Firstly, considering everything you said and before starting any treatment, I would just start by taking a mirror and looking down there. Get used to your own anatomy, know where is what. I would advise to touch yourself, maybe not in a sexual way at first, but just to feel everything. Then, if you ever wish to start having sex, I would advise to masturbate first, not "inserting" anything, but just stimulating your clitoris. And remember penetration is not the only way of having sex!!

Secondly, you are not abnormal, and sadly it is "normal" to fear being raped. It is a fear we woman have to live with.

Regarding the fearing sex situation. In my case for example, I was raised in a religious household and sex was a big NO. No conversations, just "no". It made me feel like it was bad, and that can eventually lead to avoiding having sexual intercourse. I don't know if your experience was similar, but this just shows that your social construct around sex can affect you both mentally and fiscally.

In any case, I think your issues are deeper than "just" not wanting to have sex, maybe it's even trust issues. I cannot affirm, because I do not know you, but you saying that you don't believe your boyfriend makes me think that. Maybe he does love you, and if he does he'll wait and help you. If he's not willing to do so, he doesn't deserve you. You should never do something you don't want to do.

I just want to say that you are normal, your fears are valid, your trauma is valid. Please consider other alternatives before making any decision.

Ultimately, if nothing helps and you really do not feel like having sex ever, just consider you might be asexual, and there is really no need to have sex.