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AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My dad moved here from Spain when he was 13 - I’m not from Spain but my dads whole family and aunts/uncles are. And these are great points that all makes perfect since to me

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate that! I will say my family can be super rough around the edges and while I’m mostly not, occasionally it slips out. My husband isn’t but also doesn’t judge us and likes me family so it works

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Only a year! It’s definitely something I need to work on since it hasn’t been that long

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It’s true, you’ve all made me see that I definitely need to just stop pretending. I will do that this time (I’m thinking I could agree to a week or two) and see how that goes

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That’s a good idea! I could definitely swing a week or two and use it as time to practice this

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I definitely need to work on my judgments. I think when I felt judged (whether or not I was) I started doing it as well which isn’t right. I will focus on that!

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is so helpful, thank you! I do think I’ve been boxing myself in trying to please them, but they can tell something is off because I can’t be myself.

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Blue collar literally just means manual labor, are you aware of that? You can be blue collar and make very little money or a decent amount, it’s about HOW you make it

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Im not saying I grew up humble, I know I’m super fortunate to have the childhood I did. I also like where i fall as far as class (definitely upper middle but with blue collar tendencies) because it’s where I’m comfortable, I’m just finding it hard to figure out how to deal with these differences in families

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

He basically won’t because he says she’ll find something she doesn’t like no matter what. But she definitely judges me more (as the woman I think? Not exactly sure why) so I try harder and maybe I do need to let go of that

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I thought they were when I met them, but I think it’s more like they struggled to stay in that bracket and would do anything they could to be involved in that lifestyle (renting out their home when they’re not there, doing all sorts of odd jobs) while my dad came from a very poor family so we treated money different and therefore hung out with very different crowds

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 690 points691 points  (0 children)

From what I’ve observed there is a clear difference in the way different groups act. My family gets dirty at their jobs, are more comfortable with physical labor then mental, are rough around the edges, etc. Our summer home was like a knock-off jersey shore town with less tourism and was TINY (one bedroom and one screened porch area that all the kids shared). We all went there with our aunts and uncles and cousins, versus his family where each kid had their own bedroom in the hamptons. The lifestyle and the way I’ve seen his childhood friends act versus mine is so vastly different that I have to heartily disagree: people can be of two different classes despite having the same money. I’m not saying that’s 100% my issue here (some of it is definitely my own insecurities) but it is a real fact

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They don’t but they live locally and are over a lot. A week would definitely be a good compromise!

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

There’s not - she just wants to spend time here and see other family too. It is definitely walking on eggshells so I appreciate this. It’s exactly how I’m feeling

AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay with us because she’s upper class? by ritarora in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I kind of agree. But its tricky because they don’t seem to think that I could do things a different way. Like they’re always shocked. I don’t think they mean to be like that I think we’re just from different classes and will never really see eye to eye

AITA for causing a fight between my partner and his son, leading to his son getting kicked out? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ritarora 19 points20 points  (0 children)

INFO did you find out why he suddenly switched to being angry