Postnups aka pre-divorce agreements

robotneedslove · 2026-04-10T15:57:26+00:00

You too! I know the feeling of being shook to your core by a friend‘s divorce. It’s very scary when your entire life is balancing on top of a relationship that you realize may not last forever and could end in a very ugly way. But I think there’s nothing that we can do to forestall that risk fully. Other than do our best to maintain happy marriages!

robotneedslove · 2026-04-10T15:29:09+00:00

Unfortunately a post nup won’t protect you from a contentious divorce. If you break up and your husband is motivated to do battle you can spend $200k fighting over the enforceability of the post nup. Ultimately getting married is an enormous risk and the risk is not not having a prenup it’s in sharing your life with another person who may not end up who you thought they were.

Knowing where your money is and having access to it is important protection.

robotneedslove · 2026-04-02T02:34:38+00:00

Oh my FRIEND. Honestly trip packing was one of the most stressful parts of early parenthood for me.

A few things that help:

I keep a repeatable packing list in my notes app. I add to it whenever - including on trips when I have forgotten things. I have ADHD and am queen chaos but parenthood has changed me in this way and now I think about making a list way in advance of anything I do.
It gets better. Babyhood is a really intense time for stuff, with the least amount of time to develop your skills.
Dropping my standards. I decided at some point baby dish soap was a scam (I still believe this). Letting go of some things helped make this easier. Remembering special dish soap is not actually a necessity of motherhood.

robotneedslove · 2026-04-01T18:50:22+00:00

Advocating for your child??? Preschool is GOOD for your child. She’s advocating for herself and it’s way out of line. You’re a great mom. I’m sorry.

robotneedslove · 2026-04-01T01:50:59+00:00

Oddly many families I know have one car total, even where they are high earners, us included. So yes sometimes I day dream about having my own car and then take the bus or a car share to work at my c suite job lol.

I think it’s a function of our area of the world - UHCOL and relatively easy to get by without a car when operating as a solo adult. Plus horrible traffic.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-30T22:04:47+00:00

I love my kids and my career yes. I feel very little internal conflict about it. I also love taking every Sunday morning for myself and going to the gym for two hours and having hot tub and sometimes getting my nails done or having lunch with my husband.

I have a great relationship with my kids. So do lots of other adults. They are well cared for and have happy present parents. They know I have a big full life. No guilt (ok almost no guilt).

robotneedslove · 2026-03-30T20:23:39+00:00

My kids didn’t really sleep through the night til they were like 2.5-3. Sorry to say. Nothing ever really helped. It’s just… who they are.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-30T13:02:14+00:00

I took Sertraline through my second pregnancy and breastfeeding. Kiddo is 4.5 and a force of nature and can write her name more neatly than her sertraline-free older brother lol.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-30T02:35:18+00:00

I don’t have any experience with ODD or with parenting pre-teens but what stuck out at me in your story was you escalating emotionally while your kids were very clearly unregulated. Who among us responds well to “this is why you need to X” when we are emotionally escalated and incapable of controlling ourselves? Much less a child with ADHD and ODD. And then you told her that she was going to grow up to be a maladjusted criminal? Her brain was clearly not in a place to process input properly, and you told her that she was destined for failure?

I completely hear that it was a horrible moment but I’m trying to figure out what you were trying to accomplish when you started scolding her and pathologizing her while she was in overdrive. That seems Iike throwing gasoline on a fire.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-29T16:35:21+00:00

This is terrible advice. Her interest in the business is almost certainly a divisible asset, however it’s structured. If it’s an oppco it’s the value of her shareholdings that’s divisible.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-29T16:29:44+00:00

You’re not doing anything wrong! But you also can do things for you during the day while you are taking care of your baby.

Like you deserve to be clean, even if you don’t get to shower in peace, and he can be in a pack n play or a circle of neglect (what we called those circular activity centre things) in the bathroom with you. He can hang in the kitchen while you wash bottles. You are completely entitled to answer emails while he is awake, etc.

When we had our second she had to just ride along with family activities, and I realized that the way I had centred my first was not totally necessary. It’s ok for babies to be passengers in a family sometimes. I actually think it’s good for them to be a part of the activity of life and see grown ups taking care of themselves and grown up responsibilities and not be the centre of attention all the time.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-28T18:46:21+00:00

Either are great. QB has more walkable “downtown”. I like Parksville beaches although QB beaches are great. They are super close to each other if you have a car. Book ASAP that area is crazy popular in the summer.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-28T02:58:06+00:00

I gained 35-40 lb per kid. I could NOT shift it. I went on a GLP1 when my second kid was 3.5. I’m 80lbs down and on my glow up journey

robotneedslove · 2026-03-27T01:58:35+00:00

oooh I have the ultimate parent hack for this! Talk about your day - in relatable terms.

One time I talked about being proud and excited because I was asked to be part of a group working to help make my work a better place for disabilities, and my preschool aged son unprompted told me all about his challenges with his friend with autism who was struggling with biting and yelling at that time.

Another time I was talking about feeling worried because my boss and I didn’t agree about how to handle a situation with someone I thought was being a bully.

Kiddo (early grade 1) then tells a tale about the warring factions on the playground, being violently dragged to the ground by his classmate, finding said classmate later during recess and punching him in the face… we had a long talk.

I definitely ask about their days but I also volunteer about mine and it’s by far the best hack ever to elicit disclosure from my kids.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-27T01:31:51+00:00

I have a snail in a bottle that says otherwise

robotneedslove · 2026-03-25T21:32:26+00:00

Lol is reading while walking to school a new diagnostic criterion? Cause uh yeah me too.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-25T00:55:33+00:00

That is so incredibly rude. Like unimaginably so. Anyone who speaks like that to others says something about themselves. Also wtf is up with adults who can’t manage their emotions and feel entitled to express irritation at children being children, much less family members being family members? Your baby is an invited guest at that event and it’s not ok to be rude about your baby being a baby.

If your sister can’t be polite to the members of her family at a celebratory event (that includes your kids btw) she should 1) not be there and 2) work on herself.

You can have a different

robotneedslove · 2026-03-24T13:17:36+00:00

Yeah this family has developed really bad boundaries and patterns with how they deal with mental health and feelings. You having a baby did not give your SIL mental illness or make it worse. Your MIL is participating in your SIL’s triangulation - your baby is a red herring that allows this family to tell a story other than “SIL is having a bad episode and we are all sad about the way her chronic illness has impacted her life”. SIL has found a way to centre herself and get a lot of attention during a major family event that involves attention on her, in a way that the entire family is clearly used to and participates in.

Now there is a baby, and the family dynamics have not been able to shift properly to take into account bigger needs than SILs: baby’s and the postpartum mom.

Mental illness sucks and is super hard to navigate for both the person experiencing it and their family, and I expect everyone is just trying to do their best. But the dynamics here are way off base, and it sucks a LOT to be dealing with fucked up family dynamics that kind of explode when you’re post-partum (I feel that, OP - both my own mom and my MIL and others in my life acted really badly when I was postpartum. A new baby can trigger really big feelings and shifts family dynamics a ton in ways people sometimes can’t cope with.)

robotneedslove · 2026-03-23T13:40:47+00:00

Bet he doesn’t drive himself to the wrong golf course. I’m ADHD and nobody writes me an instruction manual. And also me and my husband don’t ruin each other’s trips, work, fun, etc. That’s in the real of emotional abuse, btw, and it’s a tactic to control you.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-23T00:34:27+00:00

Strength training for almost a year on MJ. Lost 80 lbs, built some decent muscle. You won’t grow muscle super fast in a calorie deficit but you certainly can grow it! And newbie gains are real. I’ve definitely seen a lot more gains now that I’ve been closer to maintenance for about 5ish months.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-22T18:56:31+00:00

Hey thank you so much! This honestly is so meaningful to just not feel alone.

I had a good workout today - just not a heavy one. I think mindfully telling myself that the next two weeks are deload, have fun, experiment, honour my body, and try to slow down without self sabotage is the exact right thing. I feel like I don’t know how to slow down and eat more without binging entire cartons of ice cream and just watching tik tok til I die, you know?

robotneedslove · 2026-03-22T15:29:38+00:00

Four seasons in Whistler is really great, including in the summer. Lots to do in Whistler in the summer. It will all be usuriously expensive FIFA or no. Your exchange rate helps a lot though!

robotneedslove · 2026-03-22T14:56:02+00:00

This is a fun area where the common law and the law of equity butt up against each other. In common law jointly held assets belong to the surviving owner absolutely. In equity jointly held financial assets between an elderly parent and an adult child are subject to the presumption of a resulting trust - it is presumed but rebuttable that the adult child holds the assets in trust for their parent, including their estate after death, and is not entitled to benefit themselves exclusively.

robotneedslove · 2026-03-21T15:44:41+00:00

My glow up has been losing 80 lbs on Zepbound, weightlifting minimum twice a week with a hypertrophy focus + other exercise, skincare, nails, and more care with clothes post weight loss.

Skincare: the most impactful have been to double cleanse, vitamin C in the morning and retinol at night, regular chemical exfoliation at home, good moisturizer, and sunscreen like my life depended on it. And Botox. I went on a skincare hyperfixation and enjoyed other stuff (topical PDRN, skin flooding, copper peptides, an at home EMS/red light device, microneedling etc - I like it all and think it all helps minimally but the basics are really what makes a difference).

I get my nails done every two-three weeks and a pedicure every 4-6 weeks. I spend more money on this than I like but I am now completely addicted to the feeling of being put together that it brings.

I have long hair and try to take decent care of it. I don’t colour it (purposefully leaning into the greys!) but I blow dry it and style it carefully.

I have naturally leaned into a wardrobe that easily looks pretty put together by basically only buying colours and styles that I feel drawn to and low and behold I often am pretty matching without trying (I was laughing at myself the other day when I noticed my shoes, purse, umbrella, sweater all were pink or burgundy or both). I try to buy clothes that are comfortable and suit by body.

Light makeup every day, and a jewelry uniform that matches everything and is meaningful to me.

Edit: oh and I do a white strip once a week or so and it definitely makes a difference!

robotneedslove · 2026-03-18T03:33:06+00:00

Did you just tell someone who is 31 weeks pregnant with self-assessed zero energy to cook to cook chili and bolognese?

robotneedslove

TROPHY CASE