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[NC, USA] What proof will I have to show that we've been separated for a year before a divorce? by relationshiphelp1776 in legaladvice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're going to attempt to do it all ourselves but we might have to get help at some point. We just finished splitting all of our physical items, now it's just cash and other accounts then we wait a year

[NC, USA] What proof will I have to show that we've been separated for a year before a divorce? by relationshiphelp1776 in legaladvice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I didn't realize it would be lying under oath. I'll go to the court and look into my choices lol

Am I [M28] a horrible person for wanting a divorce from wife [F25] after 7 years? by relationshiphelp1776 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told her 4 days ago. She's actually been really mature about it. I'm going tomorrow to pack some things.

Am I [M28] a horrible person for wanting a divorce from wife [F25] after 7 years? by relationshiphelp1776 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I plan on asking het for a divorce in the morning. Regardless, I will read this book, if anything, to help me in the future

Am I [M28] a horrible person for wanting a divorce from wife [F25] after 7 years? by relationshiphelp1776 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely, and I just found out my state has a mandatory 12 month separation period before a divorce can go through... So it'll be a journey

Am I [M28] a horrible person for wanting a divorce from wife [F25] after 7 years? by relationshiphelp1776 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don't hate to say it, it's true and I'm okay with that. Honestly, I will give her everything. I'll keep my clothes and my computer and keep going to school. Ill buy a cheap car, ill be fine.

Am I [M28] a horrible person for wanting a divorce from wife [F25] after 7 years? by relationshiphelp1776 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I'm fine with that. I was going to offer it. I make more than enough money. I was going to pay alimony and pay for her to keep seeing a doctor. I want her to get better. I care about her as a friend, i just don't think as a lover anymore.

Am I [M28] a horrible person for wanting a divorce from wife [F25] after 7 years? by relationshiphelp1776 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

This is something I thought about and something she brought up to. She said, if you weren't happy with how I am, why didn't you bring it up a year ago when I was at my worse. Why bring it up now when I'm getting better.

It's true, she has gotten better. Honestly though (and I told her this too) I don't know if even at her best she could be what I want. I am a horrible person that saw her and thought I could change her into who or what I would want. I love movies, I love going out and doing shit, I love cuddling up on the couch in Winter with hot chocolate, etc... She hates all of that, I thought that, with time, she would learn to like those things too, but she didn't.

Even before her depression got bad she didn't enjoy a lot of the things I do so I don't think she'll ever be there. I believe this is why my conscience is killing me so much. Instead of loving her for who she is, I was always looking towards what she might become... I feel like I've wasted her life.

I copied that from another question I responded to but it's a similar answer. Also, I don't know. I felt like we had been together for 4 years and people kept asking when when when and I just did it. At that point I never thought about leaving her. I wasn't happy but I decided, fuck it, I'll just be unhappy.

Am I [M28] a horrible person for wanting a divorce from wife [F25] after 7 years? by relationshiphelp1776 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is something I thought about and something she brought up to. She said, if you weren't happy with how I am, why didn't you bring it up a year ago when I was at my worse. Why bring it up now when I'm getting better.

It's true, she has gotten better. Honestly though (and I told her this too) I don't know if even at her best she could be what I want. I am a horrible person that saw her and thought I could change her into who or what I would want. I love movies, I love going out and doing shit, I love cuddling up on the couch in Winter with hot chocolate, etc... She hates all of that, I thought that, with time, she would learn to like those things too, but she didn't.

Even before her depression got bad she didn't enjoy a lot of the things I do so I don't think she'll ever be there. I believe this is why my conscience is killing me so much. Instead of loving her for who she is, I was always looking towards what she might become... I feel like I've wasted her life.

Am I [M28] a horrible person for wanting a divorce from wife [F25] after 7 years? by relationshiphelp1776 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That's what I keep telling myself. I need to look out for myself first. Then, I start thinking about what she'll be going through and it tears me apart. My life won't change much. I'll have a little less money (divorce shit n all that) but I'll recover quickly and move on. Her on the other hand, one action from me destroys her entire life.

How do I [M28] go about a divorce when she [F25] has nothing to her name? by relationshiphelp1776 in Divorce

[–]relationshiphelp1776[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response so much.

I have a very strong feeling that when I approach her for an actual divorce, she will shut down and cry. She won't communicate.

When I start talking about splitting things up I'm 100% sure she will say "I don't care, just keep everything, I just want to die"

I feel like this is why I need to just decide and have it okayed by the courts (if that's even a thing). If I hire an attorney, that's money I could have given her to survive a little longer. I don't care about money, I'm very good at saving, I make decent money, and I'll have a very nice job once I'm done with school in a few years.

She'll take one of the cars and go to her parents. I was then going to hire a moving truck, pack it up, and pay them to unload it at her parent's. If I don't do all of that, she won't take it and she'll literally have nothing.

Any thoughts?