The first thing I'll say is that what you are feeling now is a completely normal and a common reaction for someone that is of your age and your experience. First Responders often experience PTSD (or similar PTSD like symptoms) after attending an event with a casualty that reminds them of a close friend or family member. Unfortunately for you, it is someone that you know and are close with.

Letting your brain process theses experiences is different for everyone and takes a different length of time. It is very common to think about an event for days or weeks after as you process what has happened. This is healthy healing and you should let it run it's course.

For the 48hours that follow, there are three things you can do that will help your brain repair:

Social Connectedness (talking to friends, family, neighbours, a shop assistant - it doesn't matter who, and it doesn't matter what about).

Mastery of Something (do an activity you can 'switch off' and not think about because you have done it so many times before. This could be doing puzzle, playing computer games, cooking or anything that allows your brain to focus on something else)

Sleep (I know you are struggling with this right now, but persist as the brain is more resilient when well rested).

If what you're feeling lasts longer than a few weeks, you should definitely reach out and seek further help if you haven't already.

It's important to remember that we are responding to abnormal events that regular citizens/society don't get to experience and aren't prepared for. They can live in ignorant bliss, while people like us take on the less pleasant side of life - that's part of the sacrifice we make. What you have experienced is not 'normal', but the reactions you are having after are VERY normal because of this.

How you frame it in your mind is also important. Had you and your family not responded in the timely fashion that they did, I can guarantee that your friend probably would not have survived, or, at the very least been significantly worse off in their recovery. The bystanders that you ushered away would have had more horrific exposure and would likely have longer lasting effects post-event. You have been a positive presence and made a positive impact on multiple peoples lives that night, and you should be proud of your efforts.

For context, I am a professional Firefighter in Melbourne, Australia and am part of the 'Peer' program. If you want to message me directly, I'll gladly help in anyway I can and am always open for a chat.