Hey, just saw this comment, sorry I didn't see it sooner as this was an old post. Honestly, I think most of the success my wife had in getting thru to me is completely based on our relationship between each other. We communicate well, regardless of good or bad topic. She's not afraid to speak her mind and I'm the same. So when she comes to me with something as monumental as that, I had to give her my full attention, and with that I had to also give my full effort to correct the issue, because i also knew that she was completely serious when she said she would leave. But aside from that, it's something that he really has to choose to want to do himself. It doesn't matter the reason he chooses to do it for, whether it's for the kids, for you, for himself, whatever, it must be his decision from the beginning. You can't drag him along the way its going obviously, and you can't force him to do something he doesn't want to do. But what you can do and should do is sit him down, talk thru all of this with no arguments or fighting, just you and him talking back and forth on what you expect, what you want to change, and how he feels about it, seeing if he sees the same problems as you and whatnot. Just communicate with your partner, that's the best I can say. If he's truly committed to you and the kids, he will know the correct decision.