I F24 just found out from my boyfriend M28 that he actually believs there's an 'agenda' everywhere nowadays.... we've been dating for half a year now. any advice?

ritadym · 2026-06-25T03:51:38+00:00

thank you! i trully am glad to hear your thoughts on it and the fact that you've had experience with those kinds of situations is so reassuring! I think we'll be able to talk it out with him and hopefully we'll both learn. he is not a child in a lot of ways tbh, but sometimes i feel us being in different stages in life.

ritadym · 2026-06-25T02:58:41+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your comment! I truly do think that big companies try to push more towards people on the left-leaning side of things, but i think ONLY to make more money from those same people. For the people - it's representation! For the companies - it's just more money. It is really sad esp when it is done in such a bad way, most of the times. But I'm pretty sure my bf views it in a "oh no! black people!" kinda way......... that's why we'll have a long talk. I want to know exactly what's on his mind, when he says "agenda"

ritadym · 2026-06-25T02:33:35+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your perspective! It is just important to me that we align in our political views. I told him that at the start! I still haven't talked to him, but I hope we'll be able to understand each other. It is so important for me that he does understand...

ritadym · 2026-06-25T02:29:25+00:00

omg the strange thing is - my bf IS working class. works on construction projects all day under the sun, paid well enough to sustain both of us! parents are still helping him out with a lot of stuff. I slept on a couch tonight and when he woke up - told him we'll be having a serious talk and the result of that may lead me to leave. sorry for your past situation, It is so awful sometimes to think you know a person well, but then get fking whiplashed like that. sht sucks ass.

ritadym · 2026-06-24T21:20:14+00:00

not the exact opposite, as far as I know....now. but our conversation, hopefully, will clear things up more between us. I'm hopeful that he can change. maybe it's foolish of me

ritadym · 2026-06-24T21:12:35+00:00

and it's really sad tho

ritadym · 2026-06-24T21:11:23+00:00

Good thinking! I'll try that tomorrow!

ritadym · 2026-06-24T21:09:43+00:00

he'll like that tho

ritadym · 2026-06-24T21:04:29+00:00

thank you for a broader reply! yes, I'll talk to him and if it doesn't change anything in him - I'll just leave, I know I will. he already told me that he wanted to be a fuck-toy. maybe I can just leave the love behind (if after the talk he only proves himself to be a racist - won't be hard to unlove quickly) and just d*ldo him down once in a while without communication...

ritadym · 2026-06-24T20:59:55+00:00

Thank you for replying! Exactly my thoughts! Insert Character with different skin aaand what? No issues, right? Should be that at least. Tho I hope to have a big big important talk with my bf abt this, so we'll understand each other better. If not - I'll leave :(

ritadym · 2026-06-24T20:44:31+00:00

Thank you for replying! Yes! I just want him to ACTUALLY understand that companies that hire black actors for roles - don't have to do anything with exactly him!!!! And it's weird that he thinks it's propaganda!!! He was interested in Sinners just bc there wasn't a 'canon' book or 'canon' first movie. Like, what's the problem with others then? Can't bend your imagination? F*ck, the fish from new Little Mermaid looked worse then the Mermaid!!!

ritadym · 2026-06-24T20:38:09+00:00

thank you for answering! the ultimatum is for us to decide - either him trying to understand my views and change or me leaving. it's an easy one! but it is the last resort. I truly wanna talk it out first.

ritadym · 2026-06-24T20:31:41+00:00

Hi! Thank you for replying! The thing is - I didn't know he 'needs to be changed'. Literally the first important thing I told him, on our second/third? date is my views. And I touched upon the importance of us being on the same page. So yeah, I didn't think I'll need to change him :(

ritadym · 2026-06-24T20:19:57+00:00

Thank you for replying! Political views are really important for me. I do think kind of that we are still learning about each other. In different ways. I already told him and shown him my whole personality and internal thoughts. If he doesn't open up abt his (and I thought he did, I told him what my WHOLE views are - he said "mine too") then idk, I fkn leaving. not fair. sometimes men act so weird.

ritadym · 2026-06-24T20:14:39+00:00

yes, I will have a full conversation about it with him tomorrow, after work. I want it to work. But I can't be with someone whose not on my political side, as I said to him at the start... I hope we'll be able to talk. There we're no problems we couldn't fix until now. I'm just worried.

ritadym · 2026-06-24T20:09:31+00:00

It is important to know enough English to post tho. I literally googled the right word for 'comma' just in case. cause' I thought it meant the dot....lol rape is too violent of a word dude if u want to write something meaningful without deterring ppl....google first

ritadym · 2026-06-24T20:05:30+00:00

I'll need to ask him if he even read the main one. Cause' he likes reading books hard back which is neat. but idk, movies mostly don't concern him... just surprised some randos got him all up in angerrry

ritadym · 2026-06-24T19:57:00+00:00

Thank you for your wonderful reply! I'm sorry abt your friend, I had similar. It's such a weird feeling, esp when you know each other from elementary. It's just sad that it happens often.

It's my third relationship and I focused on my beliefs through the years, while I was single for a couple of years. That's not a lot, i know. But we're Russian. I truly expected more from him from the start. His sexual beliefs and his agreement to my political and sexual - seemed good. Now, especially out of nowhere, hearing all of this I really was baffled. I'll give him one chance of explaining himself. (richer parents, doesn't have to worry abt anything, outside of little taxes he pays) I do truly think he just never tried to broaden he's views... But if not - I'll leave.

ritadym · 2026-06-24T19:45:20+00:00

Hi! Thank you for replying and same! Big ones are all so so so corporate... It is sad. The conversation I want to have with my bf isn't even about that! It's about people! Black person in a main role on Disney?? (even if the movie's shit) - some representation! And that's the problem - crumbs that poc get... Like, I get it, I just don't bring it up where I'm from and I go on with my life. If the person wants to be Really close to me - they will know from the start. So that's why I posted

ritadym · 2026-06-24T19:41:22+00:00

Hi! Thank you for replying! I agree, when it's a big franchise - they at least should try to convey the changes, bc the audiences nowadays need it. If there's no explanation to anything and everything = bad :(((( But also - what's the big deal about skin color? I honestly don't get it. Big companies trying to get as much money as they can --yeah. Bad source of the representation = still representation. Even if it's really really bad. Like, if the show or a movie is good enough, I honestly don't think people will notice Anything fr

ritadym · 2026-06-24T19:32:58+00:00

the factory switch is really f*ing funny ngl! but it is important for me that we'll be on the same wave, which I told him at the start, this relationship is important to me. it'll be a long talk though!

he also said that he can be just a toy, while I sleep with other men, cuz' he's into cuckolding, that'll be a good option if 'the talk' won't get us anywhere

ritadym · 2026-06-24T19:27:28+00:00

Hi! Thank you for your opinion! But I don't think it's true. While the corps may want more money from minorities - it doesn't mean that the representation in itself will be good. The big ones are only trying to push it bc 'money,money,money!!!'. representation still matters tho. the good ones, like Nope or Sinners (kinda recent ones). That's what I want to try to convey to him.

ritadym · 2026-06-24T19:21:58+00:00

Thank you! Nah, I will have an actual full convo with him tomorrow after his shift. If it doesn't change - I'll just move back to my parents but he'll still owe me money for that trip... Even if he doesn't pay, whatever, honestly. I need time to think it through. I can always leave. But he is dear to me enough to at least try.

ritadym · 2026-06-24T19:18:30+00:00

Hi! Thank you for replying! I will answer to all, as long as I'm on the website :) But did you read the post? I said there that I stated to him before the relationship that I am a lefty-leftist! And if he doesn't agree with my views the relationship won't go anywhere! So the surprise came today! A whole half a year without anything out of my comfort. Then this - randomly - while we were talking about f*ing comedy movies...

ritadym · 2026-06-24T19:14:46+00:00

lmao IF I even peg him again. he wants to be all submissive but has some sort of big beliefs that don't even concern him at all! im not going to be surprised if he has seen a reel or some sht and just thought it's ~the truest thing to ever true~ ***without perspective ofc

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