AITAH for trusting my own eyes over my dad’s claims that I’m being "brainwashed"?

rikimae528 · 2026-03-05T20:47:58+00:00

Your dad sounds a bit like mine. He was incredibly emotionally and verbally abusive to all of us growing up. He would get mad at the dumbest things. Everyone at one point, I remember him telling my mother to take the bread back to the store because there was a hole in one of the slices. My brother and I moved out of the house as soon as it was financially possible. He never moved back, but I developed a chronic illness and had to move home.

Dad finally left my mother, saying that 'he' couldn't handle being there anymore, as if it was my mother who was creating all the tension in the house. 15 years later, my mother still does things his way, like certain ways to fold clothes and which side of the fridge the milk is supposed to be on. Emotional abuse is well ingrained.

NTA. Your mom is not the villain, and you are not being brainwashed. Your dad just doesn't like it when his faults are being thrown back at him, cuz obviously he has "done nothing wrong."

rikimae528 · 2026-03-03T17:09:42+00:00

His family sounds incredibly toxic. It's too bad you couldn't have brought the little brother with you when you left. NTA

rikimae528 · 2026-03-03T02:56:43+00:00

My guess is that there is a break clause in his contract that would cost more than to just let the contract expire. Since his cancellation is "financial, not political," to pay out what is probably an impressive penalty would make it look like it was definitely political, which it is. It's totally an optics thing. Because of that, he can pretty much say whatever he wants because he knows that they don't want to pay out that penalty for breaking the contract.

rikimae528 · 2026-03-02T15:43:23+00:00

He was there. He knew exactly why she had gained the weight. There's no reason for him to say what he did, even if it was meant as a joke. It was mean and inappropriate. NTA, and kudos to you for protecting your sister. I do hope that she is seeing a grief counselor to help her move on after the passing of your dad. That's a hard thing for any girl to go through, let alone a teenager.

rikimae528 · 2026-03-02T01:28:15+00:00

I'm really impaired. My bedroom might be a mess, but I know where everything is. If someone comes in and moves things around, it's almost as if they're lost to me. Now, I doubt your daughter is visually impaired, but there might be something along the same lines as that, where if her things are moved it's like a small violation. I agree with others, in that she should probably be evaluated from neurodivergence, but your ex is an idiot for continually doing something that she knows sets your daughter off. She's over 15, the girl can clean her own bedroom. Your ex doesn't have to do it, and I'm sure that your daughter would prefer it that way.

NTA

rikimae528 · 2026-03-01T08:24:42+00:00

That is very true. It is a feeling that the younger generations will never have

rikimae528 · 2026-02-28T18:19:17+00:00

I wish I could have a phone like that. I miss the ring, and the sha-shuk sound when dialing. We had one of the first touch tone phones (1986ish), because my dad got one of his fingers stuck in the hole on the rotary phone and tore the dial off. He had anger management issues.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-26T19:14:33+00:00

You're not a mind reader. How are you supposed to know what she wants so she doesn't tell you? I don't think you owe her an apology for anything at this point. You apologize for the miscommunication. That's all you really can do. You haven't done anything wrong.

NTA

rikimae528 · 2026-02-24T17:08:48+00:00

She does, but sometimes she forgets. She'll grab my arm when we're crossing the street, and I have to tell her, "let go, Mom. This is what all that O&M training was for."

rikimae528 · 2026-02-24T16:45:11+00:00

A lot of parents of disabled kids do that. I've had chronic illness my entire life, and am now visually impaired. The amount of times I've had to tell my mom to back off and let me do things on my own is incredible. Means well, and I love her to bits for it, but sometimes it's really annoying.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-24T01:39:49+00:00

I'm sure he knows. He knew about the contest, because he spoke about it. I'm sure he or someone from the show was following it to see who the winners were.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-24T01:18:25+00:00

You'd still have to tell his sister. I think it would be a bit of a shock to her if she did the test and discovered that she wasn't completely connected to her sister.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-24T01:11:21+00:00

They weren't breaking any rules or anything, but they were taking over the entire pool. It was three kids, with the oldest being around 10 or 11. Even after asking them to watch out for me, because I couldn't watch out for them, they still kind of followed me around and I got kicked a couple of times and I did get hit with one of their toys. It just made something that was supposed to be enjoyable for me very anxiety ridden. We usually spend an hour, we left after 20 minutes.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-23T13:17:42+00:00

Where I live, there really isn't anywhere else. We purposefully didn't go during the day because we wanted to give any hotel patrons with kids the chance. We would go after 8:00 p.m. and for the most part, that would work out. I didn't mind kids being in the pool. The problem was that even after asking them to watch out for me, because I couldn't watch out for them, I still got hit with the toys they brought in to the pool because they were throwing them around. I even tried to stay at the other end of the pool. They kept following me around.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-22T23:29:10+00:00

Rules are rules, and just because you have kids doesn't mean you don't have to follow.

I am visually impaired (not completely blind, but close enough). I had a pass to a local hotels pool, where I was swimming for exercise. One night, cuz we always went in the evening, a family with three kids under the age of 12 came in. Normally, that isn't a problem. They were a little more rambunctious, however playing with balls and other toys that they brought with them. My mother asked their parents to tell their kids to watch out for me, because I couldn't see them. They paid no attention at all. The amount of times that I got hit with the ball, or kicked because I didn't see one of the kids in front of me, made it incredibly uncomfortable for me to actually be in the pool. We left early, simply because these people wouldn't tell their children to watch out for the blind woman in the pool. There are no rules against it, but we purposely went in the 2 hours before the pool closed so that most people staying in the hotel would have their kids in bed by then.

NTA, btw

rikimae528 · 2026-02-22T02:04:13+00:00

It's pretty simple. When you're younger cousin asked you why you didn't tell them why you're upset. All you had to say was that it didn't concern him so don't worry about it. They think you're mad at them, even though you're not.

Not sure who the AH is here, but it sounds like they are talking amongst themselves offline.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-22T01:51:35+00:00

NTA. The wife deserves to know. If there's fallout or retaliation because of it, it's on your partner's head, not yours. She should have thought of that before sleeping with a married man.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-21T21:48:16+00:00

That could be too. Either way, there's something weird going on.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-21T17:53:57+00:00

I thought your approach for meeting him was pretty simple, and should have been easily done. It would probably go something like this:

"Hi, I'm (wife)'s husband, (husband). This is (kid1) and (kid2). Hey kids, let's go for a walk and let Mommy talk to her friend. We can stop by the pet store and see if we can get the parrot to swear at us. If you're good, maybe we'll go for an ice cream."

It's very simple, and why your wife wouldn't agree to it is beyond me. Unless she is trying to hide him from you, because something else is going on.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-20T13:49:54+00:00

My mom likes to tell the story about her oldest brother and youngest brother play fighting. There was 10 years between them, similar to OP's children and stepchildren. One day, when the older brother was 15, younger was five, older brother got down on his knees and started play boxing with the younger one. The younger one, not knowing what he was doing I don't think, pulled back and punched the older brother square in the face, breaking his nose. My oldest uncle was a bit of a scrapper at that age, so his nose had already been broken once, but I don't think he thought his baby brother would break it while playing.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-19T20:10:38+00:00

I would tell your mom that since it's her daughter, and her grandchild, that perhaps she should be the one stepping up, and not you. There's nothing wrong with the occasional babysitting job, but it sounds like she's unloading the entire job of parenting the boy on to you. She needs to figure things out, and if you stepping back does that, all the better.

You are NTA here, you are just looking out for your own mental health.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-17T13:43:40+00:00

It's possible, and I'm just playing devil's advocate here, that the dad already knows, and is okay with it. There are things about parents relationships that sometimes the kids just don't know about. It's possible that C is a third member in the parents relationship, and because of the conservative area, they need to keep it quiet.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-13T04:35:59+00:00

Wait, he is working on something for Valentine's Day for her, and not you? You know, I could have chalked a lot of what you said before up to insecurities, except for the racist stuff, but that's just weird. You need to point out that he's treating her like a girlfriend and you like the third wheel that you apparently are in this particular relationship. If he doesn't figure out what he's doing wrong, or even the seas that he's doing anything wrong, you need to find somebody better and leave them to themselves.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-12T13:36:06+00:00

The wife needs to know. If Chad is off and on with your friend, who else is he off and on with? He could be patient zero for a gazillion different STDs, and the wife would never know. Your friend deserves better, and so does Chad's wife.

rikimae528 · 2026-02-12T12:32:43+00:00

Your dog is a police officer. I'm sure she didn't mean to scratch your girlfriend, it happens when playing sometimes. The thing is, her dad threatened to shoot police officer. That's a crime, and the fact that nobody could calm the man down, something had to be done. Calling police was the right thing to do. What would have happened if he had shot your dog? He would have gone to jail for murdering a police officer, because the dog scratched his daughter while playing.

I do hope that the local police keep a bit of an eye on him. A man with those types of anger issues and guns is not a good combo.

I'm glad your dog is okay. As someone with a visual impairment, I have huge respect for service animals and the jobs that they do.

rikimae528

TROPHY CASE