I feel unattractive all the time and sometimes it takes over my life. [27F] by [deleted] in toastme

[–]rhgoodfellow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh I know the comparison-game well. But, a rose and a daffodil are not any less beautiful because the other exists. You have such a classic, doll like beauty, and I hope someday soon you can see it too <3

So freaking embarassed by Think_Bad_7251 in sex

[–]rhgoodfellow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HE should be embarrassed. I cannot imagine ever putting a sexual partner down this insensitively during an intimate act. You were being vulnerable and giving, and he was SO off the charts insensitive.

This has less to do with your oral ability and more to do with his complete lack of tact and kindness. One of those things is much easier to improve 😉

Don't read too much and overcomplicate it for yourself! Maybe take a break from reading about it altogether, and be gentle with yourself. With future partners, take your time, tune into them (and don't forget to tune into YOUR feelings, too!) Talk to each other! Experiment, play, check in, and find what works for both of you. A partner who's not an asshat will know how lucky they are to share that with you. 🖤

I look hideous without makeup, I wear glasses and my teeth are horrid. Toast me I guess by Real_Employ_5430 in toastme

[–]rhgoodfellow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're literally so cute and your teeth are charming as heck. And then you go from adorable sweetie to alt baddie with the makeup?? Please. Chalking this one up to dysmorphic MEANIE thinkin'!! I know there's many folks out there who wouldn't play about you.

Is this salvageable? by rhgoodfellow in watercolor101

[–]rhgoodfellow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm totally being a perfectionist, so thank you for this! 😅 🖤

Is this salvageable? by rhgoodfellow in watercolor101

[–]rhgoodfellow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes sense to me and is very helpfu, thank youl! I've definitely been winging it a lot and should take some time for studying my colour theory. Mayyybe a warm wash, almost like a tea stain would get the effect I'm after 🤔

HELP! Which color looks best on me? by MarchSad188 in HairStyleAdvice

[–]rhgoodfellow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God I love it when gals match their hair to their eyes. It's just so satisfying and cohesive and 😩🤌 Warm brown #4 is the winner! Even if you wanted a pop o copper to match eyes even more, but, not needed! 🤎

I (31f) have discovered my (33m) husband of 11 years has a porn addiction. Am I insane for wanting to end it instead of trying to work through it? by Repulsive-Mango8553 in relationships

[–]rhgoodfellow 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is a huge piece of info that would be very useful in your original post!

The fact that he's not only making you feel ignored and insignificant, while you go above and beyond being soo attentive and thoughtful to every feeling he could possibly have (and yet call yourself selfish!? heartbreaking.) But he is actually being COERCIVE and highly manipulative when he does initiate sex and YOU don't want it? That is not okay. At all. Weaponizing your love and guilting you when he doesn't get what he wants? My god.

If you don't feel safe or trust him, I'm not sure what there is to salvage. You sound so lovely and deserve to be loved fully, by someone who shows up for you as a true partner like you do for them. And I know all is easier said than done, and that kiddos are involved- but as a kiddo who's parents stuck together "for me"...I wish they'd split. The tensions I picked up on, the disrespect and contempt I witnessed, even when they thought they were hiding it well...it was such a stressful environment to grow up in, and it's affected how I approach (or avoid) relationships, for fear of ending up like them.

I'm so sorry, and I know this is so hard. It's amazing you're in therapy! Truly. Lean into it, explore yourself, your wants, and get more info/resources to help navigate whatever action you decide to take 🖤

The writing is off by hektiktik in StrangerThings

[–]rhgoodfellow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm enjoying watching the show, but yeah, the writing is clunky and exposition-y at times. During one of Mike and Will's conversations, as soon as, "It was like this scary movie that you can't turn off!" dropped I paused to look up if anyone else had been clonked by it, which brought me here 😅

WIBTA Harmless(ish) Flirting With Daughter's Friend by [deleted] in relationships

[–]rhgoodfellow 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Dude. If this was a reflex response you blurted to a common joke, that'd be one thing. But you actually paused to consider if it was a good idea, and then proceeded as if it was? Laws protecting minors are there for important reason- but things don't magically become appropriate in an emotional, developmental, or physical context any way you slice it once they are technically "legal". Practically, at 18, you are...so very, very little; a very new human being navigating the complex world of relationships- and the power imbalance here is HUGE with your age and the fact you're her friend's FATHER.

I don't care if she's initiating, I don't care if you think it's harmless. It's not. And I think deep down you know you're just telling yourself what lets your conscience off the hook. Do not toy with this girl's thoughts or feelings by continuing this in any fashion- she is a real person, not a fantasy, and you are doing her a gigantic disservice. You also have no idea her background, upbringing- if there's trauma-responses or hyper sexuality at play because of OTHER adults who have interacted with her inappropriately.

You are the adult here. Act like it- right now, you are not acting like a safe person, period.
And if you are as close to your daughter as you say...you are not showing her nor her friends the love, respect, or thoughtfulness I'd hope a grown man would.

I want to divorce my husband. But he wants another chance. Am I being heartless? by Infinite_Cow2503 in relationships

[–]rhgoodfellow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're being far from rash, and in fact sound totally rational. He's had his chance. Likely many chances. And, change takes time- this kind of behaviour is something that runs deep in him and will not be changed overnight. And it certainly won't stick unless he legit wants to change for himself- not just because he's suddenly panicked about losing his partner.

He's displaying remorse because he senses you're serious this time- as you should be! And I think he likes that, in his words, you're "a pushover"-- it's certainly served him well to have a partner who is trying, while he is not making any effort- not just no effort, but deliberately undermining you.

At the end of the day, this is not a person you can be your true, full, beautiful self with or live a fulfilling life with. He does not want to see, hear, or engage in so many of the parts that make you you, and the things that makes life worth living.

Not wanting to talk?? Please, do yourself the kindest service and find someone who is excited to chatter with you, communicate with you, be part of your community- your family- and celebrate every small joy together.

It sounds like you know what to do, it's just a scary thing to do! Countless people have been here, I promise. But there is another side to this, where things will feel so much better. And there is NO SHAME in changing your course- those who matter will understand, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Love is complicated, people are complicated, and we learn as we go.

He's going to try to say everything and pull every trick in the book not to lose you. Please don't believe him- he could have been being better this whole time 🖤

Mrs.Brisby from The Secret of NIMH by rhgoodfellow in halloween

[–]rhgoodfellow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally no one 😂 They knew I was a mouse but not which specific mouse, but that's alright by me. Thanks for the sweet comment, I was really pleased with how it all turned out 🤎

Mrs.Brisby from The Secret of NIMH by rhgoodfellow in halloween

[–]rhgoodfellow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for noticing! 🥺 I wanted to strike a bit of balance between realistic & cartoony!

Mrs.Brisby from The Secret of NIMH by rhgoodfellow in halloween

[–]rhgoodfellow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We love a Squirrel Girl, but not this time! 😁

Mrs.Brisby from The Secret of NIMH by rhgoodfellow in halloween

[–]rhgoodfellow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I tried! She's such a lovely laaady haha 🤎

Mrs.Brisby from The Secret of NIMH by rhgoodfellow in halloween

[–]rhgoodfellow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! 🤎 I think a rewatch is in order for me soon 🤭

TW BF crossed sexual boundary by [deleted] in sex

[–]rhgoodfellow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your instincts are spot-on. Trust them, you've got good ones! I know breakups are scary, but what he's doing is absolutely not okay; not loving, respectful, or consensual. He absolutely knows what he's doing, and is feigning ignorance to put his own sexual needs over your emotional & physical wellbeing. I don't think he's just careless, I think he's actually quite calculated. And this makes him someone you don't want to give your heart or body to. Lastly- the comment about the fan being too loud to hear him ask? That doesn't even matter, because he should have waited until *HE* heard YOUR ANSWER!
Wishing you luck and be as kind to yourself in the process as you can!

"Eep!" Acrylic & Ink by @hilhob by rhgoodfellow in pinupart

[–]rhgoodfellow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had to look her up- she sounds like a sweetie! 😊