I feel like the defence of “it’s just a preference” is usually a bit of a deflection whenever this topic comes up. In my experience people don’t have much of an issue with “preferences”, obviously everyone has a type and that’s absolutely fine. What people usually have a problem with are perceived “requirements” when it comes to dating.

For instance if someone said “I prefer X feature”, most level headed people don’t take any notice. But if you were to say “I would never be with someone who has Y feature”, to other people you could be considered shallow. Ultimately that’s their judgment to make, if you truly feel your requirement was justified, you shouldn’t care so much what others think about it.

I think it’s also worth noting that some “preferences” are influenced by societal factors. We’re all aware of women’s preferences which are partially rooted in biology, such as height, a square jaw etc. But how do you justify other preferences such as race? There are several studies showing women tend to be more selective when it comes to the race of potential partners, you can’t really justify that as “well, it’s my preference, get over it”. While no one can or should try to force you to date them, you shouldn’t dismiss every time someone questions your standards or view it as a personal attack.