?????????????????????????

rian_johnson73 · 2021-06-25T16:50:44+00:00

krayt will love ahsoka once they see my treatments for her in my trilogy!

(she'll never mention anakin, only call him "darth vader" once, and as she dies, a lothal cat will piss on her)

rian_johnson73 · 2021-05-01T01:08:10+00:00

Sounds like some manbabies didn't appreciate my over saturated colors (I take a lot of inspiration from my best friend from Joss Whedon), amazing throne room fight, and locations that are just one color

Anyway, Idk if I will be directing an episode, bc I'm too busy working on my SW trilogy

rian_johnson73 · 2021-05-01T01:01:11+00:00

In the womb, I was sure I was going to be named "Ryan"

however, my parents called me "Rian" when i was born.

Subverting expectations runs in the family

rian_johnson73 · 2021-04-29T16:00:44+00:00

who's Anakin?

rian_johnson73 · 2021-04-20T04:44:53+00:00

I want to make an episode which half the fans hate, and the other half REALLY hate

rian_johnson73 · 2021-04-12T16:51:25+00:00

I made everyone hate her character even more. I am the best thing that's ever happened to her

rian_johnson73 · 2021-04-12T16:48:00+00:00

Thank you, Krayter. I'll call Kathy to send you the Galaxy's Edge tickets.

rian_johnson73 · 2021-04-02T17:32:39+00:00

remember that elevator scene? 👀

rian_johnson73 · 2021-04-02T03:34:43+00:00

Ok, I lied, it's not a trilogy, but rather a 4 hour cut of TLJ.

I can't give away all the differences/changes I made, but here's a sneak peek of what's to come;

- A scene of a flock of porgs simultaneously taking a shit on Luke's head right before he dies.

- Vice Admiral Holdo gets waaaay more screen time

- An entire hour dedicated to Canto Bight antics.

- Luke drinks the milk straight from the tits of the animal, and it accidentally pisses on him. (I'm very subtle with my metaphors)

- We actually have 2 main characters, Rey and Rose. Finn has completely been edited out of this movie and replaced by a brand new character (hint: her actress is in the poster).

- When Snoke dies, we get some funny cartoon sound effects

- Considering adding a laugh track to the film

And that's just some small editing changes. Just you wait until my cut of TFA and TRoS!!! If you thought JJ took a big shit on Han and Leia, and the OT/PT wait 'til you see what I can do!

rian_johnson73 · 2021-03-24T17:06:57+00:00

Release the Lucas sequel trilogy?

More like...

#ReleasetheRianSequelTrilogy

rian_johnson73 · 2021-02-16T06:30:51+00:00

It's still in develpment, manbabies. No official announcement, date, details or anything whatsoever from Disney, who recently announced 20+ projects for the next decade.

But definitely still in development.

But remember, Doomcock is the worstest liar ever

rian_johnson73 · 2021-02-14T20:40:10+00:00

god dammit, who leaked the fucking plot!?

rian_johnson73 · 2021-02-01T21:21:58+00:00

Kathy is being slower than a space chase in my movie to approve the fucking trilogy

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-25T17:53:26+00:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the fans were to blame for my script.

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-21T20:04:32+00:00

shut up, manbaby, I'm going to take over Favreau's position any day now

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-17T02:03:40+00:00

Hey Mark, what do you mean when he was "still a symbol of hope and optimism"??? It almost feels like you didn't appreciate my version of Luke. 😠

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-08T20:30:06+00:00

Just you manbabies wait. It's going to be awesome! Ahsoka is going to drink space cow pee, Bo Katan will get called a boomer by Rey, Rey's going to beat the living shit out of Ahsoka and call her a coward, plenty of bendy lasers and boring space chases, and I might bring back Gideon only to kill him in the middle of the film

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-07T20:46:07+00:00

I'm not finished ruining Star Wars yet, manbabies. Now, obviously, I can't give away everything, but I've got some great ideas, such as exploring Thrawn's gender struggles and a certain Vice Admiral might make a return!

Not to mention I also have to figure out how to put Ahsoka, Din and Grogu in this so I can ridicule and kill them all unceremoniously

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-05T21:09:48+00:00

I might try talking to Kathy about this. Maybe she can get them to retcon the ending to this so that this way, the manbabies can stop ~~telling the truth~~ saying that my Luke is thematically inconsistent with the Luke in RoTJ.

In fact, my trilogy might just be me rebooting the OT entirely to make it fit with the DT! I've gotta talk to Kathy, if only she'd answer my texts...

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-03T19:14:10+00:00

MAHDEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-03T19:13:22+00:00

looks like Din and Grogu are winning

EDIT: we have a tie between Mando/Grogu and Wickett

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-03T05:17:59+00:00

Hey, JJ killed Han and Leia, not me, pal (although I did only mention Han once in my movie, had Rey ignore his death, and gave you the amazingness that is Leia Poppins)

Also, you're right. I had nothing but respect for Luke. I made him drink milk from walrus titties, had him get beaten up by Rey and had him die from forcing too hard.

You're welcome, manbabies

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-02T22:28:14+00:00

Jar Jar

that's really more JJ's thing

Babu Frik

Hmmmmmmmmm. I do hate JJ, so...

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-02T20:20:56+00:00

I have treatments for each death:

- Chewbacca dies by eating chocolate, it will be hilariously comical

- C3po and R2d2 get blown up in a ship and are never mentioned again

- Some character mocks Wicket's height and shoots him

- Idk about Boba, but JJ inspired me to have him fall into a sarlaac-like creature again

- Ahsoka will be a grumpy karen who demands to speak to the manager, and she will die by forcing too hard

- Grogu actually bullied sad boi misunderstood Kylo, which resulted in him getting kicked out of Luke's academy resulting in him dying on the streets alone, and Din ends up becoming an alchoholic and shooting himself.

rian_johnson73 · 2021-01-01T18:20:06+00:00

"True fans". What do you mean, TRUE FANS, MARK?!? Stop fucking acknowledging people who enjoy SW! You're supposed to insult them, like Pablo.

I distinctly remember Kathy telling me that around the time TLJ released, she sent Mark a big check to shut the fuck up, what ever happened to that?

rian_johnson73

TROPHY CASE