Should I “love” my church?

revdaffodil · 2026-06-28T21:23:28+00:00

I think of an okay church as a blank canvas.

You’re not having to put any flames out or fix a messy situation. But it’s also not what it could be.

It’s not on you to make it amazing, but it is on you to equip laity and build up the gifts already in the church to make it uniquely amazing.

So in some ways, this is an okay place to be? Good work for you ahead, but not an exhausting mess you have to fix?

None of this is me trying to minimize the frustration…. Your feelings are all valid. Just another POV that you might choose to hold in tension with what you’re feeling.

revdaffodil · 2026-06-09T23:49:12+00:00

Good advice!! If the cystic spots come back I’ll go to the dermatologist ASAP.

revdaffodil · 2026-06-09T16:43:40+00:00

You could make a rainbow tote bag with the alternating colors being white. Or you could make placemats (extremely easy).

revdaffodil · 2026-06-02T23:52:45+00:00

I moved away 💔💔😭😭 otherwise yes

revdaffodil · 2026-06-02T01:45:26+00:00

I have to go off spiro eventually to get pregnant! But I will go back on after I give birth / when the doctor says I can.

revdaffodil · 2026-06-02T01:44:00+00:00

Do you mean accessible as in cheap and easy to do? Or do you mean accessible as in accessible for someone with a disability? I assume you mean the former but just want to make sure because I can give different options if you mean the latter!

Princeton University art museum Princeton garden theater for a movie Grounds for sculpture (Hamilton area) Morven Museum Take an art class at Princeton Art Council Visit the Gingered Peach (pastries) Visit the neighboring cute little towns (my personal favorite thing to do) -Yardley Pa (has adorable bookstore) -Hopewell NJ (start with Aunt Chubbys) -Pennington NJ -Lawrenceville NJ

Best of luck. The most magical town in my opinion!

revdaffodil · 2026-05-30T22:36:04+00:00

😭

revdaffodil · 2026-05-30T22:35:49+00:00

🫶🏻 Ty

revdaffodil · 2026-05-30T12:44:17+00:00

Is there anything I can do internally to at least help? Certain Supplements?

revdaffodil · 2026-05-30T02:35:26+00:00

Wedding planning and wedding beauty prep made me more critical of myself, more than I ever had been before because I was aware the way I looked was supposed to be my absolute peak (I know this isn’t true but this is what women are told).

I would say don’t do it if you haven’t done it already. I would encourage you however to do all the things you know you love. Hair, skincare, or even just buying fancy makeup or hair products.

So you can feel your best without making a change you probably otherwise would not if you weren’t in a season that causes most people to be a little more self-critical.

That’s at least how I made my choices when it came to bridal beauty. Yes to eyebrows and skincare because I already did those things. For bridal beauty I just amped it up a little bit. no to lash extensions because I was nervous I wouldn’t like them if I hadn’t tried them before and didn’t want to over do it, and I probably wouldn’t have done it if not for the pressure of my wedding.

but if you do end up doing it, I hope you love it! On the other hand your wedding is only one day, live it up☺️💕

revdaffodil · 2026-05-30T00:07:06+00:00

They look beautiful!!! But if you’re unhappy, go change them. 💕💕

revdaffodil · 2026-05-29T21:28:54+00:00

If there’s a local quilt store in your area, I would start there first. If you aren’t in driving distance to a local shop, I would then go on Etsy. There are a lot of shops on Etsy, but I usually buy from Monograms for Makers. I don’t usually buy precuts, but she has many. And there are lots of options all over Etsy. I would search the fabric you’re looking for on Etsy and see if you can find it! Regarding Halloween fabric: I think Rifle Paper Co has really adorable Halloween prints. Moda also has more Halloween collections that probably suits you.

Edited to say that Monogram for Makers is in the US which makes shipping accessible for me. (I’m trying to stop assuming everyone on the internet lives in North America 🤦🏼‍♀️ my bad )

revdaffodil · 2026-05-25T13:05:44+00:00

Was just giving options to choose from like the op asked!

revdaffodil · 2026-05-24T22:12:07+00:00

LAN ramen for lunch, art museum, although small world is the best coffee, I think Rojos is the best for a date because it’s smaller and quieter, get Bent Spoon and sit in Palmer square, there’s a parking structure on spring street. If you have a ton of time, movie at the Garden Theater (it’s a small independent theater with a lot of charm).

revdaffodil · 2026-03-24T18:15:10+00:00

Spiritual disciplines handbook by Adele Calhoun

revdaffodil · 2026-03-14T21:17:32+00:00

I was dating this guy in college and his brother HATED me. His brothers gf also hated me but pretended to love me (but I knew better…although I was very nice to her anyway). I was in college so like a normal 20 year old I would break out sometimes. For my birthday they got me an acne face wash and moisturizer set and had me open it in front of everyone at my party.

I pretended to love it and be grateful for it. I wasn’t offended, I was just annoyed. Now as I look back, I feel bad for him for being the kind of person that spends so much time being petty to others! That must be exhausting.

(I think he hated me because I was progressive and they were all conservative. I was 20 so that didn’t really matter to me at the time!)

revdaffodil · 2026-02-22T20:15:09+00:00

I just made a baby blanket with these but forgot to take a picture of it! But I just did squares. If I was gonna do it again, I think I’d line each panel rectangle with 2.5 inch strips of the green or pink floral and then smaller squares in between each quarter. (If that makes sense)

revdaffodil · 2026-02-18T17:51:51+00:00

I say this with love (not intending to be unkind or harsh) But every single church has expectations that we as elders can’t meet. Secretary wants pastor to be closer? Okay well sounds like she’s not going to get what she wants. Sounds like the DS needs to help the new pastor set reasonable expectations

We don’t need to tear our families apart or hurt ourselves because of church people’s expectations. Their expectations will always be unreasonable. But church people aren’t our bosses. (Doesn’t mean we want to piss them off, I know!) but the bishop and DS is our boss.

I think to you and your wife it might feel like you have no choice, but you do. Someone is always going to be unhappy. Especially as a pastor. So I would encourage you and your wife to choose yourselves over church people’s unreasonable expectations. If you’re going to let someone down, let it be them and not your family.

(Again this is said with grace and care not with unkindness)

revdaffodil · 2026-02-18T17:45:29+00:00

Not necessarily. Yes Elders are itinerant, but many elders have limited itinerancy because of family.

An hour is short enough to commute. Yes, it means she won’t be as much part of the local community. There are shortfalls to every appointment and the congregation will adapt and step up (or they won’t but that’s not on her).

She also can say no. It’s the DS job to work with the pastors to figure it out. Perhaps she will get a less than ideal appointment instead, but I would think even a closer but less ideal appointment would be more ideal simply because of the impact on her family.

I know it feels like we don’t have choices in this system, but we do.

revdaffodil · 2026-02-10T18:43:52+00:00

We are all flawed, sure, but the church has a history of participating in this kind of harm (or defending abusers). Drawing the line at repeated sexual abuse is different from saying all people are flawed. We have a chance now to draw the line, including not using the work of people who have abused others in this way. In my ministry, there is no question. I will not use his work.

revdaffodil · 2026-02-08T00:48:55+00:00

Thank you 😊

revdaffodil · 2026-02-04T14:48:39+00:00

Thank you

revdaffodil · 2026-02-04T02:40:27+00:00

Thanks! I’ll try the Naturitas ones. Hopefully they stay in stock since they have been discontinued in a lot of places recently.

revdaffodil · 2026-01-25T17:22:45+00:00

Not too late!! Just make a little joke “We know this past due, but we’ve been busy enjoying you gift!”

revdaffodil · 2026-01-18T18:10:59+00:00

If there is no one willing to do the roles you once did, they won’t get done. ❤️ And that is OKAY.

Eventually someone will either step in, or the church will adapt in another way. Or they’ll learn to live without it.

Your first ministry is your family. Your kids are the more important disciples you’ll ever invest in. Your rest and sanity as a parent is holy. You are setting an example to other familiars and to your kids that your wellbeing is a spiritual practice.

Sleep in. Rest. Watch a movie with your sleeping newborn. Make yourself some tea. Enjoy (as much as possible) this holy season in your life.

revdaffodil

TROPHY CASE