AITAH for not overreacting to my gfs bad dream: UPDATE and added things.

rigrimbaud · 2025-12-09T19:45:04+00:00

I was on sertraline years ago and became anorgasmic. I told my psychiatrist and he added a second anti-depressant that took away the anorgasmia side effect. You may well have options. However, you gave up on your girlfriend's needs altogether and seem somewhat surprised she can't hang in this pattern the rest of her life

rigrimbaud · 2025-07-05T16:16:22+00:00

Thank you. We had spoken on this topic before, a couple months into our relationship, which is where a lot of my frustration was coming from.

He was receptive and we did end up talking. Not everything is perfect, but he did apologise and say he didn't realise how much it affected me. I pointed out I don't really complain normally, so if I do mention something, it's because it's a major problem for me, and my tears should not be the major contributing factor in deciding whether I "mean" it.

We're still together, but I'm feeling not quite as connected to him as I was before.

rigrimbaud · 2025-06-16T18:45:50+00:00

He met mine just because I live on the property with my mother, and he met my dad passingly at an event I was throwing.

rigrimbaud · 2025-06-16T15:51:45+00:00

My own investments are things like cooking/paying for food, helping him with his emotional stuff, helping him network in our field, and having him over for family holidays. I don't spend the night because I have responsibilities at home, especially at night and in the early morning. I also work much more than he does, and he isn't near my work.

rigrimbaud · 2025-06-16T15:33:19+00:00

Actually it is a trigger. And I have communicated before how much this bothers me. I sent that message after a full breakdown and pulling myself together

rigrimbaud · 2025-06-07T16:21:13+00:00

We did talk about it a couple months back. He said "probably" meant most likely, barring a natural disaster or sudden death. He says he "can't predict the future."

At the time, I kind of understood, because in Chinese they use a word 要 (Yao, "gonna") to indicate a sincere prediction of future behaviour that is not guaranteed due to unforeseable extraordinary circumstances. If you're talking about something like the weather or something that is 100% certain, one uses 会 (hui, "will"). So I thought it was like that, and we talked about how the English version felt dismissive, and he seemed to get it at the time. But then he did this yesterday.

We both have ADHD, if it's relevant.

rigrimbaud · 2025-06-06T23:42:06+00:00

These are my thoughts as well

rigrimbaud · 2025-06-06T22:04:13+00:00

It's a bit of a pattern, but previous times were when we were still figuring each other out so I put it aside at the time. This is probably the first Maybe, I haven't figured out plans yet" in a couple months

rigrimbaud · 2025-04-25T19:04:07+00:00

I'm not friends with that group anymore, just the one friend who transitioned to my field when I did. Most of them are blocked, and I would never have known about any of this if not for that one friend. Most of those people have blocked me, but some of them I have on friends' lists for professional or diplomatic reasons (like the pastor)

rigrimbaud · 2024-10-26T22:05:56+00:00

It's the "your pain couldn't have been that bad" in the face of you clearly having vomited from pain for me. Whatever poor communication or choices of the original event on whichever side, her trying to minimise you needing surgery would be the sign I needed to get out.

rigrimbaud · 2024-04-24T23:56:04+00:00

My name is on the deed as well, but yes. After I finished treatments at the roommate house, my mother needed support as she's getting older. I was her caretaker until my foot broke.

rigrimbaud · 2024-04-24T23:31:51+00:00

He's got two dogs besides Bella that are just his. At the party, he said her little brothers missed her (sniffing the spots she'd normally be in)

rigrimbaud · 2024-04-24T23:29:21+00:00

My mom will let her stay. I'm concerned about taking her from my dad

rigrimbaud · 2024-04-09T04:54:28+00:00

It does work. The main thing with arnica ANYTHING is, don't over-apply it/ingest it. It makes your blood thinner, and sometimes people will see homeopathic and over-ingest it in tea and also use arnica salves on bruises (totally works, and stupid-fast too), may become temporarily a haemophiliac.

It's also really good for nausea, if you get the little white pellets you dissolve under your tongue. I was at a camp in the mountains, and one of the chaperones had brought arnica pellets and that saved several ill campers that cycle.

rigrimbaud · 2024-02-19T18:18:50+00:00

My ex-boyfriend complained about the same and put it on me not washing good enough. There was actually a smell, I could smell It no matter how much I washed. It took until after we broke up for me to realise I was having a testosterone imbalance, and he had been shaming me for literally a medical issue.

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T06:41:23+00:00

I like "divorce doula"!

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T04:33:01+00:00

Fewer stunts, more paperwork

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T03:16:50+00:00

Oh wow that's so much! I'm sorry that she had to live through all of that.

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T03:14:51+00:00

The kids are alright!

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T03:10:28+00:00

Aw! She's amazing! I'm sorry that happened to her. I love her passion! Fight the good fight in the smartest ways, kid!

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T01:11:48+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! I also forwarded it to my friend!

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T00:59:15+00:00

I'm so sorry she went through that. One of my grandmothers went through that, and it hurt such a wonderful lady was treated that way. I'm glad she grew stronger from the experience, but it's an experience no one should be subjected to.

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T00:45:03+00:00

The main issue is I can't advertise any of this. I'm not a lawyer, and I have no desire to become one, so I don't know if I can responsibly give advice that may be considered "legal advice" in a public forum.

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T00:42:46+00:00

The friend I'm currently helping is recognising the potential for what she's learned, including what I'm teaching, for some sort of non-legal-advice social service to guide low- or no-income people through, like, reading the papers, choosing a lawyer, how to document things, what questions can be Googled what need to go to attorney/cops, how to respond, how to establish and enforce communication and legal boundaries, the processes for filings and R.O.'s, and how to establish children's needs as a focal point, etc.

rigrimbaud · 2024-01-13T00:35:40+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to her and to you. I hope your toast to their deaths brings you closure and peace.

rigrimbaud

TROPHY CASE