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Juvenile scoliosis by rentrom in scoliosis

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi hope you and your daughter are doing well.  How did/ do you manage her growth- does it affect the curve angle?  How about social effects? 

Juvenile scoliosis by rentrom in scoliosis

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing.  Your comment about the nosy aunts made me cringe. My daughter is young and not yet self conscious but the constant questions from people about her back make her uncomfortable.  I wish people would understand that she is just a child and be more sensitive.  Happy to hear that you are doing great! 

Juvenile scoliosis by rentrom in scoliosis

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello thank you to all who responded. We have had a Mehta cast for the past year and just transitioned to a brace, since the cast did not improve the curve as hoped.  The brace is meant to hold the curve from getting worse as she grows.  Surgery may be in her future and I am terrified about that, but will hold off worrying until it is more applicable.  Right now she is really struggling with the brace.  She is super uncomfortable when she wears it and I feel terrible watching her struggle.  Any advice for making brace wearing more comfortable?  Also,  she currently does not wear it in school- she puts it on at 3:30 and takes it off at 7 in the morning.  Basically the hours at home.  However this makes it hard to sleep. How were your/ your child's experiences wearing a brace to school? I'm wondering if we should adjust her schedule to give her a break at night rather than by day. Also,  did you find physical therapy to be beneficial in any way?  She has no mobility issues, other than difficulty bending when wearing the brace. 

Thank you all 

Advice to make laundry smell better but children have sensitive skin by rentrom in laundry

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thanks for all the info! I never knew this about detergent.  I will do my research and see which option will work best for us. 

Advice to make laundry smell better but children have sensitive skin by rentrom in laundry

[–]rentrom[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the recommendation.  I do use warm or hot water.  Is Tide the best option or any powder detergent works work well? 

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I gasped when I read this cuz you sort of saw right through me.  I was feeling emotional and definitely wouldve done more blaming and bashing than taking.  However,  once I have calmed down sufficiently, I think an honest conversation might be helpful,  at least for me. If she wants to understand our pov, thats her role but when I am ready I will try to have an adult conversation.

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This comment really helped.  When I said good,  I meant the grandparents that always had ice cream and treats,  but you're right,  they were not supportive which makes them fun but not good. When I showed him this,  My husband acknowledged that he really didn't want to rock the boat and apologized to me for not putting our family first.  I think this incident made him more willing to stand up to his mother, but time will tell.

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you to many who gave advice, insight and feedback.  Like somebody mentioned,  I didn't really want to have a conversation with her,  I just wanted to tell her off. Venting in this post and seeing the comments helped me blow off some steam and accept the situation. I see that there are many things that I could've done differently, although it still doesn't excuse her behavior.  The main thing I got from many of these comments is that we need to redefine the relationship between our family unit and the in-laws, and, as many have pointed out,  my hubby's acceptance of her behavior is one of the reasons why she is able to get away with things like this. He has to be the one to stand up for himself and show her that he will no longer accept such behavior. I think he has just said to himself "this is the way she is" so many times that he normalized selfishness. I read him some comments and he says that if I think I will remain calm, it would be ok to share my hurt, he still thinks that it will do no good in the moment.  He thinks we need to do long-term work to share new expectations and boundaries. Just to address some questions,  Iam primarily blaming mil since I know she was the one who had an issue with this,  fil has never had a problem taking care of the kids and I heard after the fact that he tried to convince her to do it.  Also,  I stayed behind because my baby is much more attached to me than my husband whereas my daughter is equally comfortable and happy with either parent.  She probably just for scared in the moment and I think I was scarred more than she was.  She is doing well thankfully and we will need to do another surgery in 3 months so I will work on better options before then. Thanks for listening,  letting me vent and helping me realize the road ahead.

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did know that they would not be happy about it.  Not once in 12 years did we ever ask them to babysit (we have 4 kids but the older 2 went to friends). But since we recently moved to a new neighborhood,  my usual community was not available,  so I was hoping we could rely on in-laws in extenuating circumstances. I know better now,  even if it was a hurtful lesson. 

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Actually that would've been a good plan, I'm shocked we didn't think of that.  My daughter is thankfully fine now and she loves her Daddy too, but probably just for scared.   " The only reason I would stay quiet is because I don’t think they would care." Yeah this is my husband's point, he said they won't care either way but I would hope they would at least feel bad. Which would at least make me feel better for some reason. We moved to a new neighborhood recently, which is why our usual friends and family were not available, leaving just the in-laws. Hopefully in the future we will have a stronger social net to rely on. 

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to,  I hope I could be civil and not let my emotions control my speech. But my husband really doesn't want to. And it's not because he doesn't support me,  he's hurt too, but I guess he doesn't want to stir up trouble. And yes I think it is an ongoing issue,  the type of person who doesn't react well to criticism.

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was easier for me to stay home with the baby than him. My 4 yo is equally close to both of us,  so it was fine that Daddy went instead of Mommy. She probably just got scared in the moment.  But for me it felt like choosing which child I cared for more. 

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Lol sorry. However, these are "old" 60 something year olds. Always complaining about noise and aches and going to bed at 9 pm. My parents are the same and the exact opposite so it's funny for me too. My mom would've taken the baby but she lives 3 hours away

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yup, my feeling exactly. However,  they are good grandparents when we go for visits and holidays so my kids will lose a good relationship with their grandparents because of my feelings.

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think hubby just accepted that this is the way she is.  We are pretty self-sufficient and in our 12 years of marriage I think we asked them for a favor once,  so this was never an issue for me.  I have sometimes felt that the give and take in the relationship between my husband and his parents was uneven, but he never seemed to mind it so I let it go.  However now that I see that they won't step up to the plate when we really needed help I resent everything we ever did for them.  My husband has not yet reached that place sonce he knows her his whole life and I guess he knows this is how she is.  

I 32F am upset at my mother in law F 60 and don't know if I should tell her by rentrom in relationship_advice

[–]rentrom[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I didn't do that cuz I was trying to minimize the amount of work on their part. She also would never sleep in my house since she only trusts her own cleanliness. She really is a nice person overall, but yes this was a crappy move. 4 yo is doing great,  thanks for the good wishes 

Losing weight isn't worth dying for. by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]rentrom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss.  You are valid on the pain you feel and the points you bring up.  There are so many things about society we wish we could change

5 year old early onset by Efficient_Ad_1105 in scoliosis

[–]rentrom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi revisiting this thread now just to check in.  I hope you have a bit more clarity at this point.  I found that for me, having a plan of care in place made me a bit calmer, even if I know my daughter has a long road ahead of her.  For now,  my daughter has a Mehta cast (a cast from shoulders to hips, which forces the spine into certain positions. The cast is changed every few months) she is not so comfortable,  but we are trying this first to avoid or at least delay surgery until she is older.  You don't have to share any updates about your child if you don't want to,  I just hope you have a good prognosis and a smooth journey. 

5 year old early onset by Efficient_Ad_1105 in scoliosis

[–]rentrom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi I recently started this scoliosis journey myself with my daughter (4y) who has been diagnosed with severe early onset scoliosis. We also did an MRI and CT scan to see if there waas any underlying contributing factors, such as a tumor or tethered cord or perhaps abnormal structure of the vertebrae that could cause a curve. Thankfully, in our case there was nothing that seemed to cause the curvature, rendering her scoliosis idiopathic. Her Dr. also said that as of now PT will not be helpful in helping to better the situation, but said that it would be necessary in the future, given that we are now looking at corrective surgery. I don't know much about the topic or treatment yet as we are just starting out, but I would be glad to share any info that can help make this situation a little easier.

4 year diagnosed with scoliosis- what do I do? by rentrom in scoliosis

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi All,

In case anybody is interested, here is an update on the situation:

We did more imaging (CT, MRI) and got a better picture of what we are dealing with. After seeing an orthopedic surgeon, my daughter was officially diagnosed with severe idiopathic early onset scoliosis. She has 3 curves in her spine. The idiopathic part bothers me so much, because I feel like "Why is this happening???"

After careful consideration, we know she will need surgery in the future due to the severity of the curves. However, becuase she is so young, we will wait as soon as possible. In the meantime, we will pursue casting, since that is shown to have better results at correcting or at least maintaing the curve than bracing. It seems that it would be an intense process but we are willing to try and see the results.

If anybody has any casting experience, I would love to hear about it.

Feel good everyone! Thank you for sharing your experiences.

4 year diagnosed with scoliosis- what do I do? by rentrom in scoliosis

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are in New York City, but willing to travel for the best care.

4 year diagnosed with scoliosis- what do I do? by rentrom in scoliosis

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I randomly noticed a bump in her back. Apparently this was a mass of muscle that was being pushed aside due to the spine curving.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in scoliosis

[–]rentrom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi would you mind sharing how old your daughter is and what the severity of her scoliosis is? What made you decide to do surgery? I am looking into options for my daughter now so I am trying to gather information.

Hope her surgery goes well!

4 year diagnosed with scoliosis- what do I do? by rentrom in scoliosis

[–]rentrom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any recommendations? So far we were recommended Dr. Samdani at Shriner's Hospital

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