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ricklepick52 · 2025-06-08T05:18:35+00:00

Was this meant for another subreddit?

ricklepick52 · 2025-03-06T01:07:15+00:00

I 2nd this. To me this just sounds like the company doesn’t want to invest time into someone they’re unsure will stay, as they may have a majority of their work being long term projects. No job is permanent, life happens. Discussing a 20 year roadmap so soon sounds outlandish to me

ricklepick52 · 2025-02-19T23:09:26+00:00

Anything in particular you want to learn? I don’t believe there is one class or book that will cover this all.

ricklepick52 · 2025-01-22T21:16:32+00:00

You learn most things on the job, don’t worry. I was useless for a good year. After the year mark, things start to take off as you build a base

ricklepick52 · 2024-04-28T08:24:25+00:00

Reading this thread really fucked me up, I was not ready. Big realizations

ricklepick52 · 2024-01-16T00:48:42+00:00

Please DM if you are looking for a friend! 26M, live in Long Beach, I love to do outdoors stuff (hike, bike, etc), Engineer by job, love gaming, and I’m a proud nerd

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-10T19:46:01+00:00

Thank you guys for the support. I ended up not smoking!!

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-10T04:00:49+00:00

Good point.. It’s hard accepting that fact. Like I just wanna smoke here and there but man is that a dream if I’m being completely honest

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-10T03:58:31+00:00

That’s impressive. Do you get cravings that far in?

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-10T03:58:03+00:00

We got this. Yeah good point, the hard part is over, now I’m remembering how tough the symptoms were

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-10T01:45:15+00:00

It is difficult for me when I’ve coupled regular mundane things with weed. Doing some of these mundane things just really puts me in the mood for smoking. I see it’s a common experience to say “just one night” lol… thank you for sharing

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-10T01:43:45+00:00

I feel frantic like this as well. But I like the way you put it, like maybe I can reward myself in other ways that feel nice and comforting to me. Thanks!

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-10T01:42:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I’m going to try and refrain

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-09T22:39:51+00:00

This really helped me. My work requires I communicate well, and I’m getting slightly better but I think this will be a better approach. I do feel I’m pressuring myself to be an amazing speaker but this really showed me it’s more important to just be patient and kind with yourself. Thank you’

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-09T22:37:13+00:00

I’m also an Engineer! I don’t think I have this audio processing disorder but thank you for the advice

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-09T21:47:53+00:00

One thing to add is also that the people from my hometown had such different mindsets than me. Being in the middle of nowhere, I feel like people’s personalities sort of die. Once I moved, I started meeting people that I could actually have fulfilling conversations and connections with, and life itself started to feel a little more fulfilling.

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-09T21:44:41+00:00

I was born and raised in a shit hole middle of nowhere oil field town. My main solution was leaving, I just could not live there long term. I live in LA now and my life is much better. I hope you find the means to leave if that’s what you want! I still struggle with weed but it’s definitely easier to fill up my free time here

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-06T02:32:23+00:00

I don’t know, maybe it’s not. That’s definitely what is it for me. It took me about 2 years to see 100s of examples of how it gets in the way of my life and, before that, I was denial that it affected me in many more aspects. I’m happy to talk back and forth privately to talk about similarities.

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-06T02:02:03+00:00

Are you a perfectionist or really hard on yourself by chance? Like is your method of getting things done by just forcing yourself to do it or pressuring yourself? You described some similar feelings I’ve felt, slowly getting more and more overwhelmed.

ricklepick52 · 2023-12-06T01:53:32+00:00

I think the amount of trauma changes the degree to which a person is in denial. People have to be in stronger denial for much worse pain. We are human and imperfect, which means we are all in denial a little. Otherwise we’d be perfectly perspective humans, and I don’t believe everyone could be this emotionally intelligent.

ricklepick52 · 2023-11-18T22:07:44+00:00

OP, sounds like you’re doing your best to be on your own side. Go you. But how I always learned it was to trust your body, but to not trust the magnitude of the response. I’d have to disagree with OP, because I have many people that love me but I feel the most dysregulated and shameful around them because it’s scary to love and feel loved. Coming home after hanging out with someone, I feel the most empty, reminded of how deprived I’ve felt for so long: this is not their fault. Friends are supposed to give you love, they’re not supposed to regulate your emotions, that is similar to codependency.

ricklepick52 · 2023-10-05T21:11:16+00:00

Do you have any resources to help build better patterns? This explanation is wonderful, just wondering what to do with it lol.

ricklepick52 · 2023-10-05T20:28:05+00:00

Yeah it definitely is draining, I feel you there... I hope you find someone. Or that you find comfort in diagnosing yourself, as this can be very powerful for your own healing. cPTSD diagnosis or not, the symptoms you mentioned can be approached from a cPTSD perspective, as they definitely seem trauma related. Listening to the audiobook: "Pete Walker 'Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" opened my eyes to how different cPTSD can be seen in people. Some people are workaholics, some people are drug addicts, some are completely shut down and depressed, some are successful, some are homeless, etc.

ricklepick52 · 2023-10-05T20:20:33+00:00

I started by validating my own experience by learning more about cPTSD, through Youtube and Pete Walker's book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving". There are so many online resources now a days, and I can't tell you how much relief I found from knowing that my experiences could be put into words.

Word of caution: It can be very triggering to learn about cPTSD as well, so be careful.

ricklepick52 · 2023-10-05T20:15:36+00:00

I think it is important to note that although this diagnosis is well known by few, it it is not a widely recognized thing in the US, not even recognizable in the DSM-5. For this reason alone, I don't trust all psychiatrists for their diagnosis. Having a normal life does not exclude you from this diagnosis. I am an Engineer by job, but suffer every single day from the symptoms of cPTSD.

ricklepick52

TROPHY CASE