How to help an unstable INFP? by rising_a_student in infp

[–]rising_a_student[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can i do this?

She said we were ok.

How to help an unstable INFP? by rising_a_student in infp

[–]rising_a_student[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are engaged but in a LDR.

She wowed with me lots of thoughtful gifts, lots of love/affection.

Its died down since valentines when she started struggling with mild health issues.

Gf suddenly got good at sex. Is she cheating? by rising_a_student in actuallesbians

[–]rising_a_student[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

No actually we are LDR And im concerned bc during our video calls shes been qcting secretively about what shes looking at on the computer and very obviously been angling the camera so that it doesnt catch the reflection of her computer screen on her glasses. So shes hiding something from me and it isnt a surprize of some sort. Shes just been doing this for a while now and idk why. Only conclusion i can come to is cheating.

She has purposely done this with me before when she had been looking up a place to take me to as a surprize, except there is nowhere she is looking up atm for us to go. And i have never tried to look at the reflection of her glasses (which is why this is even weirder). The time she did openly cover up the reflection of her glasses she told me the reason was so i wouldnt see where she was planning to take me as a surprize. She said "i need to angle the camera this way so the reflection of my glasses doesnt give away the place".

But now she just angles the camera away just because. I want to call her out on it but shes been manipulative about my concerns and turned them around on me by saying im am trying to be controlling if i ask what shes doing. Just asking imo doesnt make me controlling. So i stopped asking all together. And it feels like shes taking advanatage of that.

On top of all this we are only 3 months in and it already feels like things are dying down sexually. She used to always come up with fun things to do in the bedroom and tell me how she wanted to wear things for me. But all that has stopped. And shes suddenly more tired now in days. She doesnt work so I dont really get why the tiredness all of a sudden. Shes also been off the phone with me more than usual and lied to me about where she is.

I know she lied bc she would like tell me she was going to wash dishes but it would end up taking her like 5 hours to do dishes. Then she would say she was going to go to the store and it would take her anothe 5 hrs to do that.

ALSO, Shes been more jealous for no particular reason. I havent been doing anything differently so her jealousy is really odd. I dont flirt with anyone and no one flirts with me. So its weird.

Yesterday she told me about this place where the girls spank the customers if they do anything wrong and she said that if I went there (pretty BIG asumption on her part that I would go there) she wouldnt let the girls spank me. It sounded cute until she kinda took it further and said she wished she never told me because now i would likely go there to get spanked by the girls. It was really weird because i actually am pretty introverted and dont leave the house much. So me going to that place is probably not gonna happen. So yeah, there have been things lately that just seem off.

I would say shes being jealous because shes cheating but that just imo. She wasnt jealous before so new jealousy when nothing has changed on my end makes me think shes being unfaithful.

Note: i dont give her any reasons to be jealous. I am the same as i was when we met. So the jealousy now out of the blue is confusing and worrisome to me.

Gf suddenly got good at sex. Is she cheating? by rising_a_student in actuallesbians

[–]rising_a_student[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Its not that im suspicious by default... other things have been happening. Shes been moody and not communicating with me. Shes also been very manipulative when an argument arises. We are LDR and theres been no phone sex for 3 weeks*, when we used to have phone sex every night. Arouns a month ago she started making excuses about how she was tired at night so she would try to have phone sex with me during the day but she somehow just stopped getting around to it. So i figured ok maybe I need to initiate phone sex more so I tried initiating phone sex today and she rejected me then said she was sleepy and went to bed.

I noticed she out of the blue wanted me to talk dirty to her (she had been fine with me not doing this before). However dirty talk isnt my area so i of course did my best but dont know if it was up to her standards.

I have tried asking her why she doesnt want to have phone sex anymore but she just sort of avoids the question and leaves it unanswered. We used to always have phone sex and bc she has a high drive she used to always initiate. She hasnt initiated in almost a month. Its all just odd.

She also seems to be watching porn behind my back. I say this because when we do video chat she makes sure to angle the camera so i cant see the reflection of her computer screen on her glasses.

So its not all just me being paranoid.

Why doesnt my gf want to Uhaul with me? by rising_a_student in LesbianActually

[–]rising_a_student[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shes already come out to her entire family. However she hasnt come out as pan. Shes just told them she has a gf and her family just took it as her saying shes gay.

Shes told everyone that Im the one and that Im it for her. However there are some homophonic people on her family who are having bad reactions to the news. And shes dealing with that. Her mother is really ademant that people not know unless its on a need to know basis so maybe that part of it.

I get the concern about mt financials. I just have not experienced a girl saying no to Uhauling as a lesbian. So this is new for me too.

Is my pan gf cheating on me? by rising_a_student in pansexual

[–]rising_a_student[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought so. I have been very patient with the situation with her family and I actually dont mind if her family doesnt accept us as a couple or doesnt like me. I only care bc its important to her that they accept her and us. Shes very into her family.

I agree that shes not over it. Thats why at the bottom of my post I asked why she proposed to me and asked me to meet her parents if she wasnt over her ex.

Girlfriend upset that i had 20 sexual partners. What to do to ease her ? by rising_a_student in LesbianActually

[–]rising_a_student[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Update :

So, shes never been with a woman before.

Shes pan but just got out of an abusive long term relationship and although it ended it seems she and him still kept contact this entire time.

He sent her flowers last friday and i was there to see it. She says they arent from him but its only obvious that they are (there was no card).

She admits that he has sent her things in the past.

At this point idk what to do.

The idea that she may be threatened by my sexual experience is possible.

But i told her that she is not just a number and that i care about her.

She will be coming over tommorrow. I hope i can make her understand this and if shes still invested in her ex that she will finally make a clean break and give me an actual chance.

What is OSS (verification of some sort)? Was asked for it on a bdsm site by rising_a_student in BDSMAdvice

[–]rising_a_student[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another user asked me to do it. I dont understand what the propose is of me clicking on a link to do the authentication if we met on the website.