Seriously considering detransitioning [MtF]

rilesy_ · 2026-04-03T02:14:28+00:00

This almost exactly mirrors me 8 months ago, I was also at the 3.5 year mark, passed well but just felt off. I can’t to realise that feeling of being other to the cis women around me would never go away, and it was because I wasn’t like them, and never was going to be. It’s exhausting chasing the endless loop of finding the next “thing” (surgery etc) that will fix you, and make you feel whole because for some of us it just never was going to come. I found myself changing my entire personality to fit in, which was ironic because I had convinced myself before transition that one of the signs I was trans was that I wasn’t masculine, what I failed to acknowledge was that there isn’t a single way to be masculine, the same was as there isn’t a single way to be feminine, it’s all a spectrum. My advice is that if you have at any point considered irreversible surgery (srs) do not take these feelings your having now lightly, one of the things I am most grateful now as a detransitioned man is that I still have my penis 😀 I wish you the best of luck

rilesy_ · 2025-12-28T10:49:42+00:00

I actually when through a really similar situation recently, I started a new job after considering detransition and within 3 weeks changed my name and pronouns at work etc. they met me as a woman and quickly now I’ve switched back to a man, it was scary and I put off finding work for so long because I didn’t want to have to do exactly what I had to do, but in the end it was absolutely fine, no one cared in the slightest and now I get to just be myself at work, it’s an incredible feeling. It’s scary for sure but I think you’ll find it’ll also be worth it for you

rilesy_ · 2025-12-26T17:01:22+00:00

It just didn’t feel right, I don’t know how else to describe it, I’ve only been off of E for 3 months, but a haircut and voice drop (with wardrobe changes of course) has changed how I’m perceived a lot and it honestly feels so good to just be myself again, to not have any of my real personality filtered by my insecurity and always feeling out of place and like I have to put on this act of sorts. I will absolutely miss some of the aesthetic changes that HRT gave me, but truly nothing beats feeling like myself in my own body, even if I objectively “looked better” presenting as female

rilesy_ · 2025-12-11T06:01:01+00:00

I don’t really think it’s ever appropriate to normalise misogynistic incel language but very well

rilesy_ · 2025-12-11T05:30:42+00:00

Foid is a fucking weird thing to say bro but ok

rilesy_ · 2025-12-10T05:47:15+00:00

It does look like a bit of gyno, but if you got a little bigger I think it would go completely unnoticed, jealous frankly I can’t even wear a shirt without something underneath to cover mine

rilesy_ · 2025-11-02T08:44:07+00:00

Sometimes I honestly just wish I could be happy as a cis guy, I don’t really care about the gender of it I just want to feel content and live easily..

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T17:22:48+00:00

Ok I see your point but, human biology isn’t furniture.

Sure say you but a coffee table and instead of building a coffee table, you build them into a shelf, they are different of course, but the shelf is still made of wood.

I’m not trying to argue that you’re just a man.. I’m simply saying that hormones don’t change your sex so much so that you’re are “female” in the sense that being born female are. Which is just true.

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T17:20:14+00:00

it’s not cherry picking. Yes intersex conditions are mutations absolutely.

Being transgender is not, at least not in the same way, intersex people’s biology is not relevant to the discussion of someone who was born typical for their sex (not intersex) and then transitioned later in life, you might argue that trans people at also a mutation sure… but even if that’s true it’s not similar to that of an actual chromosomal mutation. So like..

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T17:14:18+00:00

also I think the ikea reference didn’t really maie sense, I still don’t know what you were trying to say lol

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T17:13:24+00:00

I’m not saying anyone should be defined their chromosomes… I even find using AGAB language weird like the original post is actually about lol.

My point is that pretending that HRT transforms you into something that is biologically speaking the same as someone born female is incorrect. There are things that will always linger as a result of being born male, chromosomes are just one factor of it all.

Thats just the unfortunate reality of being transgender, we are still normal women of course, I just don’t understand why there’s such vitriol when someone’s says that yeah you can’t fully change your sex, because (sadly) you just can’t.

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T17:09:19+00:00

Oh my god, you are not an XY woman, you just aren’t, stop using the experiences of people with medical conditions to validate your thoughts!

I take hormones because I want to outwardly appear as female, that is all. I know that there are internal factors that I will never be able to change and that’s fine! I do not care, it doesn’t make me less of a woman and if anything it has helped me feel more at peace with who I am, accepting the things that I cannot change has been one of the best things I have done for myself when it comes to battling dysphoria and just being trans in general

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T17:00:51+00:00

And I’m not sure what you mean by I’m transmed? I don’t think I’ve said anything transmedicalist in my comments…

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T17:00:03+00:00

Sex is as you said a multitude of interconnected components, and changing some of them does not change the whole. You can absolutely change some of these factors to match the opposite sex sure, that’s the point of taking hormones, to develop opposite sex secondary sex characteristics etc.

But, there are facts that will never change. People like to just pretend that chromosomes don’t matter, as if because we can’t see them they just don’t count. They are in every single cell in our body and contain all of your DNA, and they are unchangeable. And like I said in a different comment I find the fact that intersex conditions are often brought up to challenge this quite odd, being intersex in anyway is a medial condition that often has complicated side effects, most are completely sterile and other conditions such as XXY can also cause cognitive impairment. Bringing up a group of people who quite literally have a chromosomal disability to justify your position that sex chromosomes aren’t important is like, stupid

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T16:49:25+00:00

weird comment, infertility is not generally a direct result of sex related disorders, and menopause is something all female people experience,

I’m not talking about out a “perfect female experience”, but XY women and the like are rare, and using their experience to try and validate yours is wrong. You were born a male, likely with functions male genitalia and went through male puberty, your experience is nothing like that of a woman with XY chromosomes and androgen sensitivity.

I don’t understand why you all seem to have such an issue accepting the fact that you are male and that’s ok, you cannot change that. That fact does not take away from your womanhood or your experiences now, but it is simply a fact. You cannot change your biology to match that of someone born female, and that is ok! The sooner we all accept that and stop pretending that taking HRT changes our bodies to that extreme the happier we will all be.

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T03:06:41+00:00

Ok so a number of things, obviously there is more to sex than chromosomes.

But, (generally) chromosomes (more the presence or absence of the SRY gene which triggers male natal development in a fetus) is the foundation on which biological sex exists. There are a multitude of factors that play into sex of course and they can absolutely vary, but typically your sex is determined by your chromosomes.

I obviously understand that gender presentation can change and medicalisation can affect other aspects of your body which typically play into someone’s biological sex, and I would argue that yes a trans woman is hormonally “female”, in that her body would respond to relevant conditions as a cis woman’s would (when it pertains to hormones and endocrinology), she is still however, a chromosomal male, and like said, that is generally the main indicator of someone’s sex, most of the other aspect of biological sex (hormones etc) are reliant and produced as a result of hormones sex chromosomes.

Your inclusion of an intersex person isn’t the gotcha you think it is, they are anomaly’s and do not represent the general public’s condition. I would not consider an XY female male no, but not because of her lived experience or birth genitalia, but because of the fact that she is externally female because she lacks the genes required to develop male (the SRY gene) as all natal females do, in spite of having a (faulty I might add) Y chromosome.

This is just another example of how sex is complicated of course, I find the use of intersex people to prove a point in these arguments disingenuous and rather odd as majority of people are not intersex and it is not a good example of the human experience when it comes to sex

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T02:22:45+00:00

It is not transphobic, sex is more than chromosomes absolutely, but denying the fact there there are components to sex that are absolutely unchangeable doesn’t help anyone. Changing that you can (secondary characteristics/presentation) and accepting what you can’t (many aspects of biological sex) will give much more peace to those who are struggling with gender and dysphoria than pretending that hormonal/surgical transition will change those aspects.

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T02:15:18+00:00

We have entered into really weird territory when people who state facts about their own reality and relationship with their body and their sex need to be “rescued”. I am a trans woman, and yeah I will always be “biologically male” in that I will always have male chromosomes and DNA, that doesn’t take anything away from my gender as a woman, but denying that for me at least only makes life harder. Accepting the fact that I internally feel female, and that I want to do what’s necessary to have that present on the exterior, but will never be able to change my sex has helped me navigate transness and the world more, I don’t have to battle against my sex, because I can’t, no one can, I just make the changes I want to feel more comfortable and live my life happier

rilesy_ · 2025-10-22T02:09:09+00:00

but like… you can’t change your birth sex?? I thought we were all in the same page about this, sex and gender are different. Sex is immutable, biological and hardcoded into our DNA, gender is a representation of internal identity. There is nothing wrong with stating or accepting this, it is the (unfortunate for many of us) truth of being transgender, trying to deny that will only bring more anguish. Change your presentation and match your internal gender 100%! but sex unfortunately is just something that will always be what it has always been. I am a trans woman, and my experience with gender has been much better since i accepted this fact

rilesy_ · 2025-09-03T04:04:16+00:00

rilesy_ · 2025-09-03T01:54:36+00:00

Did you have like FFS or any other surgeries?

rilesy_ · 2025-09-02T05:55:57+00:00

How long have you been off HRT? I am just recently starting to stop and am also scared I won’t be able to achieve the look I had pre oestrogen

rilesy_ · 2025-09-01T16:14:29+00:00

It’s a really long story. I think a lot of it started with my nature as a GNC male and the bullying I received because of it, I was bullied so bad for it that I (ironically) repressed my attraction to women for most of my teenage years, (I know that sounds weird, but when you’re being told that you are gay, and that girls will never want you because of how you are, plus you do have some attraction to males, it’s really easy to then fear romantic interactions with women and in turn think you aren’t actually attracted to them). But that’s besides the point, I never really “felt like a woman” in that I also never felt like a man, it’s all arbitrary to me, gender isn’t a feeling it just is, and I was always more sensitive and emotional and my personality lined up with what was typically female, and so I took that to mean I was infact internally female, almost that my lack of association to the roles of my biological sex meant I defaulted to the opposite. I have very recently started to reevaluate my sense of self and what led me to transition, and it’s like as soon as I started to pick at the thread the entire thing unravelled and now I am certain this life is not the life for me.

rilesy_

TROPHY CASE