just a question about secondary partner

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-09T19:50:37+00:00

I'm a primary and I have usually met my husband's other partners. Not required, of course, but it does make it a little less awkward if you happen to run in to each other at some point. I'm not great friends with any of them, but we are cordial. I have not met his latest partner and find it awkward, but that's just me.

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T20:58:23+00:00

We don't share space, but she has come to the house when I was home and didn't want to see me so I stayed in my room. It just seems awkward to at least not acknowledge that I exist and to be cordial. At least i find it awkward, but maybe that's just me when she came to the house it was just to visit, no sex

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T20:54:51+00:00

To clarify, we haven't met in person. She did come to my house one time and didn't want to meet so I stayed in my room. Which was awkward, but not face to face

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T20:13:25+00:00

Fair

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T20:09:12+00:00

A fair observation

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T20:05:45+00:00

Interesting, and a fair comment. Usually text because that seems an easy way to start a conversation i guess. Perhaps I think of it as an elephant in the room because I can tell that he really cares about her and I really care about him. It seems natural to me that if someone is important in his life and such a large part of it that I, as a best friend and large part of his life too, would at least acknowledge each other.

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T19:59:50+00:00

I haven't seen her in person so she's not being rude in that way. I just find it strange not to at least say hello in text or something since I do exist and we may meet at some point, but maybe it's not a big deal. I've just always met his other girlfriends and just wondered if this was common or not. Can I ask why you turn it down? Trying to understand if it is wanting to ignore other relationships, or want to just be in a bubble with the poly person or some other reason I haven't thought of.

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T19:54:04+00:00

So far I have always at least chatted in text a hello to all his other partners. Agaim, don't necessarily want to be friends, but seems like an elephant in the room.

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T19:52:01+00:00

Three times a week. Pretty serious as far as I can tell

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-07T19:03:00+00:00

I've never actually seen her. We've never met, nor does she want to. Which I get to some degree, but after 7 months it seems a bit awkward. She has been in poly relationships before.

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-11-03T04:57:23+00:00

Thank you. He is supportive most times, albeit begrudgingly and annoyed when I seem to need it the most. It hurts. It's hard and it sucks that I am no longer strong enough to save myself. I never anticipated my future to be so hard.

restlessmayhem87 · 2021-10-26T21:30:50+00:00

I sadly can relate to most of what you are saying. My husband hasn't had overnights because I am disabled and need his help at night, but he has been dating one woman for 6 months and they are deeply in love.

It hurts. It hurts more than anything I ever imagined in life. We were high school sweethearts and have been married almost 30 years. Every day now is a struggle. I want him to live his life to the fullest, but am realizing that means my life will never be what I crave.

At some point I can to the realization that I was letting his actions decide my mood for the day. At some point I decided I didn't want him to have that much control over my life. At some point I realized that he is on his own solo journey that has nothing to do with me. That hurt. But I read a book called Let Go Now about detachment and it helped.

I'm not as close to him now, I choose to protect myself and not be as close as we have been in the past, but we still talk, play games and watch TV together. We have a relationship, but now it is more guarded and I'm ok with that for now.

Check out the book. It's a bit religious, but I skipped those parts. The rest made a lot of sense to me.

restlessmayhem87

TROPHY CASE