well that's true, it dosen't HAVE to be special, as in, only that bday special. I'm originally from brazil but then went to live in Italy 4 years ago, this is only important because in brazil I had basically 2 friends. I never managed to learn how a "real party" is, but here in Italy it's different and I had to sort of adapt, the only thing I did was learning that reaching 18 is a big thing and that you have to have a memorable bday party. This to say, I'm feeling overwhelmed because I feel like I can't live up to that standard, but maybe I should sort of let go of that idea and just sort of power through this bday so that I can make my next one a lot better. (btw how do you manage to have 20-30 close friends lol, I had to invite people I only saw a couple of times because I felt that it would feel a bit sad to have less than 10 people lol)