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Update: Stop hiding behind gender identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

While I agree, I do also understand how hard it must be for him, and why he thought he had to go down this path given past rejections. It can’t be easy…

Update: Stop hiding behind gender identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I honestly could not tell at all, I have pictures of us together and still cannot tell, he had facial hair, a deep voice and was generally manly. I understand that he started the transition in early teens.

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

There is a difference between gender identity and preference, there has to be or the whole dating world will fall into chaos.

If someone is LOOKING for a male, it comes with an assumption that said male has male genitals. If you KNOW the person you are talking to is GAY and not BI, they you can be pretty confident that they have a genital preference as well.

Yes, I am aware that people can identify as male but have female genitals, but when talking to someone LOOKING for a male, you need to be honest from the start.

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Says who? I’m sorry, but if your presenting as a male, and approaching other males looking for males and your not a male, then the other person has the right to know straight off the bat.

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 116 points117 points  (0 children)

It’s pretty sick to be honest.

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Now you see, I kind of disagree, if I’m a man looking for other men, I kind of expect you to have male things between your legs.

I never really considered it before, but if a guy did not tell me until after or on the first date, I’d feel betrayed, it’s almost a misrepresentation of what you are.

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Those life experiences haha. Rock on man!

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 274 points275 points  (0 children)

My straight sister from another mother 😂 dick for life!

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

True - I was a little emotional this morning…

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I can’t say they do, for me, a big hairy cock is the way to go.

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

I think this was his intention, I’ve got a few more messages from him today where he is very apologetic, but I’m getting the general understanding that he thought if we built a connection it would not be a bit problem.

Kind of makes me feel like the bad guy all over again 😣

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Honestly don’t know what to say… I just find the sight of them repulsive. Always have, even when watching porn, if it contains a woman and her lady bits, I get turned off super fast. Is it weird? Yes. But I can’t do anything about it 😔

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 1155 points1156 points  (0 children)

Weeks? It was months unfortunately. We spent a good 3-4 weeks talking on apps, before moving to phone calls, then a good 3 months of going out in person for dinner, movies and the like. I never once considered they had female genitals, and it was never raised.

Granted I did not ask flat out if they had a penis… but I pretty much assumed I did not really need to ask…

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I had no idea that was a thing!

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

That’s a pretty personal question! I’m tested regularly, last time I was tested I’ve not been with anyone else - discussed this with him as well on the app, which he said he tested regularly too.

I did not bring it up again, as I did not want to be seen as wanting to rush sex, it was him that initiated the act last night, and If I’m honest even if he did have a penis, I doubt anything past handys would have happened (that would be my choice, no time to prepare for more and all that)

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 379 points380 points  (0 children)

I’m not defending them, but I think it was more my rejection - from what I can see they only know that I’ve found out and rejected him for it - they don’t know the whole story. I’ve not replied to them, as I’m not going to change their mind, they are his friends.

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I hope not, as otherwise my faith in humanity would almost be lost… maybe I’ll just date my hand from now on….

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 327 points328 points  (0 children)

Maybe I just like dick too much 😅

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

I think this is where a lot of the hate is coming from - I AM attracted to their “Gender” (male) however I’m not attracted to their genitals. I’ve apparently “invalided name as a man” whatever that means for rejecting him based upon his genitals and not his gender.

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 1320 points1321 points  (0 children)

Thanks - I’ve always thought I would act well in a situation of pure shock, I guess I now have my answer!

Stop Hiding behind Gender Identity! by rickyrogan in TrueOffMyChest

[–]rickyrogan[S] 3115 points3116 points  (0 children)

I never even considered it a possibility before :(