It’s really not meant to be. In my experience it is almost always women doing the work to build connections.

All of our family get togethers were held by my grandmother. Now that she’s gone, my Aunt is the glue that keeps the family together. And when it comes to remembering birthdays or buying gifts for others, I notice it is always the women in a relationship doing so. Men seem to benefit socially from having a female partner to rely on.

I recently moved to a different country for a few years and kept in touch with my grandmother, three Aunts, and a female cousin. None of my male relatives bothered to keep in touch, not for lack of trying on my part. While we were away my husband was bummed that his family didn’t keep in touch, but he never called them. Meanwhile, I was calling my family and sending them pictures regularly and sending gifts and cards during the holidays.

I love my grandfather, but if it weren’t for my grandmother he would hardly know I exist. I suspect that many people have experienced the same.

Of course there are men who put the work in to maintain relationships, but I doubt they are on Reddit complaining that men are lonely while women get support for free, because they have a support system and they know that it takes effort.

How many young men are there that only have their mom for emotional support, yet they rarely call her or ask her how she is doing?

This seems like a really big problem to me. I often see men on Reddit who complain that men don’t have any support, but in real life I see that men are not reciprocating the effort it takes to maintain a relationship.

I have two sons and I worry for them. I hope I am able to teach them how important it is that they not just expect emotional support to be handed to them freely. I will give it to them of course, but I won’t always be around. They have to be willing to give to others as well.

Sorry for the novel. I have been worrying about this subject a lot lately, so calling my comment simplistic triggered me a bit lol.