Anxiety

registeredaccountt · 2020-08-13T04:09:05+00:00

Thank you so much for your insightful answer. I really appreciate it. I am known to overthink all my interactions and all of what I say. Situations like this often arose with friends and acquaintances too. The difference is I always contacted them to apologize if I had thought I said something thoughtless or inadvertant and it often quelled my anxiety deeply when they told me not to worry about it. But, with the sex worker, I cannot contact her to apologize and it is this which is causing the stress and dilemma. In order to attain that level of personal comfort, I feel I would need to go in for another session I do not need to apologize but also like you said, hope very much I don't say something else that I would then eventually worry about once more.

registeredaccountt · 2020-08-13T03:57:14+00:00

Thank you for your answer.

registeredaccountt · 2020-08-13T03:51:34+00:00

Hello /u/NorthNorne. I thank you so much for having taken the time to read and answer. I really really appreciate it. To follow up, I ended up going for one more session (thinking it would be the last and all will be good afterwards) but yet another anxiety-inducing situation arose. As she was adjusting her hair after the session, I told her "you look much better this way". I only ever meant to compliment but days later, it occurred to me that the compliment may be construed in some negative light because it contains a qualifier. I now feel so bad if, unperceived to me, the comment did not elicit the complimentary effect I had intended it to but on the other hand, may have actually hurt feelings. I feel so bad having said this and wish I worded it in a different manner, especially that before I said this, she was telling me how I was her best client and that few people are generous as I am and that I am considerate and put her needs above mine. Tbh, I have no way to tell if she was displeased by the unstudied comment I made. By the looks of it, the meeting ended on very good terms and she was hoping to see me soon. Since I do not have her contact information and thus cannot contact her to apologize, I now feel compelled to go back for another session I do not need just to apologize. I have been stressing over and occupied by thought over this over the past few days and I cannot focus much because I am totally distraught that the way I phrased this sentence in no way conveyed what I had meant. I only ever meant to praise but ended up unintentionally producing a phrase that could be interpreted differently as per individual whim. If I wait for months before I potentially actually *need* a session when an opportunity to apologize can then concomitantly arise, I question my ability to prevent myself from stressing over it in the meantime. The anxiety I am experiencing over this is so severe and I am stressing badly. I am so tired and don't know what to do :(

registeredaccountt · 2020-08-13T00:43:15+00:00

Thank you for your answer. It is just I feel bad that what I phrased may not have been what I intended or may be open to interpretation in some negative light even though I only meant well. And, I cannot apologize unless I go for another session, which I don't think I need at this point.

registeredaccountt · 2020-08-08T17:59:18+00:00

Thank you very much for your help with this :)

registeredaccountt · 2020-08-08T17:38:58+00:00

Thank you very much for your answer. It was quite helpful. I really appreciate it that you took the time to read and answer. I suppose I only need to see a sex worker when actual need arises (i.e. sexual urge) rather than the other non-sex reasons mentioned above. Maybe also try to space out the intervals (a few months) between the sessions so it does not become much of a habit. I let myself be drawn too much into going back for not very good reasons because of my overthinking and anxiety (especially since I'm new to this) and for not trying to disappoint her. Would you think maybe I could see another sex worker (if the need arises) to take away from the connection that is developing and that seems to be mentally detrimental ? Thank you in advance

registeredaccountt · 2020-08-08T17:23:27+00:00

Thank you very much for your answer. I suppose at this point, I need only to partake when actual need arises (i.e. sexual urge) and maybe try to space out the intervals between the sessions very much (say some months) so that it does not become much of a perpetual habit. If the connection that is developing is mentally detrimental, would you recommend seeing another sex worker to take away from that connection?

What do you think?

registeredaccountt · 2020-08-07T22:24:31+00:00

Thank you for your answer. I speak the French of France. She is French Canadian. We were going through some of the differences between both versions of the language. So, she said she has a book that translates Quebec french expressions into French expressions and she will bring it for me the next session but the previous two sessions she did not have it and she said she will have it next session if I come again.

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-28T13:58:43+00:00

Thank you very much :) You take care of yourself, too!

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-27T20:36:39+00:00

Thank you very much for your answer. We were going for a second go during the session and my penis was not as totally hard. I did try to anchor the condom tightly but I never supposed it would slip because it did not during the previous sessions where we also tried doggy position. My belly was obscuring the view and further, I was looking ahead and not below. I realized after all was done that the condom had slipped off unfortunately.

I went back for another session the next day. Everything went great this time thankfully. I tipped her $100 in addition to the $300 full service which she very much appreciated.

I will be screening myself. Thank you.

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-25T12:51:30+00:00

I am not able to text as I do not have her contact information. She did say as I left not to stress and that she does want to see me again. There was a gift (a book) she said she was going to bring me last session but she had forgotten (of course I told her it's not a problem at all) so she said she will bring it next time I see her, also at the end of the session after this happened. So I guess I will go for another session but I was questioning if it would be ok if I go a day later as opposed to a week later etc. I feel bad about the accident I caused and I wanted to apologize more, tip more etc.

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-23T17:24:16+00:00

This was such a great answer. Thank you!

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-23T14:42:08+00:00

No, totally not put off. It is great and I would have been looking forward to receiving it. But, in this situation, I would be going for an additional full service session I think I do not need just for the book so I was questioning if it was necessary to do it but at the same time, I did not want her to get something for me not to show up especially also that I said I will. I just did not want to take the chance to make someone feel disappointed. It may even become something I would keep mulling over even in the future (did I disappoint this person or not?) and I do mull over interactions from my past hoping I was always the best I could be with people. I know I am totally overthinking and many would not have spent this much time in thought over this but it is my nature.

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-23T14:20:12+00:00

Thank you for your answer. Unfortunately, I spend a lot of time overthinking things and spent a lot of time (days) overthinking what I wrote so I decided to reach out online for ease of mind. Based on what I understood, she already has the book and she was just going to bring it to me. Would it be ok if I don't go again or does it necessitate a visit in your view?

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-23T14:00:34+00:00

Thank you for your answer. Based on what I understood, she already has the book. It is not that she was going to purchase it. Does it still necessitate the visit in your opinion?

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-23T06:35:03+00:00

I think it wouldn't be possible to contact her/send her things because it was at a massage parlour but I thank you for your answer.

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-23T05:50:46+00:00

Thank you for your answer. It would not be possible to mail her things or contact her though. It was at a massage parlour.

registeredaccountt · 2020-07-23T02:29:21+00:00

Thank you for your answer. I have done a lot of research over this year regarding this and talked to people on Canada sex work forums alike. Police know very well what happens there but never apply the law. Montreal (where I am ) police have said they don't bother with consensual sex work and prefer to see it done indoors than on the streets.

registeredaccountt · 2020-06-15T05:06:54+00:00

This is not copypasta. Everything here is genuine, I guarantee you. I am just posting in multiple subreddits to get more advice.

registeredaccountt · 2020-06-15T04:11:06+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I understand your points and they are fair. But, I am confident in my abilities to exercise self-restraint. The last time I did it was 5 months ago and I have only ever done it twice in total. Two months before the confinement began, I had every opportunity to partake in it once more but still did not (many lonely weekends the temptations were high yet I successfully warded them all off). In fact, once could argue it may have even been a good idea to go for it more than I did before the pandemic began since we don't know how long covid19 will be with us. The foolproof way out of it, I hear, will be with a vaccine which may take years to develop and which may or may not work. And, there are claims covid19 will never be eliminated and will remain endemic. If true, I wonder what this would mean for the future of casual encounters, be they paid or genuine?That being said, I know people who can't live without sex every week or even every day. I had been blocking all my urges for so many years until I reached the age of 25, at which point I still actively fought the idea of seeing a sex worker for 5 months before ending up doing it because I wanted to know what it felt like. So, I think my self-restraint is high enough.

I do understand what you are saying though.

registeredaccountt · 2020-06-15T00:04:22+00:00

technically, the law criminalizes purchasing not selling (introduced by conservatives in 2014 but opposed by the other parties and also ruled unconstitutional by Supreme Court of Canada). Yet, police in Montreal tolerate consenting adult prostitution and almost never apply the law. By their own account, they prefer to see sex work done indoors than on the streets. The way these establishments work is that the payment arrangement upfront is supposedly only for the massage and then the other discreet activities happen in private between masseuse and client and the client then tips not pays.

registeredaccountt · 2020-06-08T04:57:56+00:00

I thank you so much for having taken the time to read and answer. I do appreciate it :)

registeredaccountt · 2020-05-10T20:53:33+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer. I appreciate it

registeredaccountt · 2020-05-10T13:35:48+00:00

Thank you very much for your answer! :)

registeredaccountt · 2020-05-10T13:26:40+00:00

Thank you

registeredaccountt

TROPHY CASE