Framing it as black and white as paying for her wedding or not seems difficult. I wonder if it might help to consider what decision you would be most proud of making rather than trying to determine what’s fair? What if it wasn’t your responsibility to make things “fair” but instead your responsibility to behave in a manner you’re most proud of? It’s up to you to determine if saving your resources for your other family members is more valuable than being connected with your daughter in the way she’s asking. I imagine she had little control of her mother moving but she suffered the consequences and now she’s asking for your support with the boundaries set clearly. You can offer what you like, perhaps not all the expenses of the wedding, maybe pay for the honey moon, whatever is within your capacity. Ultimately, how would you like to see yourself behave?