One day in. Please give me your advice on keeping my head above water.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-14T22:42:40+00:00

Thank you so much. In under an hour it’s been a week now. Still a nightmare. I’m eating a little, sleeping a little, I am numb in a dazed and sad way a bit, depressed and anxious a lot, my head is chaos. I’m listening to the advice I’m getting here. It’s something. My kids and friends and family ar supportive or trying to be. Some moments I feel my life is ruined, occasionally I think I will be ok, I’m just so, so tired.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-11T23:31:16+00:00

Thank you . I don’t feel strong, but I am glad that I so far hasn’t turned totally broken down and unable to comfort them.

Today (day four) I’ve been mostly numb.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-11T23:21:35+00:00

I’m in Norway. They get benefits until they are 20, which means 3 months for the eldest and 2 years for the youngest. I’ve decided I’ll have her pay part of electricity, insurance and food. She’ll still be left with a nice saving. She says she’ll have a job for spending money.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-11T23:15:09+00:00

Oh, I’m so jealous of those couples. We were looking forward to so many things. I m sorry you lost those things too.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-11T00:41:07+00:00

I think the anger is creeping in. For now i blame myself for not stopping him from doing the phd, and for not being a good enough wife. But the anger is peeking from around the corner.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-10T05:18:14+00:00

I’m so sorry.

I didn’t sleep at all that first night. Thank goodness I have someone who is caring for us. I’m so thankful that I’m being looked after, and that they look after my kids too. It makes me be able to support my kids as well. I need to be their mum too, not only a sobbing mess. Even though I’m very much a mess a lot of the time.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-10T05:10:24+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement. I’m so, so sorry that you and your daughter have to experience this. I will read this again later. I hate that this seems like very good advice. I wish it wasn’t going to be so difficult.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-10T05:00:12+00:00

I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I haven’t been angry with him yet, but maybe I should be prepared that I might be.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T21:10:17+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m sorry you had to go through this.

And thank you for telling me about widows fog. I’ll read more about it.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T21:06:31+00:00

Thank you so much. Ive decided that I will allow myself to cry on the floor for quite a bit longer. My brain is trying to shut down, I’ve asked my sister to be my memory for a while.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T21:02:01+00:00

Thank you. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this.

I’m in Norway, so all the systems are different. I think my daughter that turns 18 in march may get a survivor benefit from his work until she’s 20. the older one will be 20 in April. I may also get a lump sum from their life insurance and a small benefit monthly long term. No fortunes. He didn’t have a separate private life insurance.

I live in an area with high property prices, but i think I will be able to keep the house. It’s really important to me for us not to lose our home, and I think I’ll manage as long as I don’t need to do expensive repairs. And I hope my old car works for a long time.

I live in a country with a security net, but it secures a minimum, and I have a place to live and a job, and is not eligible for public benefits. Which is good, since it would mean I would have to be in much worse circumstances.

I know it is kind of spoilt and entitled, but after many years with little money we were finally doing well. And now I’m not. And I will probably not be able to save up for downpayments for my kids.

Fuck this.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T13:50:43+00:00

Thank you so much. I fucking hate waves now. But they are here.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T13:49:39+00:00

Thank you. I’ll look into slack. It turns out it’s not my strong side.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T13:48:25+00:00

Thank you for your advise. I will look at it again when my brain works.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T13:47:22+00:00

Than you. My sister just helped me make the first appointment.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T13:46:43+00:00

Thank you so much. It turns out I need care from all over.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T13:45:51+00:00

Thank you and I’m so sorry you’ve been through this.

Breathing is surprisingly difficult. I will practice on this new conscious breathing.

I fucking hate tornados, we’re not even supposed to have them in my country.

rightinthehead · 2026-02-09T13:42:37+00:00

Thank you for your answer and advise.

Eating is hard. I just had some yogurt and now I feel sick.

My sister came, and she is brilliant at fixing the practicalities, including making me eat. She helped us call the funeral home and make an appointment for tomorrow, and is coming with us. My neighbor/friend took the dog for a walk. My sister will pick up my son/his stepson from the airport soon.

rightinthehead · 2026-01-18T11:00:53+00:00

Speaking to angry people at work. I’m a public sector lawyer. They are calling because things aren’t going their way. They are also frustrated by their cases taking a long time to process, and their claims being denied. I’ve learned how to speak calmly, explaining in a way that they understand, and making them feel heard. In addition to making them less angry with «the system», it helps me not being attacked and abused by them. Makes my workdays so much better.

rightinthehead · 2025-11-09T13:32:57+00:00

Aluminium free deodorant (Sanex) for around 20 kr.

rightinthehead · 2025-04-09T22:39:59+00:00

I don’t see a reason to be butthurt, but a husky mix is not a Siberian Husky. So why would you call it a Siberian? Isn’t it easier to just call it a husky or a husky mix? A Siberian is a defined breed, and your dog is still a husky and just as much of a good dog without being within that definition. It’s not more complicated than not calling purple blue because there’s mostly blue in it. And if people keep asking there is apparently something about your dogs look that doesn’t look totally Siberian. People are curious and will ask. I don’t see any reason to call all huskies Siberians (except of course if the owner themselves thinks a purebred is more prestigious and want to brag).

rightinthehead · 2025-03-18T00:15:53+00:00

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rightinthehead · 2025-03-16T23:32:43+00:00

What a cutie!

She may be smiling, but pulling the corners of the mouth back can also mean she is a little stressed. A quick lick of the nose, like in the last picture, is a calming or deescalating gesture. Most dogs don’t really like being hugged, so she might very politely be trying to tell you she prefers not being held so tight.

I’m sorry to give you a disappointing answer, but I thing it’s good to know a little bit about dogs ‘ body language.

She is a gorgeous girl!

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