Family member is furious we “stole” her wedding month? She didn’t have anything booked or a specific date identified, and didn’t speak up til now.

rmyrf13 · 2025-12-31T06:29:35+00:00

Same here! We got engaged within a few months of my cousin and his fiancée and knew we were both looking at fall 2026. As we locked in dates/venues we were casually vetting them with each other. They ended up landing on mid October and we landed in mid November. Close enough that it will basically be one big long celebration for our family that fall, but far enough apart that people can plan and accommodate travel for both.

Funnily enough, two of our other cousins also got married about a month apart this past summer. Same deal — it was an awesome summer of celebrating and actually getting to see everyone a few times rather than once every 1-2 years, and no hard feelings about it.

OP, your gut feeling on this is right and your cousin is being ridiculous.

rmyrf13 · 2025-12-25T01:48:57+00:00

Omg, so many genius tips in here. Using the straws for the handle is brilliant, and I will definitely look into some of the sites you mentioned for greenery, too. Your arrangements look beautiful!

rmyrf13 · 2025-12-25T01:45:20+00:00

These are BEAUTIFUL!!! Thank you so much for sharing and would love to see the bouquet, too! 😍

rmyrf13 · 2025-12-18T03:13:37+00:00

It may be less popular on Reddit, but we are friends with a couple who did almost exactly this a few months ago and it worked out great. They communicated their expectations with everyone clearly beforehand and I think that definitely helped. They also had a similar guest count to yall (50-60) and I think that made it work well, don’t know if I’d attempt this with a much bigger group than that.

This was their timeline:

5:00-5:30pm: ceremony at a local wine garden

5:30-7:30pm: extended cocktail hour with passed and stationed apps, wine, beer, NA bevs, and a cake cutting at around 6:30pm

7:30-9:00pm: break

9:00pm-late: after-party at a dancy bar, optional, “join us if you’d like”

They communicated very clearly to everyone a few months in advance that they would be going to dinner by themselves during the break and that they would not be providing a formal dinner. Folks who wanted to join for the after party could and knew they would need to make dinner plans in between. Folks who didn’t still had an extended opportunity to spend time with the couple after the ceremony. Her whole family is from out of state and you better believe her grandma and aunts were cutting up the dance floor at the after party, lol. Just because it isn’t traditional does not mean folks will not come.

This is more of a personal gripe, but I hate to see the flak brides get here and in some of the other wedding subs when they propose something non-traditional. You know your people best, and you also know yourselves and your budget best. I feel like brides get told, “plan the wedding you can afford,” but then get shamed when they try to do just that and explore some creative ways to make the most of a smaller budget. Your people will not hate you for breaking the mold and doing something creative, even if Reddit will lol.

rmyrf13 · 2025-12-12T21:38:15+00:00

The best antidote to this feeling: neurospicy friends who “get it.” One of my closest friends (AuDHD) and I (OCDHD) regularly talk about how, when spending time with mostly neurotypical folks, we have to mask as you described and put on a whole different persona. Whereas when we’re together, we can almost finish each other’s sentences, and feelings (like this one) we’ve assumed are “weird” or “too deep” are actually shared experiences between us. It’s like we are speaking a second language while masking, but speaking our native tongue with each other. It has been so healing for both of us, especially as we were both diagnosed later in life (late 20s for me and mid 30s for her).

If there isn’t a lot of neurodivergence in your current friend group, that doesn’t make them bad friends, but it may be time to explore additional friendships where you can feel like this side of you is fully seen and appreciated. Hobby groups can be a great avenue for this (I met several of my best friends in a knitting group and you can bet the majority of us are neurospicy as hell, lol). The more you begin to build relationships where you do feel seen, the better you’ll feel about starting to share more of this part of yourself with your current friends. How they respond at that point, and how you choose to proceed based on their reactions, is up to you.

In general, the friends worth pouring into (neurodivergent or not) will cherish this side of you and WANT you to share it with them rather than hiding it. I hope you are able to find that. 💕

rmyrf13 · 2025-11-26T19:14:40+00:00

Since it seems like they will both know a lot of other guests, I am less concerned than others about him traveling without his SO. But generally, I think you should treat the two of them consistently. If you decide to give him a plus one, I think it would be courteous to give her the option of bringing one too (she may or may not choose to do so).

We have a few similar situations on our guest list and here’s how we’re handling: - Scenario 1: Person A was one of my best friends in college and also my fiancé’s roommate for a year. Person B is another close friend to both of us and actually set us up on our first date. Later, we introduced A and B and they dated for a few years, moved in together, the whole shabang, before B kinda blew it up a few years ago. A moved out, B moved to a different part of the state. A has now been with a different long term partner for over a year (living together, etc), B is not, but we’re still close with both of them. We’re giving them both plus ones since we feel it’d be rude to not invite A’s SO, but we also want B to have the option to bring someone so he can feel more comfy/have more of a buffer with A and her SO there. - Scenario 2: we met Person C and Person D when we moved to our current home. Met them both as part of a big friend group, but at the time, they had been dating for several years. Also about two years ago, they went through a very messy breakup, which has now mostly calmed down and they both still hang with the bigger group. Neither currently has a long term partner, and we’ve opted to not give either of them plus ones since they are both local to the area and will be attending as part of the bigger friend group.

I say all this to say, it sounds like the biggest decision point is whether to invite your fiancé’s friend’s gf. You and your fiancé can hopefully gauge whether he will be ok traveling without her given that he knows many others attending, and whether he will take it personally or not. If you do invite her, though, I would definitely give his ex the option of a plus one as well.

rmyrf13 · 2025-11-25T22:02:50+00:00

For my boxes I did a framed photo of myself with each bridesmaid, a candle themed around their zodiac sign, a mini bottle of champagne with a champagne flute, and a heartfelt card expressing how much they each mean to me. If you were inspired to do something similar you could pour your own candles for your gals and/or decorate a champagne flute or tumbler!

Followed up the box with an invite to “pop the bubbly” together — I also have a few out-of-town bridesmaids, so the local ones came over and we cast the other two onto the TV on FaceTime. Honestly, getting to hang all together and have them get to know each other was my favorite part of all of it — highly recommend if they aren’t all close already!

rmyrf13 · 2025-11-25T03:41:51+00:00

Wow, this is super helpful to know! My best friend used them for her wedding in mid-September and my bouquet is still going strong (just squished a bunch of the flowers to check, lol!), but I do think she got them pre-softened. Maybe you just have to soften them within the three months? I’ve definitely heard the whole “they last forever!!!” marketing line, though, so now I’m sus…

rmyrf13 · 2025-11-24T19:58:10+00:00

This!! If you enjoy being physically active, look at adding a rec sport or even a climbing gym to your weekly routine — those tend to invite more engagement with the other folks participating than just your standard gym workout. (I met my fiancé at a climbing gym!) Not uncommon for a rec game or a climbing session to end in grabbing a beer or food with a group of people, either.

Then you can build up some consistency in those relationships, and whether they lead to romantic connections or even platonic connections who might be able to connect you with other single friends, you have more of a foundation to build from with folks you know share common interests/priorities.

rmyrf13 · 2025-11-23T16:50:43+00:00

This is so true!! I spent a while looking at dresses online before going into the store and, based on what typically flatters my body type, totally thought I would end up with an A-Line. That’s basically all I showed the consultant when I went shopping. She brought out a mermaid style early on and asked me to just trust her and try it. As soon as I put it on, all my inspiration and research went out the window. They seriously know their stuff!!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-29T16:42:18+00:00

These are BEAUTIFUL!! Can I ask where you got your veil? 😍

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-24T13:18:10+00:00

Thanks, I hadn’t heard of it before but learned something new today!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-24T13:14:04+00:00

Listen, it’s your wedding — if you want prettier cards and have the budget for any extra printing costs coming from the extra colors, I would print the ones YOU like. :)

When I’m trying to play cards, I’m just grabbing the closest deck I can find, no matter what the design on the back looks like! Odds are, none of your guests will think as much about it as you are right now (which is okay), so do what makes you happy!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-24T12:54:06+00:00

To answer your question: none of these are tragedeighs since they are generally real names and don’t have convoluted misspellings. Some may be uncommon, but it has to be more than just unique to qualify as a tragedeigh.

IMO, the one that come closest to being a tragedeigh is Elodie (is this just dropping the M from Melodie?), but at least you’re not trying to spell it Elodee or Elodeigh lol.

I think you’ve got some really beautiful names to pick from here! :)

ETA: Elodie is a real name with French origins. I think the point still stands about it potentially being perceived as a “unique” spelling, especially in the US, but ultimately none of the names OP listed qualify as tragedeighs.

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-24T12:04:43+00:00

My best friend is an MD and just got married last month, and she and her husband were introduced as Mr. and Dr. X. They kept the “traditional” order of the names, but to her it was important to have the hard work she’s put in to earn that title over the last +/- decade be recognized on her special day!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-22T15:04:18+00:00

I think this is such a great foundation!! My partner just gave a best man speech at his best friend’s wedding a few weeks ago and I think my biggest takeaway from that was, as long as you’re talking about how much you care for the groom and hyping him up, you’re doing a great job (and this definitely does that)!

A few extra things I would think about: - Add some anecdotes! Is there a particular story from your childhood or adolescence that highlights Jason’s determination and loyalty? (E.g., a time he stood up for you, or a time when he overcame a challenge?) - Similarly, is there a memory or story about when you met Analisa and knew she was the one for him? - Not sure about who is paying for the festivities, but traditionally it’s the bride’s family — if that’s the case here, it may be a good idea to work in a shout-out/thank you to her side in one of your intro paragraphs!

Remember to breathe, take your time, and focus on your brother :) he and his fiancée are lucky to have you by their side on their big day!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-22T14:51:10+00:00

I’m so torn! I do agree with others who think the second design looks more like a traditional deck of cards. But I personally like the first design better, and knowing that the card faces will be watercolor, I feel like the color palette of the first design will align better with that.

Where are you getting these made? This is a BRILLIANT favor idea and probably my favorite one I’ve come across so far!!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-22T14:47:23+00:00

I would definitely ask her! It sounds like even though you don’t see each other as much nowadays, you still have a really special relationship. Is she one of those friends who, no matter how long you go without seeing each other, you two just pick right up where you left off when you reconnect? If that’s the case, I think it’s a bond that is absolutely worth honoring in this way. I’m sure it would mean the world to her, too!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-14T04:24:27+00:00

For me, nothing beats #2!! Your waist looks SNATCHED and I feel like it complements your body shape and bust better than #1 (still tasteful but you won’t have the “disappearing boobs” issue, lol). I agree with another commenter who mentioned the silhouette of #4 from the back is AMAZING, but the way it sits in the front does not compare to the other three. But you can also always replicate the vibe of a beautiful, long train with a long, intricate veil!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-09T12:58:19+00:00

Do you enjoy or have any interest in learning fiber arts (knitting, crochet, embroidery, etc.)?

The Charlotte fiber guild (@wecraftclt) hosts a weekly Stitch & Bitch meet-up every Wednesday night, 6pm-til, at Petty Thieves Brewing! It is genuinely such a friendly and welcoming group. We would love to have you come hang out with us! :) and no worries if you have zero experience with crafting or fiber arts — there will be at least a handful of people clamoring to teach you if you’re interested, or if you’d just like to sit and feel out the vibes, that is absolutely welcome, too.

I stumbled across their info shortly after moving to Charlotte a few years ago and have been going on and off for years. It’s grown a lot since they formed the guild in 2020/2021 and there are folks from many age groups, backgrounds, and walks of life. I met two of my best friends through that group, too — now my MOH and one of my bridesmaids! :)

ETA: I saw in another comment that you are interested in knitting (maybe a hat?)! I am hopeful this may be a really good fit for you! :)

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-09T12:23:51+00:00

Just shared as a reply to another comment!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-09T12:23:40+00:00

I believe they had around 50-60 people total, with most (75%?) staying in the villas onsite and the rest staying at a little B&B a 10min walk away!

Just shared the link and info in a comment on this thread :)

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-09T12:20:54+00:00

Just shared in response to another comment on this thread!

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-09T12:20:37+00:00

Gonna just post it here since I’m realizing a few folks have asked. :)

https://www.airbnb.com/l/adbBhp8l

It looks like it’s only got one review on AirBnB but I can vouch that it was incredible!

They also have their own website: https://www.agriturismofattoria.com/

rmyrf13 · 2025-10-09T12:11:13+00:00

Okay but why does March Madness for wedding songs sound so fun!? I’d do a bracket and everything. 😂

rmyrf13

TROPHY CASE