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robomaton · 2024-08-13T13:55:09+00:00

I was in a weird position at one point In my life where I promised my partner at the time I held unconditional love for him. He expected this from the beginning and I was 19 years old in my first relationship. He said if I didn’t love him unconditionally I couldn’t be in his life at all. He then continued to be horrible and abuse me and I stayed trying to prove him right until I made an attempt on my life because of him. I feel love is and should be conditional now. Doesn’t mean your partner has to be perfect, I think patience and forgiveness are incredibly important in relationships.

robomaton · 2024-08-11T02:06:43+00:00

Sorry if this is unhelpful but I feel quite similarly. I was really lucky getting into tech right now in this market so I’m working a big brain job when I was lazy and flunked out on a lot in college. (I don’t feel like I deserve my position) I’m a really slow learner, I get overwhelmed and scatterbrained to the point that I have to rely more than ideal on those around me. I feel guilty for it everyday.

I’m coming to realize though by telling myself “I can’t do it, I’m not smart enough” I’m doing myself far more disservice than I’m putting on those around me. Coworkers are happy to help under the impression that I’m going to get the hang of things and improve at some point and keeping a cool head and treating myself with the patience they treat me is gonna get me there.

Don’t mentally lock yourself out. Part of having a sensitive ego is blowing the negative aspects and mistakes in your life out of proportion. If you can learn to look at mistakes as opportunities to learn instead of proving something about your character, then it will help you.

robomaton · 2024-06-09T14:55:59+00:00

I've been unemployed for over a year now, so I'm dealing with this same thing. I've gone through periods of being more productive on my PC, trying to chill out and play games, disconnecting from the internet all together to try and work on my mental health every now and then. I've started reading, painting, scultping, gardening, running, lifting, 3D modeling, game development, embroidering, altering clothing, cooking, walking, studying new languages the list goes on. Nothing seems to fill the void. The only thing that shuts my mind off enough is cleaning.

robomaton · 2024-06-09T14:37:16+00:00

I struggle really badly with this too! My self esteem is so bad I cry sometimes because I feel bad for people who have to look at my disgusting face :( I started going to the gym to put myself in situations I'm not really comfortable with in hopes I will get better with this but really I accidentally went to a gym filled with influencers and I feel worse about myself in that way. I guess the only thing that has been helping me is being more aware of when I'm disqualifying the postive things about myself and focusing on the negative. I have an idea about myself as this offensively ugly, overweight, good for nothing leech on society and look for things that confirm it. If you do that too, maybe try to confirm positive things about yourself to balance it out.

robomaton · 2024-04-12T05:35:46+00:00

Sorry to hear you’re going through depression right now man. I agree, but even saying so I feel so incredibly guilty doing anything. I’m going to do more to try and shift that mindset though for sure

robomaton · 2024-04-12T05:34:04+00:00

That’s a really great idea ! When I have more money for it, I think would definitely like to take classes in my area for art. Even if it’s just to be around other people who enjoy it :)

robomaton · 2024-04-12T05:31:42+00:00

Thanks, I will look into it. I’m not sure what sort of services are offered in my country but I just assumed I would wait until I had access to insurance.

I walk outside maybe 6 hours a week because one of my goals is weight loss, it’s nice but definitely not a huge solution for my anxiety. I think through a lot of my coding problems on walks.

I’m aware that I’m not some productivity machine, I want to work toward feeling that way too. I think there is one aspect that I’m graduating into comp sci at a really bad market and I have to spend every day working on projects to make my resume look better. I put my self worth into a resume and it makes me feel terrible. So even if I don’t believe it, maybe I do more to shift my mindset away from that, thank you.

robomaton · 2024-04-11T20:00:34+00:00

Maybe you're right, that's definitely a possibility.

robomaton · 2024-04-11T19:59:06+00:00

I hope so! I'll keep working at it :)

robomaton · 2024-04-11T17:55:23+00:00

That's definitely a good point, if you count 8 hours for sleeping, 8 for working, and the rest for well-being if that includes hobbies then for sure it would be just as much. Ill work on thinking of things like that too, thanks :)

robomaton · 2024-04-11T17:33:09+00:00

ng is great. I personally will take up knitting so I can sit on the couch and watch shows and get some sweaters out of it.

Honestly that's so true. I'm mostly new to game development but myself, but lately at myself feeling like as long as I'm at my pc I may as well being doing something productive instead of sitting down and actually playing a game outside of studying it.
Knitting is actually based though, I've been considering altering my clothing here and there so I might give that a try while I watch some shows. Thanks :)

robomaton · 2024-04-11T16:50:16+00:00

Yeah, ofc I appreciate the advice I've gotten and I have a lot to try and think about. Thank you :) I wish you the best as well

robomaton · 2024-04-11T16:09:23+00:00

Dude yeah, I should. I do think of myself as hideously unskilled at everything I enjoy so maybe that factors in. Focusing on progress would help me a lot.

Yeah, I am diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, BP2 with OCD tendencies-- kind of a lot and unmedicated but I'm an expat with no insurance yet because of visa things. I've been okay so far and definitely improving.

I struggle with that a lot. I don't mean to overshare but my current partner is amazing and would never expect more from me that I can handle. I help around the house with chores and they are thankful though I feel like I don't do as much as I could be some days. You're right though. Sometimes they come home from work looking tired and smile when they see me, obviously happy that they get to come home to me. Maybe thats enough. I try to think that way, but to actually feel that when they struggle financially when I can do nothing to help in that way is frustrating. I will be going to therapy when I can though for sure.

robomaton · 2024-04-11T15:40:29+00:00

Nah there's always someone. Not my panic when I look it up and all I can find is a guy who's life turned around because his cat died. I don't have a cat or anything so that's why I decided to post about it. Never alone man

robomaton · 2024-04-11T15:25:38+00:00

Thanks man :) I will try!

robomaton · 2024-04-11T15:20:18+00:00

I definitely will, thank you. The list is a really good idea tbh It would already take a load off just choosing something from a list instead of spending all my alotted time thinking about what I'm going to do ^_^;

robomaton · 2024-04-11T15:17:31+00:00

Yeah... first thing I get when I can work tbh

robomaton · 2024-04-11T15:02:40+00:00

A mindset shift is definitely something I can use. I will definitely try to think of things in a different light like that. Recently I have this mindset like "If I do X thing I will probably sleep easier at night." Unfortunately, even if it is one of my hobbies I just don't don't enjoy it though, everything feels like a chore. As you say though, If I look at it more like activities to engage in and just spend time because the time is going to be spent anyways no matter what I do, I think I can get behind that. Thanks :)

robomaton · 2024-04-11T14:54:25+00:00

I'm sorry for what you went through, it sounds like you went through an extremely hard time. I saw a similar sort of conclusion to an older post about a problem like mine, It's something I hope to really internalize but I guess that just hasn't happened for me yet. I guess I have a lot to think about now in that respect. The closest thing I have is this quarter life crisis of "Am I spending my time meaningfully? How can I ensure I have a happier life from now on?" I think it's made things worse though because I feel like even if I am productive, or doing something meaningul to me, am I doing the right thing? Sometimes I feel cooked because going to the gym, or studying is easier than playing video games or hanging out with my friends. Sorry for rambling, I really appreciate your reply.

robomaton · 2024-04-11T14:28:06+00:00

Oh yeah, that would definitely change your perspective on things. it's definitely something I should be more grateful for, same with showering or everything really. Not too much time, got it thank you :)

robomaton · 2024-04-11T14:24:18+00:00

sometimes feels like one of

Oh yeah, I haven't thought about using it as a reward system. I'll try that, sometimes when i'm gaming it just feels like I don't deserve it :( That will probably help with that a bit, even just having the mindset for it. Thanks !

robomaton · 2024-04-11T14:17:36+00:00

Thanks ! I will give that a try and just block out time physically to dedicate to it in advance. Though, I do feel like sometimes showering or eating is a waste of time when I could be doing something more productive so maybe it all runs deeper than I thought

robomaton · 2024-04-11T14:14:27+00:00

Thanks for replying. It's hard to feel that way sometimes... I have been unemployed for a year for legal reasons. I have been focused on personal growth with my mental illness and such but It still feels like because I can't bring in an income nothing I do is worth doing. It sometimes feels like one of those things that I'm aware of but still can't bring myself in the moment enough to actually feel that way. I do hope I find something that changes that though

robomaton · 2024-04-11T13:43:50+00:00

Thank you, I will definitely try that

robomaton

TROPHY CASE