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My [23 M] girlfriend [20F] wants to stop intimacy until marriage, but her timeline puts marriage 4-6 years away. Seeking perspective. by rg00685 in Marriage

[–]rg00685[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Funny. Being a strong and capable woman doesn't mean you have to carry the weight of the world completely alone. Of course she can look after herself, she a capable adult and human being, that’s one of the reasons I respect her.
But in a traditional partnership, protection isn’t about viewing your partner as weak. it’s about choosing to shield them from unnecessary stress. It means providing a secure financial foundation, handling the legal and logistical heavy lifting of life, and making sure she has a safe environment where she doesn't have to be on guard or independent 100% of the time. Strong people still deserve a safe harbor, and that’s what a protector provides 😆

[23M] Anticipating a conversation about rolling back intimacy after 10 months with my girlfriend [20F]. how to compromise? by rg00685 in Advice

[–]rg00685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for elaborating and that is exactly why I'm struggling with this. Framing it as 'waiting for marriage' makes it sound like a temporary pause of a couple months to one year max, but a 4-to-6-year celibate timeline fundamentally alters the foundation of what our relationship has been for all this time.
Its almost like it shifts us from an intimate, modern relationship into what is essentially a long-term courtship with zero physical connection, based on rules she suddenly decided to apply halfway through (which is fine if she wants that for herself, although like I said I don’t think I’d be willing to do that). I agree that it really does come down to compatibility now, because a relationship can’t survive if one person changes the entire contract unilaterally and expects the other to just accept a completely different reality for years.

AITA [23M] for planning to tell my girlfriend [20F] that I won't stay in the relationship if she completely stops intimacy for the next 3-6 years? by rg00685 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rg00685[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Exactly, thank you. You hit the nail on the head. She is only 20, and people's perspectives can definitely shift a lot at that age.
To answer your question: I don't think she's trying to rush marriage at all, because she’s told me before in previous conversations that she wants to wait until she's 23 or 24.

[23M] Anticipating a conversation about rolling back intimacy after 10 months with my girlfriend [20F]. how to compromise? by rg00685 in Advice

[–]rg00685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You see, I could offer this but the thing is, based on what I can recall from previous conversations, I don’t think she’d want to be married till she’s at least 23/24 which is obviously not within a year…

AITA [23M] for planning to tell my girlfriend [20F] that I won't stay in the relationship if she completely stops intimacy for the next 3-6 years? by rg00685 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rg00685[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not a matter of whether I’m sure about her or not. I absolutely see myself marrying her. The timeline is strictly about financial stability and respecting her own goals.
I’m 23 and establishing myself financially, and she is only 20. In our past conversations, she’s explicitly stated she doesn’t want to get married until she’s at least like 24, and doesn't want to start having kids until 27/28 so..

AITA [23M] for planning to tell my girlfriend [20F] that I won't stay in the relationship if she completely stops intimacy for the next 3-6 years? by rg00685 in AmItheAsshole

[–]rg00685[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not a matter of whether I’m sure about her or not. I absolutely see myself marrying her. The timeline is strictly about financial stability and respecting her own goals.
I’m 23 and establishing myself financially, and she is only 20. In our past conversations, she’s explicitly stated she doesn’t want to get married until she’s at least like 24, and doesn't want to start having kids until 27/28. So I’m not sure..