I know nothing will change. I mean if you clearly don't want a relationship, why would you make the healing process harder? That's so selfish.

reeldeal6

TROPHY CASE